Anything Goes Laundry Service
by Balthanon
Summary: Intending to get Nabiki off his back and her fingers out of his wallet, Ranma takes on the not too heavy burden of helping Kasumi with her chores around the house. Of course, as with anything in the Tendo household, this simple objective is complicated by the past, other people, and a painful batch of misunderstandings. Still, how much trouble can a load of laundry really cause?
1. Chapter 1

"I'm tired of it, Nabiki!"

"Deal, Saotome! You're the one living here free. You've got no room to complain."

"Like I got a choice?"

"It's hardly my fault, but sacrifices must be made I'm afraid, for the peace of the household and our daily bread." Nabiki assumed as pious an expression as she could manage, which wasn't very. Still, it wasn't like Ranma would notice. Heck, she was surprised he had managed to bring it up in the first place.

"Yeah, right," Ranma scoffed. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back against the wall, his shoulder brushing against the school uniform hanging on the wall. "As if you really take what you earn and just hand it over to your Pop."

Nabiki responded with a secretive smile, wagging a finger at Ranma from her position seated cross legged upon the bed. Holding up the family ledger, carefully written up in her own little code, she waved it at her potential brother-in-law. "Well, you've got no proof one way or another, whereas I can say definitively that you don't put a dime into the family budget and you don't lift a finger on chores. Poor Kasumi. The least you can do is let me take a few pictures in return."

"I'm not seeing how that helps 'Poor Kasumi'. You know what-" Ranma smirked, a confident expression crossing his face as he seized on Nabiki's argument. "-if I need to help out around the house, I'll do that. In return, you," he pointed at the middle Tendo sister, "won't be taking pictures of me any day I can prove I've helped out Kasumi. Or blackmailin' me."

"Right, like that will last long. House Hubby Ranma? Mr. Domestic? You won't last a week." Particularly after your Dad gets wind of your little bout with domesticity, she thought, a smile crossing her lips. And then she would have implied permission for her little photo shoots.

"Will too, fact I'll start right now, just you wait." 

* * *

"Yo, Akane!"

Looking up from her homework at her fiance, Akane asked, "What is it, Ranma?"

Leaning forward, hands resting on either side of the door, Ranma asked, "You know where Kasumi is?"

"Umm, doing the laundry I think, why?"

"No reason, just prov'in something to Nabiki." Waving briefly at his confused fiancee, Ranma walked down the hall and vaulted over the railing rather than bothering with the stairs since he was in a hurry.

Grinning to himself, Ranma jogged the rest of the distance to the laundry and bathroom, barely paying attention to his surroundings as he thought about finally getting Nabiki back. Well, getting her to stop anyway which would be almost as impressive when he told Hiroshi and Daisuke.

Striding in to the room, the locked door resisted for only a moment before the bolt snapped and the door swung open onto the laundry and changing room. Ranma got only as far as, "Hey, Kasumi, I want-" before the scene in front of him registered along with the force he had just needed to open the door, his brain finally catching up to his eyes.

Trying to make sense of what he was seeing, Ranma let his brain "rewind" and noted the little wooden stand-alone sign that people had begun putting up outside the family room to note that someone was in the furo, the larger curtain that was only drawn across the hall when privacy was needed, and finally the Kasumi only "Occupied" placard that absolutely no-one in the house ignored.

The little recap didn't help much, other than to let him know that what he was seeing was his own fault.

Approaching the sight cautiously in his own mind, Ranma first noted that Kasumi was in the room. This was good, because he had been looking for her. She was currently in nothing but a pair of panties and a bra. He was pretty sure that was bad. What was worse, however, was that his mind was informing him it wasn't the really horrifying part of what he was seeing.

Tentatively giving his mind permission to continue, it noted that Kasumi was currently holding a pair of his own boxers. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, as she was doing the laundry. However, the fact that she was currently rubbing it against her cheek... probably fell into the bad category.

At this point, he decided to pull off the band-aid and informed his mind to just get it over with- piles of panties, bras, and boxers were again expected though perhaps not in the quantities he was seeing. Kasumi lying in them with enough scattered over her own body to make it clear she had been nearly burying herself in the undergarments... not so good.

A pair of panties sliding off her head as she stared at him with a wide-eyed, guilty expression and others scattered across the occasional shelf and the washing machine also indicated they might have been airborne shortly before he arrived.

Asking his brain if it had anything else it wanted to inform him of, it noted that conclusions and comparisons to other residents in the house were all that were left. Giving this some thought, Ranma decided that he wanted to hold off on this. He would put a little distance between himself and the current situation before dealing with that information.

Forcing a smile onto his face, Ranma said, "I'll just... let you get... that is..." He thought for a moment, decided that this sentence was just not going to be finished without the conclusions he was keeping buried in the back of his mind and simply pulled the door shut.

...

Perhaps an hour later, Ranma finished the last kata in the most strenuous routine he knew. He had noticed Kasumi spying on him ten minutes into the workout and he had finally thought about what he had walked in on and noted certain similarities to an ancient, perverted martial arts master perhaps twenty minutes ago.

Toweling off as he walked out of the dojo, he paused, considering just heading into the house, then shook his head and made his way around the large building, nearly walking into Kasumi as she began sneaking around the corner. While she was dressed in her normal clothing, which was in no way suitable for it, she was quite clearly sneaking. She appeared to have taken the worst of Genma's lessons to heart and was so focused on "fading into the woodwork" that Ranma's sudden appearance elicited a small scream of surprise, quickly cut off as her hands clapped over her mouth.

As she stared at him, he looked around to make sure they weren't being observed, then grabbed the elder Tendo sister's hand and quickly dragged her back behind the Dojo. Another moment or two saw them ensconced in the equipment shed, safely tucked behind a large pile of mats. As private as it was likely to get on the Tendo compound.

Letting a breath out, he stared at Kasumi for a moment as she began calming herself. He opened his mouth a few times to ask a question or make a comment, then finally asked, "I don't suppose you've been possessed by an oni or demon?"

A short, sharp shake of the head.

"Had a pair of cursed panties slipped into your underwear drawer?"

Another shake of the head- though he was disturbed to note her breathing quicken at the suggestion.

"You're really Happosai with an incredibly creepy cloning technique?"

A final shake of the head.

"Then... you were..."

Kasumi appeared to consider for a moment, then said, "Umm, washing... well... caring for, my collection."

"Your collection."

"Yes."

"As in..."

Blushing furiously, Kasumi whispered, "My sil... sil... just my collection." The odd difficulty she had with the words she started to say almost reminded him of when he tried to say the C-word, but her eyes were locking on to what he was pretty sure was the laundry room like a lodestone and a hint of longing was easily discernible in her voice. Definitely nothing approaching the Pantiken or something.

"And this... collection... includes my own underwear?"

Shaking her head reprovingly, much as she did when he called Akane a tomboy, Kasumi corrected gently, "Mine."

"And Akane's? I'm pretty sure I saw some pig print panties in that pile." Not that he would ever let Akane know he knew what her panties looked like, but it wasn't like he hadn't seen them inadvertently a time or two.

"Also mine." Kasumi said firmly, without a trace of hesitation.

"Right..." Pausing, Ranma looked back at the house, then turned to Kasumi and looked her over, paying careful attention to her forehead in case he had missed any horns.

He wasn't really prone to them, but this was beginning to give him a bigger headache than Akane beating him over the head with a shinai. "I don't suppose... you could just tell me that you were possessed by Happosai, but it's all over now and I could just go beat him up a time or two then we could forget this ever happened?"

"Oh my, I couldn't do that. That would be fibbing." The idea seemed to horrify the homemaker.

He thought for a moment about asking about the underwear he was wearing right now, but swiftly shook his head. He was pretty sure he didn't want the answer to that question. He needed a little bit more information though. The fact that Kasumi had been keeping a secret this large and still considered lying a little an issue was tagged for later consideration.

"So, umm, when exactly did this start? When Happosai got back, did he do something or...?"

"Oh, no... Grandfather has been a perfect gentleman since he returned." That statement nearly caused Ranma's brain to crash again, but he recalled that Happosai never really did target Kasumi. No one did, she was... well, had been, the most saintly and inviolable person Ranma had ever met.

"Though, to be fair, I suppose he did encourage my interest in my lov, err, in undergarments. I don't know if you remember Grandfather from before Father and Mister Saotome sealed him away since you were so young, but I was around 8 the last time I saw him and he frequently played with me when I was little. I don't remember much before I was 3 or 4, but he stands out even now..." 

* * *

"Kasumi! Where are you, Kasumi!"

Giggling, the child in question wiggled further back under the bush she was hiding under as her mother continued to call for her. Kasumi had been promised a special treat for her fourth birthday by Granpa Happi if she could hide from him for longer than five minutes.

She was sure it had been at least as long as that, but she wasn't going to take any chances on a special present.

As her mother walked by she clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle the giggles. However, when she saw Granpa clinging to her back, they overcame her and her mother immediately turned, with Happosai dropping to the floor behind her and holding up a finger to his lips before darting away.

After her mother dragged her out from under the bush, scolding her for the twigs and leaves in her hair and the dirt all over her new dress, she was forced to take a bath, then sent to her room as punishment.

Within moments of entering her room, however, Granpa Happi popped through the window, mouth wide in a mischievous grin that Kasumi emulated. Bounding over excitedly, the little girl asked, "Did I do it? Did I do it? I was hidin' for at least 5 hours!" holding up all of her fingers to show how extremely long that had been.

"Well, then, as long as that, you say?" The old man assumed a cross-legged position on the little girl's bed, one hand stroking his white mustache. "That would be worth a very special present then, wouldn't it?"

Holding her breath, Kasumi nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, then, I suppose I'll need to give you- this!" Holding out a hand, the old man appeared to make no move whatsoever, then there was suddenly a box in his hand. Elaborately wrapped with an enormous pink ribbon and sparkly wrapping paper, it was the bestest looking present she had gotten this year.

Reaching for it, she was temporarily unable to grasp it as Granpa held it up and away. For a time, they played like that, the little girl jumping after the present while it remained tantalizingly out of reach. Her anticipation rising with every passing moment, she finally got a hold of the present, coming to a bouncing rest on her bed.

Moments later, her Mother said from the other side of the door, "Kasumi Tendo! You are not to bounce on your bed! You are going to wake your sisters!"

Breathless, Kasumi responded immediately, before her Mother could enter the room and see her present, "Yes, Mommy, I'll be good!"

Looking back over at her Granpa, she asked, "Can I open it now? Can I?" Receiving a waved permission from the old man, she immediately tore into the present and found a long, elaborate box of carved wood. Turning it over again and again, she finally found that pieces of it moved when she pulled on them or were able to be pushed in. However, try as she might, nothing happened when they were moved.

Curious and puzzled, she turned back to her grandfather and asked, "What is it?"

"Ahh, now that's the secret," he said, his voice low and conspiratorial. "When I was a young lad, I ran across a box much like this and was told a tale by the man who owned it."

"Deep in the depths of Japan, there lived three great priestesses. Each priestess could... well, it's not really important to the story right now. But anyway, the three priestesses had a magic box that held the three greatest treasures the world has ever known. Made by a nine-tailed fox spirit, it seemed to have no openings, hinges, or locks and was impossible to break. However, for those who could figure out the puzzle inscribed upon its surface, it would open, revealing the secret treasure."

Eyes wide, Kasumi listened to the story and looked down at her box. Turning it over again, she asked, "Is my box like that? Does it have a great, secret treasure inside of it?"

"It does," Granpa Happi confirmed, then leaned forward conspiratorially, "In fact, it has one of the original treasures locked away in the legend."

Eyes widening even further, Kasumi looked at the box with awe. "That's the bestest gift _ever_. How did you get it, Granpa?"

Smiling fondly, the old man patted her on the head and said, "That is a story for another day, but as one of the heirs of Anything Goes, you deserve it. If you can figure out that puzzle, you'll find a treasure beyond imagining. But!" Holding up a finger, Granpa Happi pointed to the box. "This is our secret, so you have to promise you'll keep it to yourself. I'll make you a little hiding space to help with that."

With that, the little man jumped down from the bed, examining the floor and walking around the room. As Kasumi watched him curiously, he stopped just behind her bed and lifted the corner of the rug, striking the floor once with a sharp crack. Picking up the piece of floorboard he had just broken, he beckoned for the little girl and showed her how to hide the little box in the alcove revealed in the floor.

"I'll be back in two weeks to give you a hint if you haven't gotten it yet. You're a smart girl though, I'm sure you'll manage."

For the next two weeks, Kasumi stayed all but confined to her room, trying to figure out how to open the box. She dragged in her little sister Nabiki and even snuck in with little baby Akane at one point, thinking that Granpa Happi wouldn't mind them since they were littler than her even.

When her father and grandfather returned though, she still hadn't figured out the box, so Granpa Happi gave her a clue and went off on another training trip not long after. Thinking about the contents of the box became her very favorite thing to do, the mystery almost unbearable. She liked to listen to the sound whatever was in the box made when she turned it, a soft, whispery sound that made her think of soft things.

It ultimately took two clues from Granpa Happi before she figured out the puzzle, the box folding open a couple days after he had left again. Reaching inside almost hesitantly, she felt the shimmering, ruffled fabric inside and slowly stroked it, marveling at how soft and nice it felt. Smiling, she decided she couldn't wait to talk to Granpa about it. 

* * *

Smiling happily as she finished the story of receiving the first pair of panties she ever added to her collection, Kasumi added, "It was my favorite gift that year, possibly because of how hard I had to work for it. I only wish I still had them, Mother took them away when I was six and I've never been able to find them again though I'm sure she didn't throw them away."

"I was heartbroken when it happened, wouldn't come out of my room for a week." Smiling fondly, Kasumi shook her head, pulling her hair over one shoulder and fingering the scrunchie that bound it.

Blinking, his tone incredulous, Ranma said, "Your _Mother_?" He paused to wrap his head around that for a minute. He wasn't sure whether to be thankful or not that the mats were behind him and thus banging his head against the "wall" wasn't going to do any damage. "Your mother knew about this and you're still... like you are?"

"Yes, well..." the mention of her mother seemed to damper Kasumi's spirits a little, but she continued on, "it was something that we disagreed about from time to time. I can't really say we agreed to disagree since I was so young when we lost her, but I like to think we would have eventually. I think it might have been why Mother said I couldn't continue studying martial arts with Daddy."

"Dr. Tanaka agreed with me on that, but Sensei Ito said it was because I had a gentle soul and Mother didn't want me taking up a life of violence."

"Keep in mind, I was a very young child, it was inevitable that Mother would find out really."

Those short sentences prompted so many questions for Ranma that he held up a hand again, gesturing for Kasumi to stop. He wasn't even sure where to begin- Kasumi of all people had studied Anything Goes. He had no idea who Dr. Tanaka and Sensei Ito were. Kasumi had actually disagreed with her mother of all people. He hadn't thought she was capable of disagreeing with anyone.

Ultimately though, he had to know how- or perhaps why. Kasumi couldn't lie if she tried, couldn't think of lying from her earlier reaction, and yet she had managed to keep this secret for...15 years?

"You're being pretty, well, open about all this, aren't ya, Kasumi?"

"Well, it is ever so nice to have someone to talk to about it. I thought about approaching Happosai, but I don't think that would be in keeping with my promise to Mother."

"Your promise?" Ranma asked weakly, wondering what on earth Mrs. Tendo had been thinking. If you're extracting promises, why not a promise to stop?

"When Mother found out she absolutely forbade me from mentioning my si- my collection to anyone, though Father in particular. Something about how she wasn't ready to lose him yet, though I'm not certain why she might have thought that."

Ranma on the other hand, was pretty certain that finding out Kasumi was a Happosai in the making would have given the younger Soun a heart attack. Mrs. Tendo might have been wiser than he was giving her credit for in all this.

"She was ever so upset, though..." 

* * *

Hanging over the edge of her bed on her stomach, Kasumi's legs kicked absently in the air as she opened her special place. Inside were her greatest treasures. A few were items that any child might have valued- a shiny shell picked up at the beach on a family trip, her favorite book, and a small stuffed animal that her Daddy had won for her at the fair last year. The vast majority, however, were her silky friends. The lovely panties and bras that Grandpa Happi had given her since her birthday two years ago and one or two that she had liberated from her mother's drawers.

She felt a touch guilty about that, since she was adding a third and fourth of her mother's belongings to her collection, but she felt that Kimiko Tendo didn't really value them enough. Why, they hadn't been in the laundry for two whole months before last night and they were ever so lovely. A blue almost the same color as her mother's hair, they were made of satin with delicate lace borders and shimmered slightly in the light from her window. The light caught a very light pattern woven into the fabric and Kasumi held her breath for a moment as she examined it.

Glancing back at the closed door for a moment, she listened intently for any sign of someone upstairs, but all she heard were the sounds of Akane and Nabiki yelling in the backyard as the former no doubt chased the latter around the koi pond despite her younger age. Her mother should be watching the babies to make sure they didn't fall in.

Convinced she was safe, Kasumi gradually brought the brassier from the set of lingerie up to her cheek, blushing a little as she slowly moved her head back and forth against the slick fabric. Just like Grandpa Happi had taught her, she concentrated and extended her 'cheek' senses into the fabric and smiled happily at the sense of 'Mommy' that flooded through her. For a little while, she just enjoyed that- it was almost as good as a hug from her mother- but eventually she took some of her own 'cheek power' and pushed it into the bra. Just enough to let it know that it was loved unconditionally and was hers without pushing Mommy out.

Assuming that she was safe, she reverently placed her mother's bra into the little alcove that was now lined in dark velvet as another gift from Grandpa Happi, then picked up her mother's panties after giving the others in the alcove a quick pat to let them know she wouldn't ignore them in favor of her new acquisition.

Quickly dropping into an almost meditative state again, she was startled out of it and nearly her skin as she heard a voice exclaim, "Kasumi Tendo! What are you doing!" Landing on the headboard of her bed after her startled leap, she panted for a moment, her heart hammering in her chest.

One arm wrapped around a bed post, the little girl looked at her mother wide-eyed and instinctively pushed her other arm behind her, the pair of panties clutched tightly in her small hand.

A touch more calmly, Kimiko Tendo said, "Kasumi, show me what you have in your hand."

However, all Kasumi did at that was shake her head, the words of Grandpa emphasizing that this was their secret running through her mind. He had said that Daddy didn't like secret treasures for some reason and while she didn't think that applied to Mommy, since she had so many of them it still wouldn't be secret if she found out. Having a _secret_ treasure was half of the fun, though she would love her silky friends even if they weren't secrets.

Asking a third time, her mother said, "Kasumi, your hand, now."

At this, Kasumi abruptly smiled and feeling very tricky indeed, opened her hand, letting the pair of panties slide down the wall and behind the headboard before pulling her hand out and displaying it to her mother empty. "I don't have anything in my hand, Mommy."

Unfortunately, this didn't seem to please the older woman and she strode forward with a stern expression on her face. This caused her daughter to glance down to where her mother would end up and she abruptly panicked. Jumping forward, she took two steps on her bed and launched herself at her mother, her arms wrapping around Kimiko's head and her legs around her chest. The abrupt impact made her mother stagger and she probably would have fallen if she hadn't backed into a dresser.

Hands reaching up to her daughter, Kimiko pulled on her and Kasumi responded by hugging her even more tightly. The little girl's gaze turned back to her alcove, sitting wide open for anyone to see and she whimpered slightly, scared of what would happen if her Mommy saw it. Her reaction to one of her silky friends hadn't been encouraging.

Still, while her father called Kasumi his 'little prodigy' and Grandpa Happi said she would be a true heir of Anything Goes one day, she was still only six years old and it was little more than a few minutes before Kimiko finally wrenched her daughter off of her head.

Holding the defeated girl out at arm's length, though she was really getting a bit too old for that, she just shook her head at first. Her breath was ragged after the unexpected exercise. "What in the world has gotten into you, Kasumi. You've always been a bit rambunctious, but this is a bit beyond the..."

Screwing her eyes shut, Kasumi hoped that the reason her mother had trailed off wasn't that she had seen what was behind the pair, but the next few words out of Kimiko dashed that hope.

"Kasumi, why do you have adult panties in your room? I am not sure whether the fact that some of them are mine is worse or the fact that some of them _aren't_ mine!"

As her mother set her back on the bed, she tried to look away, but her mother gently pushed her chin until she could meet Kasumi's eyes again. "From the beginning, Kasumi. And no lies or leaving anything out to protect the guilty."

So Kasumi told her, a bit hesitantly at first, but then more openly and happily. She really had wanted to have someone else to talk to about her silky friends since Grandpa wasn't around very often, but the secret had been very exciting. She had thought about telling Nabiki, but she wasn't very good at keeping secrets at all. She always blabbed to prove she knew it and impress everyone around her. Akane was still almost a baby, so wouldn't work either. Mommy would be good though, since she had her own collection already even if she didn't care for it as well as she should. Kasumi could help her with that though.

Unfortunately, lost in her stories, she didn't look up at her mother to gauge her reaction until nearly the end and when Kasumi did glance up at her mother, the expression of absolute rage in her eyes stopped her cold. Shrinking away from her, the only thought on her mind was that she hadn't seen her mother this angry since Daddy had destroyed almost an entire wall of the dojo practicing a new, really scary attack.

Even with that, she wasn't really expecting it when her mother took her friends without so much as asking her, locking her in her room as she left despite Kasumi's pounding on the door and desperate wailing. It was an hour later that the door finally clicked open and Kimiko strode back in, this time with a hammer and nails, closing Kasumi's secret hiding place permanently.

Having done this, Kimiko turned to her daughter and said, "You will not call panties, bras, or any other lingerie 'silky friends' or 'lovelies' or anything else like that in front of me or anyone else from now on, Kasumi Tendo. If you do, I will give you something to really cry about. It will hurt me as much as you, but I won't let Happosai corrupt my precious daughter."

"You will also no longer be taking lessons with your father in Anything Goes. I will not have that degenerate school taught to my daughters. I don't expect I can convince your father to stop practicing it entirely without revealing this and we will not be talking about this with anyone. I do not want to lose him." Standing up, she closed her eyes, her expression pained, but eventually firm. "I expect you down to dinner shortly, daughter."

Tears streaming down her cheeks as she sobbed incoherently, Kasumi simply ignored her mother, curled up on her bed. When she didn't come up to force her down and her crying had calmed, leaving her little hiccupping coughs and watery eyes, she did climb down from her bed though. Moving across her room, she locked her door, then moved over to the edge of her bed and reached behind the headboard as far as she could, finally just barely snagging the bit of fabric that was lying there.

Crawling back into bed, she hugged the satin cloth to her chest and sniffled, her mother's presence in the cloth not quite as comforting as it had been just a few hours earlier, but better than not having any of her friends at all. 

* * *

"Mother said I wasn't to see Grandfather again after that, but he still showed up with presents for me from time to time, at least until Father and Uncle Saotome sealed him away. Hiding places were quite a bit harder to find, though." Looking fond, Kasumi reminisced for a few minutes about the "games" of "hide the lingerie" that she inadvertently played with her mother while Ranma just twitched. "I did miss practicing Anything Goes quite a bit, of course, but Mother found me other things to do to keep my mind off of it."

"Like...?" Ranma was kind of wondering how you went from a panty-loving hyperactive martial artist child to a... well, Kasumi.

"I did eventually forgive her and she would bring me along as she did the chores, everything except for the laundry since I wasn't allowed to touch that."

"She also arranged tea parties with Dr. Tanaka, of course. Those were ever so much fun and we spoke about all sorts of things. Panties and bras, as well as some about pantyhose, though those aren't quite so nice, of course. For some reason, those stopped shortly after Dr. Tanaka finally saw that he should actually start his own collection, rather than convincing me to give up mine." Kasumi looked a little sad about this, but she brightened a little as she continued.

"After that, of course, was the Zen monastery that she signed me up for when I was almost seven. I would go there every day after school and while at first I wasn't very into it, tending the garden and meditating became very peaceful." She smiled. "That was when I learned to be quiet enough to hear the calls of neglected lov-err, panties just like Granpa said I could. I was ever so proud of that, but for some reason Mother decided it was time for a change again after I told her."

Holding up her hand, she ticked off her fingers slowly and said, "I think we went back to tea parties and play dates at that point with Dr. Smith, then Dr. Fujioka, and finally Mr. Hashimoto, who was ever so good with horses. He was the gentlest person I think I ever met. Dr. Fujioka was also the one who pointed out that I was being very biased in only loving female undergarments, but for some reason when I thanked him for his insight a few days later he turned around and told Mother that he gave up. I was very disappointed, but he never came back."

"After that was Sensei Ito's Buddhist temple and the Shinto shrine where I was signed up as a miko for a time. The Temple of the Way was very nice, unfortunately, Sensei Ito said I couldn't stay when I wouldn't give up my collection to the poor. He was very nice about it though. I didn't get to stay at the Shinto shrine for very long at all, unfortunately. Mother said that Master Hino was a bad influence when I said he reminded me of Grandfather Happosai. It was very instructional though and he had the cutest grandchild who used to follow me around."

"I think the last place Mother sent me to was a Taoist Temple, by that time I was nearly 10 though and was beginning to catch on to the fact that she was looking for someone to stop me from rescuing the poor, mistreated undergarments of the world..."

As Ranma listened, he noted Kasumi fiddling with her hair tie, twisting it around, stroking it and it slowly dawned on him that despite the calm, slightly upbeat tone in which she was telling her story and answering his questions that she was nervous, possibly more nervous than he was right now. This was the longest conversation he could remember having with Kasumi or for that matter could remember even seeing her family have with her.

"...of course, that was also when Mother started showing me how to cook-"

"Ya know," he finally said, interrupting her bluntly, "you don't need to worry about me tellin' people." Not that he was sure how he would even bring the subject up. 'Hey, Akane, did you know your sister sleeps with your panties?' He was pretty sure that would be a guaranteed beating if anything would.

Blinking, Kasumi trailed off and her fidgeting slowed. "Really? But... aren't you, umm... well, upset with me?"

Taking a moment of his own in silence, Ranma finally replied, "I'm not even sure I know how to respond to that, Kasumi. Not sure I could get mad at ya if I tried. I don't think anyone could. Little, umm, startled, I'll admit and not sure what to think about all this, but I'm not mad."

"I'm done with questions fer now though. I was originally findin' you to offer to help out around the house. That still stands. Whatever you want, just ask and I'll do what I can."

Her forefingers pressed together, Kasumi asked hesitantly, "Could we... talk as part of that? It's been an awfully long time since I could talk to anyone about my, umm, hobby."

"Uhh..." Ranma looked at the big, doe-eyed expression that Kasumi was giving him, then sighed and said, "I'm not very good with words, but sure, why not. Just... no more for today, 'kay?"

Nodding quickly, Kasumi smiled happily, her eyes actually tearing up a bit. It was definitely enough to push Ranma way beyond his comfort zone, so he grabbed her hand without another word and started pulling her out of the equipment shed.

As he slid open the door, nearly charging out of the little stand alone building beside the dojo in his haste to get back to situations he understood he had a brief flash of impending doom, then noticed most of the rest of the Tendos scattered across the yard or on the balcony calling Kasumi's name. Glancing back at the still sniffling Kasumi, her clothes a little mussed and dirty from the two quick trips through the shed, he turned slowly and saw the eyes of Soun and Akane resting on him.

Looking back once more, he hastily let go of Kasumi's hand and started to say something, when Soun spoke in a very reasonable, calm, and thus utterly terrifying voice. "Ranma, my boy, we were just looking for you. You see, we needed an explanation for something. The bathroom door has been forced open and Kasumi's occupied placard was lying on the ground with my daughter missing. You can understand if I was quite distraught and so I turned to Akane, who said that you had, in fact just been asking about my daughter's whereabouts."

"I, of course, would not have dreamed of accusing you of anything coarse, however, Akane-" At this point, Ranma managed to barely turn his gaze away from the insanely disturbing tableau of a stoic, unemotional Soun Tendo, shifting his eyes a hair to the right, just barely enough to see his fiancee. If that was actually foam near her mouth like it appeared, that meant she was literally frothing at the lips. He wondered absently if that level of anger was actually communicable.

"Ahem." Ranma's gaze snapped back to Soun like a rabbit watching a snake about to strike. "As I was saying, Akane was a bit less trusting. I reassured her though. Your fiancee is no doubt looking for Kasumi's attacker as we speak, I said. So tell me son, will I find whoever assaulted her unconscious in the shed behind you?"

Ranma considered his answer for a moment. Thought about the likelihood of his surviving Akane and Soun inside closed confines. Thought about how often anyone had ever believed anything he had to say when a woman was involved. And then he did what any red-blooded scion of the Saotome clan would.

He ran like he had never run before.

* * *

At the sound of the camera shutter and the burst of light from the flash going off, Ranma must have jumped a good twenty feet in the air. Nabiki grinned wickedly as he crashed back to the earth in a tangle of twitching limbs.

"Not feeling quite up to par, Saotome?"

Shaking the polaroid in her hand, she examined it for a moment as her sister's fiance groaned inarticulately in response to her question. Caught in the act of sneaking back into the Tendo compound, Ranma's shirt and pants were shredded to the point that they looked like an exotic dancer's outfit- covering only the naughtiest portions of his anatomy all the while disguising the full body bruising that was more obvious now that he was spread out on the ground.

Shaking her head in regret, she flicked the photo at the nearly unconscious boy and said, "That one's all yours, Saotome. My sister said you helped out while she was doing the laundry, so you're off the hook for today. From Daddy and Akane as well, incidentally- Kasumi said that she had been lying on the ground in an odd position and you rushed in apparently to save her."

"I look forward to hearing about your exploits tomorrow, though. If they're anywhere near as amusing as today's then this may almost be worth the lost revenue just in amusement value."

"I would tiptoe around Daddy and Akane though- all Kasumi would do is blush when they asked about the shed."

Ranma just groaned in response, but his hand snaked out to grab the photo nonetheless.

Her job done, Nabiki turned and walked back inside, whistling to herself. At this rate, she likely wouldn't even need to talk to Uncle Saotome. Ranma wouldn't survive too many more 'help sessions' with Kasumi. 

* * *

Author Notes: Not sure if it is ever stated in the Manga or Anime as to how long ago Happosai was sealed, but I typically go with about a decade which puts Kasumi at about 8 or 9 when he would have dissappeared from her life. Timing for this story will be fairly apparent next chapter I think. 


	2. Chapter 2

Watching Ranma carefully as he moved around the family room with Kasumi, Akane frowned suspiciously at her fiancee. While Kasumi was beyond reproach and would never lie, she also wouldn't say anything about why she and Ranma had been in the shed yesterday. Ranma wouldn't have run if he hadn't done anything and while her sister had said he hadn't made any moves on her (though not in those words), she was so innocent she might not recognize his perversions if they weren't blatant.

So she had taken it upon herself to guard Kasumi. She fingered the shinai that she was holding, but she was beginning to get a little bored truthfully. All they were doing was cleaning the house. Ranma had no doubt volunteered out of guilt for molesting her sister.

For some reason, her fiancee seemed more relaxed than her sister in her presence. Kasumi kept looking back at her nervously, as if checking to see if she had left yet. She had offered to assist her too, but Kasumi had gone very pale when she asked and that made her remember the promise that she had made to Nabiki and her last time she tried to help out around the house. The memory made her scowl. Just because she broke a few vases and accidentally bumped her mother's shrine... she could be more careful, but they wouldn't even let her try anymore. It wasn't like anything too bad had happened. The fire had been put out almost immediately.

Still, based on what she had seen so far, she supposed she could let Ranma off the hook for now. She finally stood up, not able to take the boredom anymore and said, "Kasumi, if Ranma makes even one move on you, make sure you scream. I'll be right upstairs and can be down in a second."

The idea seemed to startle Kasumi, despite the fact that both Akane and her father had been pressing her on this since last night, and she glanced over at Ranma before turning back to her sister. "I'll be fine, Akane." When Akane simply stood still and stared at her, she finally sighed and said, "If Ranma, umm, 'makes a move' on me I will yell for you."

The comment made her blush for some reason and that in turn made Akane think about what she had been implying. Really, what had she been thinking, even Ranma wouldn't think about Kasumi like that. Her sister was practically a saint, you just didn't do those... things, to someone as sweet and innocent as Kasumi.

* * *

For a minute, Ranma was tempted to call out to Akane and get her to come back, but it wasn't like he was going to be able to avoid being alone with Kasumi forever. Turning to the older woman, he found her avoiding his gaze, her cheeks still scarlet.

"Ahh, don't worry about Akane, Kasumi. I think we're almost done here, did you want help with lunch or anything?"

Nodding briefly, Kasumi swept into the kitchen and Ranma frowned for a minute. The odd sense of calm and peace that usually accompanied Kasumi's presence was... not missing exactly, but definitely disturbed. Following the girl, he watched her putter around the kitchen for a moment longer, then asked, "You're actin' kind of strange, Kasumi. It isn't what Akane said, is it?"

As she turned back to face him, Ranma noted the little nervous gesture he had caught yesterday, her hand stroking the scrunchy she had used to tie her hair up. Which Ranma suddenly noticed was a bit... no, couldn't be. If Kasumi was attempting to keep things at all quiet about her... "hobby", she couldn't possibly be tying her hair up with a pair of panties.

"Well, maybe a little. It's silly, isn't it? It's just that it's been some time since a boy actually acted like that around me."

Blinking, Ranma said, "Umm... what about Dr. Tofu?"

"Dr. Tofu?" Kasumi blinked. "What about him?"

"He was crazy about ya, Kasumi. Not sure why he left, but he'd practically, no, he'd actually go nuts just cause you were in the same room."

"Oh, that." Kasumi blushed again, her hands creeping together. Ranma grabbed the knife she was holding in one of them and took over on cutting the vegetables for lunch. "I'm afraid that was, well, I don't think it was me, exactly. Well, it was, but it had more to do with a reaction of sorts that he had to well, my, umm... hobby." Glancing around the room, she said, "I actually run a little neighborhood service in order to bring in a little money and, umm, add a little to my collection." The last bit was said quickly, her eyes darting to the door.

"When I was 13, only a year or two after mother died, I started taking in laundry from the neighbors. When Tofu moved in, he became one of my first customers..."

* * *

Looking around the kitchen, Kasumi beamed to herself. While it had been rough after Mother passed away, she finally felt as if she had a handle on the chores around the house. Her little... mistake... with Nabiki and Akane had ended up for the best, regardless of what the little voice in the back of her head said. She was sure whoever they ended up with would be more than happy to handle the housework after all.

While her schoolwork had suffered a little, and truthfully, had never been terribly good in the first place, she was certain Mother would be proud of what she had accomplished. She had cleaned the entire house, cooked breakfast and lunch, prepared for dinner, completed the shopping and even prepared Father's bath. Not that he particularly needed one, since he only rarely left his bed anymore and hadn't trained in ages.

Certainly all of that would be enough to offset the fact that she had taken over the laundry, regardless of what Mother's will had said. And the fact that she had explicitly forbidden her daughter from ever touching the laundry machine and hamper. Or her sisters' or parent's dressers. Made her promise on pain of, well... No need to go into that, even in her own head.

Still, it was a fairly impressive accomplishment for someone only a little bit more than 13 years old.

She really wouldn't have been able to do it without the training Mother had given her and she had very nearly adapted Master Bansho's teachings. The Zen of Cleaning and Cooking. She smiled to herself and made a note to write her old master about it. She wondered if he had been promoted to Master Wanshi yet.

And now, that left her the rest of the day to gather her collection, pamper it, and maybe even search a bit for Grandfather Happi's present to her. Squeezing her eyes shut, she carefully smoothed her excited expression back into a modest, pleasant one more in keeping with a well-bred young lady. Her family couldn't find out about this from her, that she _had_ promised and she intended to keep that promise.

Despite that, she still felt a touch of guilt at circumventing her Mother's true dying wish, regardless of how unreasonable it had been. She would just light another candle at her Mother's shrine, regardless of what Nabiki was saying about the cost. Perhaps... if she found a way to make some extra money maybe her sister would stop complaining about it.

That thought pleased her so much that she resolved to get to it first thing... right after the laundry.

It was several hours later that Kasumi left the laundry room, having carefully taken a quick shower and left enough of a mess in the bathroom to ensure it looked as if she had spent some time soaking.

Taking the final basket of laundry to her room with her, she closed and locked her door and then set it down on her bed. Her uniform and clothes she quickly placed in their proper place, then she pulled out her own underwear one at a time, giving each a little love before she placed it into its proper place. Finally, she pulled out the last item in the basket and laid down upon her bed with it.

Holding a pair of her Mother's panties up to the light and watching the shadows play over it, she brought it down to her chest, hugging it to herself, and felt at the chi that invested the fabric. Bypassing her own, carefully wrapped around Kimiko's to ensure it didn't dissipate, she basked in the gentle warmth of her Mother's presence as she thought about the problem of money.

Father said they didn't need to worry about it, but the amount they had coming in from investments and property was apparently only enough to maintain the Dojo and barely pay for food according to Nabiki. Her sister was very intelligent for a little girl of 11 and had taken over for Kasumi and Soun two months ago after the pair had spent several hours one night puzzling over the family accounts.

Truthfully, she was a bit relieved about that. Math was neither her's nor her Father's strong points and while she had felt that it was a good way to pay for her... hobby... with her Mother, Nabiki actually seemed to enjoy it. She was proud of her little sister and that recognition had seemed to finally break through Nabiki's own shell from the death of Mother. She doubted any of them would ever be quite the same, but perhaps with all three of them finally having accepted things they could begin working on Father.

That was another item that her mistake with Akane and Nabiki had worsened and was part of what made her feel so guilty. He had never really forgiven himself for breaking his promise to Kimiko, even if she had convinced him that she enjoyed the chores, regardless of what Mother had thought. Her Mother had never divulged the reason for her odd request to her husband, but Kasumi was not one to lie and even implying she knew the reason and it was incorrect without coming right out and saying it had left her feeling so dirty that she hadn't felt worthy of touching her collection for weeks afterwards.

Shaking her head, Kasumi tried to stop thinking about the past and concentrate upon her problem. Reluctantly, she folded up the pair of panties she was holding and forced herself to put them away. She was almost grown enough now that she could have worn them herself, but she kept them carefully segregated so as not disturb her parent's chi. She also had one pair of her Father's boxers that she prized, a relic from a time when he had been stronger. It was a reminder of what he could be again.

After she had slid the panel to her secret compartment shut, she stood, stretching and walked out of the room, unlocking her door and feeling much better. Making her way down to the family room, she was surprised to see Soun up and about, drinking a cup of tea as he read the paper and looked out over the koi pond, which was currently absent koi as they had not been cared for properly after her Mother passed away.

Looking over at her father, she noticed the "Help wanted" section of the newspaper lying discarded upon the table. That seemed like as good a place as any to start, so she knelt gracefully, her training in tea ceremony coming into play, and slid the section over to herself, flipping through it slowly.

The scene was apparently odd enough that when Akane skipped into the room, she stopped, watching her big sister apparently emulating their father with a confused look. Walking over, she leaned over Kasumi's shoulder, asking, "Whatcha reading, Big Sister?"

Smiling up at her little sister and pulling her around to sit on her lap, though she was nearly too old for that now, Kasumi responded, "I was just looking through the 'Help Wanted' section of the newspaper. I was interested in what other people do to make money."

This got a nod out of Akane and she leaned forward to look at the newspaper, her finger followed several of the classified articles then stopped on an advertisement. Suddenly getting excited, she exclaimed, "Hey, look! It's a dojo like ours!" Reaching over to pull on Soun's sleeve, she said, "Daddy, look, they're teaching martial arts! Can I go here? I wanta learn how to punch that stupid head Kenji in the nose. He's always mean to me and Yuri at school!"

Kasumi winced at this, looking down at the advertisement, but she surreptiously kept her father in her sight to see what his response would be. This wasn't the first time that Akane had asked to be trained, but it was the first time she recalled that the little girl had asked to train outside of Anything Goes. She was in the dojo pretending constantly and Kasumi thought she might have recovered the fastest of the three Tendo sisters simply because the little girl was able to "attack" her Mother's death in the safety of her imagination.

For a long moment, her father simply stared at his daughters and Kasumi shushed Akane when she began to squirm, clearly about to ask her question again. Finally, however, Soun set down the newspaper he was holding and stood, more life in his eyes than she had seen in more than two years.

"We have a perfectly good dojo here, Akane. I won't have my daughter learning another school. Come, let's see what you remember from when you were just a little child."

Watching the pair leave the room, her father somber, but with purpose in his steps, her sister running and yelling, Kasumi realized her eyes were a little damp and hastily wiped away the tears leaking down her cheeks. Smiling, she thought, 'Mother, we'll be alright now, won't we? It looks like little Akane's attacks finally broke through Father's walls. I hope you're proud of her.'

Wiping away the last of her happy tears, she glanced down at the newspaper again and wondered if it was a sign- several tear drops framed an advertisement for a laundromat. While they were looking for those 16 and above, the idea that it sparked... she thought that might work.

Looking at the printed sheet of paper, Kasumi tilted her head and read it again, wondering if it would be good enough.

 _Anything Goes Laundry Service_

 _Anything Goes Laundry will wash your clothes with_  
 _loving care, making sure that your precious possessions_  
 _are ready to wear for day to day or important occassions._

 _We offer the following prices:_  
 _500 yen per load_  
 _400 yen per load for a full month_  
 _200 yen per mile for delivery or drop off_  
 _and pick up your clothing._

 _Contact us at the Tendo Dojo, 092-4452-1433_

 _We hope to hear from you soon._

It wasn't very fancy, but she thought it might be enough for now. If she didn't get any calls, perhaps she could talk to Mrs. Tanaka, she worked at an office so she might know more about this kind of thing. In the mean time though... it was time to take Akane to the doctor.

She sighed. She had been very happy that her sister had gotten her father out of his shell and gotten him teaching again, even if it was only her and occassionally Nabiki. However, her littlest sister had been injured more times in the past week than in the previous two years. Nabiki had confronted her father about the hospital bills last night (which had been the cutest thing ever, even if it had sent their father back to bed crying) and as a result they were going to be trying a new chiropractor moving into the area rather than the emergency room where Soun had been running each time Akane was so much as scraped.

Kasumi had volunteered to take her little sister after her latest accident, since it wasn't too far and Soun still wasn't out of bed. She could also put up a few of her flyers after they were done.

Brushing her skirt off, she stood and made her way up to Akane's room. Knocking lightly, she opened the door and peered in. "Are you ready, Akane?"

"Yes, Kasumi." Akane looked miserable, not in any particular pain, but she suspected that Nabiki had been in lecturing again.

Smiling to take the sting out of the trip, she said, "Well, let's go then. Perhaps the new doctor will have a treat for you." She was certain he would eventually be quite happy to see her little sister, she suspected the Tendos were likely to be frequent patients. Though that was a bit mean, it wasn't Akane's fault that she was a touch... rambunctious.

Helping her sister to her feet, the 9 year old girl leaned upon her older sister rather heavily, clearly favoring her left leg. Kasumi did her best, but while she was tall for her age, she was not particularly strong. There would be no piggy back rides, but they were able to walk only a bit more slowly than normal.

All in all, it took perhaps fifteen minutes to cover the distance to the new clinic and it was fortunate that the Tendo Dojo was positioned close. The building itself was fairly large and was much like the Dojo, a combination of home and business, albeit without the extra land that the Tendos enjoyed.

A small banner on the clinic's sign welcomed new patients and those who had been coming to Dr. Fumi, identifying the new doctor as Tofu Ono. It was quite friendly and Kasumi quickly let herself in, holding the door for her little sister and calling out, "Hello? Is anyone there?"

While there was no sound, something moved in the hallway on the left and Kasumi quickly turned to face it, her heart skipping for a moment as a skeleton apparently leaned into the room.

"Oh My!" The mild reaction appeared to dissappoint the skeleton, as it seemed to slump, but if her response failed to please, Akane's ear-piercing scream didn't dissappoint. She swiftly found herself on the floor as her little sister tackled her, arms going around her waist.

The abrupt action made her lose her grip on her flyers and they flew up into the air, swirling lightly in a light breeze from the still open door. Moments later, an arm snatched one of the pieces of paper from the air and a young man stepped out from behind the wall. Hands moving swiftly, he moved through the waiting room with a measure of the grace she remembered from her Father prior to her Mother's death, never actually allowing one of the papers to land on the floor.

Another couple of seconds saw him in front of the pair of sisters with a twinkle in his eyes, though he simply said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize there was a child in here as well."

Crouching to put himself on Akane's level, he asked, "Do you forgive me?"

After a nudge from her, Akane looked back over her shoulder, her eyes looking at the skeleton now draped over one gi-clad arm. Her examination prompted another action from the doctor and he propped up the skeleton and said, "Betty says she is sorry for scaring you as well."

This prompted a certain measure of thought from Akane and she finally turned around and said, "Awright. But I want a lollipop for it." The last was said with an audible expectation that she was pushing her luck.

Her answer just provoked a smile, however, and the young man extended a hand to Kasumi, pulling her and Akane up in one quick motion. "I think I can scrounge something up for that. My name is Dr. Tofu, incidentally. What can I do for you two young ladies."

Kasumi smiled back and said, "I'm afraid my sister has twisted her ankle, I was hoping you could take a look at it."

Nodding professionally, the young doctor helped Kasumi to bring Akane further into the clinic, chatting idly and asking for details of what had happened. As he worked, she noted that he very deftly elicited information about the Tendo's in general, their mother's passing coming out quickly from Akane and Kasumi herself finally confessing the reason they had started coming to the clinic- namely the hope of more reasonable prices.

Eventually, this led to Tofu nodding towards the flyers that Kasumi was again carrying. "I noticed your fliers there. Do you take in much laundry?"

"Oh, well, not very much." Honesty prompted a bit more from her after a moment. "None yet, actually. I was just going to put these up today to see if anyone would be interested. It's probably not something that would appeal to many people."

"I'm certain some will be, in fact, I can guarantee it. I was actually hoping to find something like this."

Clasping her hands in front of her, Kasumi said, "Really?"

"Certainly. As a single bachelor, I know almost nothing about doing laundry or most other chores really. If you are willing to handle the sheets, towels, and other items from my patients that are not dangerous I would be happy to be your first customer.

"In fact... how would you like to barter a bit? I'll waive your copay for treating injuries when you and your family come in if you're willing to take on the rather large piles of clothing and linens I seem to be accumulating." Glancing at her inquisitively, his eyebrow raised, Tofu seemed quite serious, though Kasumi couldn't help but think that this deal seemed like it was rather lopsided in her own favor. Still, she might as well take a page from Akane's playbook and be a little daring.

"That sounds good, if you would be willing to put up one of my posters in your waiting room?"

Laughing, his rich baritone amused, Tofu said, "I think I can do that, if you return the favor and leave a few of my cards in your dojo."

Nodding, Kasumi held out a hand to seal the bargain, and the doctor took it solemnly. After that, she and Akane finished making a quick round of the neighborhood, her sister's ankle feeling better almost immediately after Dr. Tofu was finished with it. She dropped off her flyers, then stopped by the clinic for the first load of laundry and her and her sister headed home.

While excited to tell her story, she forced herself to check on dinner first and then took the new load of clothing into the bathroom. Much of it was swiftly sorted out and thrown into the washer, but five pairs of underwear got set aside for hand washing.

It was only right after all. Very professional.

Turning away from the first new set of silky friends she had encountered since almost getting caught rescuing a few of her friends from Mrs. Yamaguchi's clothes line last year she made it almost three steps before she paused, her hands quivering. Leaning forward, so she wouldn't need to move any further from the undergarments, Kasumi swiftly spun the washing machine setting to normal, hit the power button, and then retreated back to the counter.

Her guilt assuaged for the moment, Kasumi let her hands trail over each of her new silky friends, feeling the controlled chi within... it seemed she hadn't been far off. Dr. Tofu really was a very good martial artist and he seemed to be a nice man.

As her hands seemed to move almost of their own will, scooping up all five of her new lovelies and clasping them to her chest, Kasumi felt a fit of giggles coming on and immediately covered her mouth. She would do her best to keep the secret her mother had tasked her with, regardless of how much she would have loved to share this with her family.

* * *

"Wait, hold on... you actually stole panties? You stole panties from Mrs. Yamaguchi?" Ranma held up a hand about even with his eyes, his other hand still holding a bowl of cut vegetables and said, "About so tall, short dark green hair, glasses, teaches dance and art at Furinkan?"

Kasumi nodded with a blush. "Her hair was long when I went to school though and she had just graduated."

Ranma glanced back over his shoulder towards the stairs that Akane had retreated up and pitched his voice even lower, somehow convinced that his fiancee was going to hear this despite the extremely low tone he and Kasumi were already using.

"Daisuke and Hiroshi are constantly going on about her. They talk about her almost as much as they do my fiancees. She's- no, wait, I'm getting distracted. You stole panties." He paused for a moment, considering the pink, glowing cheeks of the eldest Tendo sister. "Well, from someone other than your family. Which really shouldn't need to be excluded. I'm beginning to question your reputation here, Kasumi."

As she looked up at him, her eyes opening wider in surprised innocence, she asked, "What reputation is that, Ranma?"

"Well, umm..." Glancing over the eldest daughter of the Tendos, Ranma frowned for a moment. He was beginning to think this was something that Kasumi had been put up to by Nabiki, no doubt without her knowledge of the stakes. Though she did have an... odd sense of humor, at least the few times it had shown itself, like just after they had met and Akane had displayed her tomboy tendencies for the first time.

He also had just made his deal with Nabiki when he first found out about Kasumi. There wasn't really any time for Nabiki to set something like this up.

Still, he needed to confirm some of this with someone other than Kasumi, just for his own peace of mind. Her family wasn't really an option, but, maybe... Handing the bowl of vegetables to her after grabbing a handful he said, "Never mind, I gotta go, Kasumi. Just remembered something Pop asked me to do."

"Oh, well, perhaps later then?"

"Yeah, sure. After lunch, maybe you can finish your story."

The smile that she directed at him made Ranma feel like a heel for lying to her, but he quickly jogged out of the pristine kitchen. There was really nowhere in the house that wasn't clean, but Kasumi's domain was something else. The fridge practically sparkled, the floor was spotless, and the cupboards shone.

After he was out in the yard, he immediately leaped up to the wall, crouching there for a moment, then springing to the next roof. Repeating this, interspersed with a casual loping pace across the rooftops themselves, he thought about his plan of attack.

If he could track down Tofu at least briefly, maybe he would answer a few questions, even if he had always been kind of reticent about talking about Kasumi. Heck, it could even be done over the phone, if he could find a number. He figured there had to be something at the Doc's clinic indicating where he had gone for his patients. Tofu hadn't been gone that long.

Finally arriving at the two story building, he noted the sign out front still hadn't been removed and hopped over the locked gate. Checking the front door, he found it locked, just like it had been last time he was here when Akane had noted Tofu's absence. This time, however, he jogged back over to the gate and glanced down the street either way to make sure no one would be going past.

Since it appeared he wasn't going to be interupted, he moved back to the door, pulling a couple of small lengths of metal from the bracers he was wearing. While his father had tried to shield him from the the less than noble arts that he knew with a lot of lip service to honor, valor, and the other virtues of a true martial artist, he had still picked up a few things from him on the training trip that he wasn't intended to have learned. He tried to avoid using them, because somehow, his father actually had managed to pound some of those lessons home, but it wasn't like he was actually stealing anything.

Inserting the two lengths of metal into the lock barring his entry, it only took a few minutes before he finally heard the tumblers inside click and quickly opened the door and let himself in. He had seen Genma pull that off in less than thirty seconds when he was sufficiently motivated, though more so when he was younger and his father thought "cover your eyes, Ranma" would be sufficient to hide his secrets. He honestly wasn't sure whether the old panda still kept his hand in at this point. He hadn't caught him at it in ages.

As he closed the door behind himself carefully, he turned to the waiting room and frowned slightly. It hadn't been clear from the outside, but it didn't look like anything had been taken. As he moved through the room with the stacks of magazines that seemed to be common to all doctors, he peered into the main examination room and saw the same thing. Posters still lined the walls, books and scrolls occupied the shelves- the only thing that was missing was Betty.

Abandoning the ground floor, Ranma made his way up the stairs into Tofu's home. Here there was a bit more sign that the doctor had been back. Drawers were pulled out in the bedroom and enough clothing appeared to be missing that he probably wouldn't be going without anything- aside perhaps for underwear. A pile of perhaps twenty pairs were lying in a suspicious heap on the floor. As he crouched down beside them, nose wrinkling slightly, something caught his eye about the dresser, however.

While most of the drawers were pulled out and emptied haphazardly, the last drawer appeared to have jammed- it was partially open, but not enough to actually make the contents accessible. And those contents appeared to be a series of books oddly.

While it took a little while and he wasn't entirely sure he hadn't broken the dresser, Ranma finally got the drawer open and pulled out one of the books- apparently a diary. Pulling out the newest looking one, hoping to find an indicator of why Dr. Tofu had left, he flipped through it quickly and was dissappointed to find it ended last year apparently.

He hadn't seen anything indicating a forwarding address or new phone number downstairs either and he wasn't sure where else to try. Maybe the Doc's batty mother? He didn't know how he'd get in touch with her though. He didn't see any convenient jotted notes with a hotel phone number or something like the detective on that show Nabiki liked was always finding either.

Though...

Glancing at the other diaries, he wondered absently how far they actually went back. Reading someone's diary was pretty shady, but... He hadn't had a sibling's diary to read as a kid and you were probably supposed to invade a few people's privacy during your life, right? You wouldn't learn your lesson about respecting others without breaking the rules a few times.

Pulling the diaries out one at a time, it didn't take long to find approximately the right time frame some six or seven years ago. Flipping quickly through the early parts of the diary that seemed to focus on the end of Dr. Tofu's schooling, he finally found the part he was looking for:

 _June 13th,_  
 _6 patients on my first day; four elderly and two children_  
 _Older of the two children, Kasumi, was quite engaging and_  
 _very mature for her age. Is apparently trying to make extra_  
 _money and is taking in laundry, feel a touch guilty about the_  
 _deal I struck, but if it gets to be too much for her I will_  
 _pay her normal rates for the extra._

Well, that confirmed that part of Kasumi's story at least- he thought about stopping for a moment, but he was a bit curious about the doctor's reaction. He had a hard time imagining how Kasumi's collection could have caused the doctor to react like he was in love with her. Convincingly enough that it fooled his mother.

 _June 15th,_  
 _10 patients today; young family, two children, and 3 elderly_  
 _Kasumi and Akane were the children again, Akane already having_  
 _managed to injure herself again, poor child. Kasumi was_  
 _already done with my laundry as well and did an excellent job_  
 _of it. Tried to give her a tip, but she turned it down with_  
 _a guilty expression for some reason._

 _June 16th,_  
 _9 patients today; 5 elderly, 3 children, 1 middle aged_  
 _Akane was back again today, this time with her father rather_  
 _than Kasumi. Nabiki, the middle Tendo sister apparently, also_  
 _visited- cute kid, had a "contract" for me to sign with our_  
 _deal. Very earnest and cute. Kasumi showed up later to drop_  
 _off laundry- had a very embarassing reaction when she came in,_  
 _though not sure why._

 _June 30th,_  
 _15 patients today; 6 elderly, 2 children, 4 adults, 3 middle aged_  
 _Kasumi again, don't know what is wrong with me, but contemplating_  
 _extreme response. Would suspect myself of unfortunate urges if I_  
 _felt anything for any of my other young patients. Very difficult_  
 _to think while she is in the room though._

Flipping through other entries with Kasumi and the Tendo sisters, Ranma noted the regular pattern he was familiar with starting up. After a few months, Dr. Tofu seemed to talk more about blacking out and remembering very little rather than lamenting about his reaction to the young woman.

After skimming through a couple of years of the diaries, he found another set of interesting entries though.

 _March 21st,_  
 _9 patients today; 4 elderly, young couple (Takanaka), and Tendo sisters_  
 _Kasumi came in today, did not have typical reaction. Had first lucid_  
 _conversation with her nearly since we met. Hoping that this marks an_  
 _end to the unfortunate...reactions... that occur in her presence. She is_  
 _a very pretty young woman and has a surprising serenity about her for_  
 _someone so young, but nothing that would explain the past 2 years._

 _March 26th,_  
 _Weekend, so no patients. Had a visit by Kasumi though and a relapse_  
 _into the same "symptoms" I have had for the past few years. Don't know_  
 _what prevented the previous week, but seems more likely it is not simply_  
 _an unfortunate attraction to someone much too young._

Flipping through, Ranma read a number of additional entries where Tofu found the time to look into his problem with little luck. The doctor seemed to be busy enough that the research wasn't a regular occurrence, but he ended up tracking it down to Kasumi's chi. His own senses were refined enough that he was sensing it continuously no matter how far away she was and her presence exasperated that to the point where it just overwhelmed him. He hadn't figured out why the reaction took the form it had.

By the time Ranma reached his own arrival in Nerima in the diaries, the mentions of the behavior were back down to the occassional self-recrimination when Tofu found out about an injury that he caused as a result of Kasumi's presence. The doctor might still have been looking into it, but it wasn't noteworthy enough to jot down in his journal.

Dr. Tofu never seemed to tie it to the laundry that Kasumi still did for him for some reason, but based on what the eldest Tendo daughter had told Ranma and the hints Tofu had found, he assumed it had to be that.

Rising out of the cross-legged position he had taken for however long it had been that he was reading, Ranma stretched. Rotating his neck a couple times, a vertebrae releasing a satisfying pop, he looked over the pile of boxer shorts one more time. Whatever Tofu hadn't known last year, it seemed pretty obvious he had at least found a few more pieces of the puzzle after Happosai showed up.

...

By the time Ranma reached the Tendo dojo, lunch was long since over and Kasumi was no longer in the kitchen when he slipped in to steal any leftovers. Not really expecting any, he was pleasantly surprised to find a small container with the remnants hidden in the back of the fridge.

Pulling it out, he grabbed a pair of chopsticks and headed for the living room. Dropping to the floor, he reached out with one leg, his big toe just barely reaching the power button on the television. The show that was on didn't particularly interest him, but he didn't feel like changing the channel, so he left it on as background noise while he ate  
and thought.

While Tofu was still stronger than him in some ways, Ranma thought his skills had exceeded the doctor's in some areas. After Kasumi had told her little story, he had been able to identify the chi that was stored in his undergarments, albeit with a lot of in depth meditation in the dojo. It made him a bit uncomfortable knowing it was there, but nothing like what had happened to Tofu.

He wondered absently if his Pop was able to sense it. He had trained under the demon after all, he had to have picked up some of this crap. Then again, he had been "training" under Happosai for nearly three months now and he hadn't learned any of it. Soun and Genma had done their best to avoid that aspect of their Master and regardless of what he thought about their other skills, they were excellent at running away from their problems.

Truthfully, it could probably be kind of useful. The Doc had always known when people were coming and had known how to hide his presence like nothing else. Kasumi was a little like that herself. He had always put it down to good ears, but apparently it was just really intense chi training. A bit specialized, but it seemed to work.

Though come to think of it...

Ten minutes later, Ranma found himself staring out at the garden. Kasumi was watering the garden, her back to him as she held the hose and hummed gently under her breath. This was a really, really bad idea, but he would accept the pounding that he was sure was going to come out of this with good grace. It was worth it to try and find a weakpoint in the defenses of the Grandmaster of Anything Goes Martial Arts.

Not wanting to risk his curse giving him away by forcing Kasumi to turn around and spray him at the last minute, which he was sure would happen if he was to venture anywhere near someone with a running hose, Ranma made a quick detour to the kitchen and returned to watching Akane's oldest sister with slightly damp hair.

Satisfied she was still engrossed in her task, the boy turned girl snuck out of the house, moving with as much stealth as possible when walking across an open yard. Grinning as she ended up right behind the taller girl, Ranma said in a light, airy tone, "Boo!" and tapped Kasumi on the shoulder at the same time.

The reaction was a bit more extreme than she had expected. Kasumi let out a piercing scream and must have jumped at least a foot in the air while attempting to turn around and see what was behind her. It was possibly the least graceful Ranma had ever seen her and she was forced to act quickly as the hose tangled around the older girl's legs and she began to fall backwards.

Leaping forwards, Ranma managed to catch Kasumi around the waist, her flailing arms providing little opportunity to gain a hold. As water sprayed over the pair, the young martial artist found herself in a death grip, slightly bent over with Kasumi's arms wrapped tightly around her neck as she hung in her arms.

"Umm... sorry?" Ranma said, her voice a little muffled.

Her only answer at first was Kasumi's chest heaving as the young woman caught her breath and stopped screaming, apparently having finally realized who it was. Finally though, she said hesitantly, "Ranma?"

Ranma nodded at first, then realized exactly where that put her face and said, "Yeah, it's me, sorry about this." She carefully ignored the blush that was creeping into Kasumi's cheeks.

"Are you, umm, practing some new stealth technique from your father?"

"Not exactly..." Ranma hedged, then finally responded with a blush of her own and said, "I'm kind of, well, going commando. Just wanted to well, see if it... Well, it was a dumb idea." Though, given that it had apparently worked, might be worth a try on Happosai.

"Going what?"

"They're, that is the things that you like, they're sort of... missing." Ranma finally replied after a lengthy pause.

"Oh. Oh!" Kasumi glanced down at the damp clothing plastered to Ranma and her own, then said, "I never really thought about how much I rely on that. It was a rather clever of you to figure that out just from my stories."

"Yeah, didn't mean ta scare ya like that, but I wanted to test it out a bit. Your chi senses are really cool, so I thought it might work on..."

Ranma trailed off as she noted a gradually increasing sense of warmth from above, not unlike the sun at high noon. "Speaking of chi, I'm pretty sure there's enough to warm Tokyo in the middle of winter coming from above me. I'm guessing Akane's here?"

A smile on Kasumi's face with a hint of amusement was his immediate answer, but she simply said, "I'm afraid so. I could try to explain if you'd like."

"No, that's okay." She brushed off the offer, pulling Kasumi into a more stable position standing straight up then carefully stepping away from the safe haven she represented. "I was pretty much expecting at least as much when I decided to try this. Better to just take my lumps I think."

"Good night."

"Good night, Ranma."

* * *

Sighing with aggravation, Akane stomped back to her bedroom, having deposited the crumpled pretzel that was Ranma back in her own room.

Honestly, even as a girl. Ranma was a world class pervert. And with Kasumi of all people! No one touched Kasumi, not even Happosai!

Wiping her head, she let another sigh out as her hand came away damp. Glancing at the nice clean bedding that Kasumi had just replaced today, she thought about just going to bed anyway, but finally walked over to her dresser. Even before she pulled out the drawer, she knew what she would find.

The little trinkets that she had placed in her underwear drawer as a note so that she would be warned if someone had been in it were all placed neatly on top of the dresser. And when the drawer was pulled open her underwear had been rearranged. Again.

She supposed she shouldn't complain. Should be used to it really, given how long it had been going on, but it still annoyed her a little sometimes. Particularly with what Kasumi had been going through from Ranma, she should cut her some slack honestly. She had once attempted to talk to her sister about this, to try and direct her to some other type of cleaning or organizing as a release. As soon as she stared into the wide, guileless eyes of her oldest sister though the words just wouldn't come.

Oh well. She grabbed the top pair of panties, a bra, and then pulled a night gown out of another drawer and headed for the bathroom. A quick shower, then it was time for bed. At least tomorrow Ranma would be in school with her, so he couldn't molest Kasumi during the day if he tried.


	3. Chapter 3

Soun smiled at his friend, shrugging slightly in response to the question he hadn't quite caught. He had other things on his mind at the moment and was sure that Genma was aware of that and wouldn't hold it against him.

"Knight takes Gold General." Saotome grimaced in response to the move, studying the board after it was complete with a certain measure of shrewd cunning in his eyes. Reaching for his Rook, he placed a finger on the wooden tile, then paused. Shaking his head ruefully, he moved his hand over his Silver General and shifted it instead to the meagre pile of captured pieces beside his side of the board.

As his friend placed his piece, Soun grinned widely, seeing his victory writ large in the desperate move.

"You're on the ropes now, my friend."

A sly grin crossed Genma's face and he said, "Though not so literally as you, of course."

This elicited a scowl from Soun and he once more tested the bindings around his fingers, wrists, elbows, knees, and even his toes. Saotome knew his strengths and weaknesses too well. Wriggling, he couldn't find a bit of slack anywhere and the blood rushing to his head as he dangled from the ceiling joist was beginning to make him a bit light headed truth be told.

He forced out a chuckle at the joke to replace the scowl and said, "I've calmed down a bit, you can surely see, Saotome. Perhaps just release me from the ceiling."

The more rotund man studied him with a careful eye. "It is admittedly hard to tell if the red cheeks are from you hanging upside down for an hour or rage. I recall that time we raided the Temple of the Beaten Monk with the Master though." Soun did as well, and he was lucky that he was as flushed as he was already- no need to let Saotome see that. Wandering off without freeing his friend after he had escaped the bonds that had tied them up had not been one of his brighter ideas. It had admittedly led to meeting Kimiko in a round about fashion, so he wouldn't change it for the world, but... there were things done to him there that still made him shudder. Deviants all of them. Not unlike Saotome's bastard son.

"Ahh, I recognize that gleam. Good show, Tendo, good show. Nearly had me there. We can wait a bit longer to ensure Ranma and Akane are firmly ensconced at school though. I'm sure another 8 hours or so will let you finally calm down." The burly man turned back to the shogi board, light gleaming on his glasses as he studied it.

Soun growled, but given that there was nothing he could really do about the matter at the moment anyway, he could bide his time. He couldn't kill Ranma anyway, even if he had molested his little girl. Molested the wrong little girl anyway. He supposed he would have to accept that some of that would be necessary after the boy married Akane. He didn't have to think about it though and certainly shouldn't have tales carried to him by his youngest about Kasumi being ravished in the middle of the yard with a garden hose.

He shuddered.

He pondered that question again for a few moments, but once again regretfully decided that The Plan did require the boy survive to marry his daughter. Akane would surely be a bit upset with him as well if he killed him, even if she agreed with his reasons.

Turning his attention back to the board, he frowned slightly. His pile of captured pieces was a bit on the small side for as well as he had been doing and he could have sworn Genma's King was at least three squares to the right. Or was it left? Upside down shogi was not going to make it into the handicap options for his and Saotome's games if he had any say in the matter.

"Gold General to 5d. Or is that 9e? Next to the- no, the other way. Yes, that's it."

* * *

Ranma yawned tiredly, absently massaging his left shoulder as he fought off sleep. You would think that after all this time he would have learned to either sleep with his limbs mangled or fix them more quickly. Apparently not though, at least if you went off the fact that he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep after getting himself straightened out last night.

His Pops hadn't been back all night, so he assumed he had been running interference with old man Tendo. He'd have to thank him, horrid as that was to think about.

While he had expected a beating for his stunt, Kasumi's scream had provoked positively awe-inspiring levels of rage from Akane. He was pretty sure he had taken worse in the past, but it had taken a combined effort from Ryouga, Mousse, and Kuno after they made some unfortunate assumptions about yet more compromising positions.

Eyeing the clock, he slowly counted down the seconds and had to stop himself from cheering as second period ended. He waited all of three seconds for Mr. Eda to leave the room before his head hit the desk and he had no idea when or if the other (more lenient) teachers made their way in, because he was already sound asleep.

He was shaken awake what seemed like minutes later and looked up blearily to find Daisuke tentatively shoving his shoulder with a chair. Scowling at his friend, he said, "What's the big idea?"

Shrugging, the boy said, "Thought you might be interested in lunch, but if that's not the case we can leave..."

"Nah, I'm up already. Let's go."

During the walk down the sterile corridors of Furinkan, Ranma tried to tease the remnants of his dreams back into something approaching order. Given how hard he went down in class, he was surprised he had any, but they had been surprisingly relaxing based on how his body felt and the few fragments left. It was already fading, but he seemed to recall himself wielding the hammer Akane kept in her room, a giggling Kasumi, and a Hiryuu Shoten Ha where the home maker was floating in the eye of a tornado filled with panties. Why that would be relaxing was beyond him, but his body didn't lie.

Reaching the lunch room, he and Hiroshi waited for Daisuke to get his lunch, then the three of them headed for the student seating. Akane didn't appear to be giving up her grudge, so he turned away from her and sat down at an empty table, swiftly bookended by his two friends. 'Here it comes,' he thought.

"So spill, Ranma. What'd you do to get Akane so pissed?"

"Yeah, she's beyond toasty."

"It's nothing, just a misunderstanding. I've been helping out Kasumi and there have been a couple, uh, situations that didn't look real good. But they weren't really anything ta worry about."

"Damn you, Saotome. Another one?"

The pair attempted to dog pile him, but he slipped under their attack with a practiced motion, pulling himself under the table and through to the other bench (making sure to grab Kasumi's bento on the way). Predictably, this caused the pair to crash into each other where he had been sitting, tangled together and glaring at him for his part in their current predicament.

Grinning, he said, "I don't know why you care anyway, the two of you seem perfectly happy together."

For some reason, the comment didn't seem to calm them and they attacked with a vengeance. As a result, it was almost two minutes later that he found himself sitting cross-legged on top of his collapsed friends. As they panted and tried to avoid hacking up a lung, he opened his bento and was pleasantly surprised to find it even bigger than normal with several of his favorites.

Maybe there were pluses to helping Kasumi out around the house beyond preventing Nabiki from taking advantage of him. He wasn't entirely sure they were worth the beatings he'd had in the last couple of days, but at least Kasumi seemed to appreciate it.

...

The rest of the day had been pretty uneventful and he found himself feeling fairly well rested when the final bell of the day rang.

Since Akane still wasn't talking to him, he had been able to take a quick detour to get a present for Kasumi. It didn't take long to find her in the laundry after that and he carefully knocked on the door this time. He also noted that the lock on the door had already been fixed, which was a little unusual- items that the martial artists who made up most of the household broke tended to stay broken for awhile while the family scraped up money for the fixes.

He supposed this one was a bit important to multiple people in the household though.

About to raise his hand and knock on the door again and wondering if Kasumi was actually bathing in there after all, he heard a voice call out, "Just a moment," then heard the sound of rustling noises, a brief rush of water, and some scraping.

Finally, the door opened and Ranma's eyes bugged out briefly as Kasumi, clad only in a few towels, opened the door.

"Ranma, how pleasant to see you. Were you going to help me with the laundry? You were? How very kind, please wait in here while I get dressed."

Gaping at the rapid spate of words that Kasumi had thrown out, he started to say, "Ahh, I was just-" but was then pulled into the combination laundry room and bathroom that served the Tendo and Saotome families. As Kasumi slid the door shut, he felt a quick chill down his spine and glanced backwards, but he couldn't detect anything.

The unchallenged mistress of all things domestic appeared to have eyes only for the small bag in his hands, which made Ranma smile wryly. "I guess there isn't much chance that my surprise is still a surprise. Here you go, Kasumi, I thought you might want them."

Quickly releasing the bag as it was nearly snatched out of his hands, he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly as Kasumi beamed up at him and hugged it to her chest. "I was very surprised when I felt them enter the house, Ranma. It's very sweet that you returned them to me, but, however did you get a hold of them? I thought they were lost forever."

"I stopped by Tofu's old place-"

"Oh, no. Were you hurt?"

Blinking, Ranma took another look to make sure that she wasn't pulling his leg, then answered Kasumi. "Ahh, no. No, I wasn't." He paused for a few minutes, trying to decide what to tell the eldest Tendo daughter, imagined a look not unlike a beaten puppy dog when he told her he thought she was lying to him about her 'hobby' and said, "I was just checking to see if Tofu might've come back, but he was still missin'. Anyway, I spotted those, so I picked 'em up and brought them home to you."

"That was very kind of you. Did you want to help me again today?"

"Yeah, sure, I got a bit before I need to train." Reaching for one of the cupboards he thought had the laundry supplies in it, he didn't really notice Kasumi's eyes widening in panic until the door popped open and a series of panties plus a bathing suit spilled out onto the washing machine. Recognizable panties.

Kasumi coughed, her hands fidgeting in front of herself. "Ahh- I can explain?" she said hesitantly as Ranma crossed his arms and gave her a distinctly unamused stare. The seconds on the clock ticked by as her cheeks heated up.

"You mean why these haven't been destroyed like I asked you to do the day of the fight with Happosai?" He probably should have expected this as soon as he found out about her hobby, but it honestly hadn't crossed his mind. "I thought you couldn't stand lying?"

"Well, yes, it's just..." She trailed off, not meeting his eyes, then tried again. "You see, the combination, umm... that is to say while I enjoy...male undergarments, panties, they're kind of a first love, you see, and... then your chi is, it's rather unique and...I really meant to do it, but..." She raised her eyes bashfully to his, widened slightly too far and glistening in entreaty as she added, "I just couldn't, please forgive me?"

It was touching, it was heart-warming, it was... completely not Kasumi and not really up to standards. He laughed instead of answering in the affirmative as she obviously wanted, and gave her a look, one eyebrow arched. "Puppy-dog eyes, Kasumi?"

She made a dissatisfied sound, her expression as close to annoyed as he had ever seen the eldest Tendo daughter. "It used to work on Father."

"How long's it been since you tried that intentionally though, Kasumi?"

"Ahh... a long time?" she hazarded, her eyes unfocusing as she thought back.

He grinned. "I kinda guessed."

She smiled more genuinely at him and tilted her head slightly. "I think the last time might have been a little mistake I made with Akane and Nabiki. Father was a little upset at the results, so I might have tried using it on him then. Only to reassure him though!"

* * *

Kasumi almost stomped her foot as her father once again shooed her out of the laundry room in favor of her little sisters, saying, "Don't you worry about it, Kasumi. I know you want to help, but you're a great help everywhere else and your sisters want to help too." He closed the door to the laundry room most of the way, but still wasn't quick enough to shut it before a little hand poked through.

"Do not!" yelled Nabiki as she tried to pull the door open again. "Let Kasumi do it if she wants, Akane's too small to reach the machine so I have'ta do all the actual work, it's no fair!"

Soun rolled his eyes and reached down to grab his middle daughter, picking her up and tucking her under one arm. She pouted and reached for Kasumi desperately, but when he abruptly let her swing down and caught her at the last moment she let out a shriek and was giggling hysterically by the time her father slid the door shut on Kasumi's own protests.

She felt like pouting herself, but she was too old for that at 11. She had been doing a perfectly fine job with all of the chores until Akane tattled on her. Inadvertently, but when her youngest sister had complained that her bento tasted like burnt crunchy bits, she had actually roused Father enough to check on who was doing what around the house.

Unfortunately, that had uncovered the fact that Kasumi had pretty much taken on everything, contrary to Kimiko's last wishes and that there might have been a couple of... errors or discrepancies in how things were getting done. For her age, she thought she had been doing awfully well though.

Nabiki chiming in a moment later to brag about her test and compare it to the one that Kasumi apparently hadn't hidden as well as she thought didn't help matters. She also couldn't quite claim to enjoy everything truthfully, since she was really only interested in the laundry, so her father thought she was just putting on a brave face and that had apparently been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Watching her father break down in tears over this had made Kasumi herself cry, which had triggered Akane and that night had just been a complete loss. Even Nabiki had the sniffles by the end of it and she didn't think she had seen her little sister cry since the funeral.

It just wasn't fair though. She didn't mind cooking, even if she was maybe, sort of, not quite as good as her Mom just yet, but the other cleaning wasn't very fun at all and if she couldn't do the laundry, then she couldn't take care of her collection, let alone acquire new si-err, expand it. Glancing around surreptiously, she rubbed her bottom as she felt a phantom swat and wrinkled her nose at the taste that ghosted over her tongue.

That was another thing that was entirely unfair.

She drew in a deep breath, then let it out again at the thought. Sensei Ito said that injustice was simply an opportunity to enact positive change in the world by identifying what you could effect and what you couldn't. She had been falling into an... an... obsessive spiral of self-interest and obsession. She smiled to herself at remembering that phrase. Now she just needed to think about this carefully and recognize what she could and couldn't change.

Walking away from the bathroom, she tried to center herself, but she hadn't quite mastered walking meditation when she had to leave the Temple of the Way. She would simply have to go to where she did her best thinking. A thought that put a bit of a skip into her step on its own, though she did try to keep to the smooth measured pace that she thought did so well with making her look grown up.

It was only a minute or two later that she was in her room with the door locked and her modest collection spread around herself. Dropping into seiza in the center of her bed, she let her hands trail over a silky brassier, several satin panties, and the simple knit cottons that she wore most frequently. She let her mind drift for awhile and then let herself think about her problems again.

First, she couldn't take proper care of her collection if Father insisted on locking the sliding doors in the changing room that hid the washer and dryer. Which he had after she snuck in for the third time.

Second, Nabiki and Akane didn't want to do the laundry but were being forced against their will. She ignored the little voice in the back of her head that said Akane had seemed perfectly happy to help out and Nabiki not quite as disgruntled as she claimed.

Third, she couldn't address... couldn't even think about her collection properly, because Mother had been much too firm about that sort of thing.

Fourth, cleaning was boring, tedious, and entirely not worth doing if she didn't get to do the laundry.

Fifth... she wasn't sure if there was a fifth, but surely there had to be something. Lists that only had four things on them were dumb. And bad luck as well. You either had three or you had five. Those were the right number of things for a list. So... the last problem was... she wasn't quite as good at cleaning, cooking, and the other chores as she could be. There! Hah, take that stupid list.

Her lips twitched into a happy grin, but she carefully smoothed her expression into the pleasant smile that Mother had liked so much when she demonstrated. Doing little things like that for her Mother gave her a warm glow in her stomach, because she knew that she couldn't give her the one thing she had really wanted. It was especially important now that-

She stopped that line of thought and went back to thinking about her problems after a few deep breaths. So now she had thought carefully about her problems and identified them logically. What could she control in the problems she listed? Father had not proved very open to her suggestions so that was probably not something that she could control in problems one and two.

Her thoughts seemed like something she should be able to control, but she got pretty guilty when... those phrases... crossed her mind, because Mother hadn't liked them. So that was hard to change. But hard wasn't the same as impossible. Maybe if she thought about it more... like why her mother hadn't liked them. She always seemed most concerned about her saying them- even with their games of keep away, she hadn't necessarily been punished, but... those words... always got a reaction.

Thinking about that, Kasumi paused. When Mother had sent her to see Sensei Ito, she had been very big on the Right Speech that he had talked about, but hadn't really talked much about the Right Thoughts. So maybe it was just _saying_ those words that was bad. If that was the case, then perhaps she could think them and it wouldn't matter.

Greatly daring, she firmly thought, "My silky friends." She almost bit her tongue at the sharp memory of a literal slap on the wrist in combination with a soapy taste, but... the guilt wasn't really there. So perhaps the right thoughts and the right words just weren't the same thing. She just needed to convince her traitorous memories that her way of thinking was the right way of thinking. Dr. Fujioka had been very firm about it being possible to change yourself in little increments and small actions. So she would just need to work on this.

Another smile blossomed on her face. This was easy. She was already down one problem!

Her little trip back in time also gave her a possible solution to her next problem when she thought about it. She had dealt with boring and tedious in the past when Mother first started finding her things to do instead of Anything Goes. The Zen Monastery had seemed very tedious at first, but after they had taught her to be quiet and listen, she had discovered that she could hear her... lovelies. She grimaced briefly, but determinedly ignored the sensations. So perhaps she could kind of make cleaning and things like that- the Zen of Chores, or the Three-fold Path of Houses. Something like that.

This was probably another one that would take a long time, which was a little disheartening. There had to be something she could do to help fix some of the problems... like, say, the first one maybe... just a little faster. Because she was pretty sure the answer to number five was practice makes perfect which was never fast. She sighed. That one was straight from her Mother and she didn't know anyone who knew more about taking care of the household.

Flopping onto her back and letting her legs kick out from under her, she abandoned meditation for the moment. Her legs were all prickly anyway, even though she was on her bed. She lay like that for a little while, stroking a few of the panties in her collection against her cheek while she thought the normal way. Most of her solutions came from the activities that her mother had arranged for her over the years, so it made sense that if there was something else available it might be in that as well.

She also had a number of books available, so that seemed to be her best bet. Nodding to herself, she sat up and started towards the shelf her mother had put in for her. Time to do a little studying.

...

Tongue peeking between lips that were pressed firmly together, Kasumi raised the brush that she had taken from their father's den and dabbed it on the end of Akane's nose. Her sister sneezed. "Akane! You were supposed to be stay still. Now I need to fix it."

"It tickles though." Akane's complaints had been steadily increasing all night and Kasumi thought she might be getting a little tired. Still, she couldn't really argue with that. When she had done it to herself, she had thought the same thing.

"I know it does, Akane, but it'll be done soon." She dabbed at her sister's nose with a washcloth, then started again while Nabiki watched her dubiously. The middle Tendo sister had expressed more than a few doubts about any of this magic stuff working, but she had said she was willing to play along. She had even explained it all to Akane, because she was closer to her age and could explain them in a way that made sense to the seven year old girl. "You want this to be successful, right?"

Akane nodded enthusiastically and Kasumi was glad she had moved the paintbrush away before she asked the question. She glanced down at the book of Shinto rituals that she had gotten from Master Hino before her mother made her leave and compared the carefully drawn lines on her sisters and herself to those in the tome. It looked about right she thought as she made one small correction to Akane's face paint.

"Ok, all done!" She smiled at her sister as she jumped up after almost half an hour of sitting still. The little girl immediately went buzzing around the dojo at top speed to burn off her pent up energy. She was being careful about bumping into the candles, painted figures on the floor, and other paraphernalia that Kasumi had started setting up almost as soon as their father left for his meeting though, so that was okay.

She took her time double checking things against the book and by the time she was done, Akane had burned off a bit of her excess energy. She positioned her sisters in a triangle around the three wooden boxes she had bought on the way home from school. They were supposed to be cherry wood, but she didn't have quite that much money available and had needed to settle for the cheapest boxes available.

"Ok." She addressed Akane and Nabiki, her eyes taking in the lines carefully painted in symmetrical segments on each of their faces and extending down onto their chests and arms. Each had a bowl of water beside themselves for the purification portion of the ritual, a small pile of dirt from the garden, and then, of course, the empty boxes. She had also taken some of the incense they kept for Mother's shrine and lit it and set it carefully just behind them.

"Do you remember what you are supposed to do?" Nabiki nodded shortly, but Akane's was more than a bit hesitant, so she took the time to explain again. "This will be pretty simple. I'll chant the ritual. When I get to the end of the first part, you take the dirt and rub it here, here, and here." She demonstrated on herself, pointing to each cheek and then her forehead. "After that, brush off any left on your palms back into the pile.

"I'll start chanting again and when I stop, you then wash off the dirt on your cheeks and hands in the water. Pretty simple, right? More chanting, then you take the offering you decided on and put it in the box. At that point, you just need to wish as hard as you can while I finish the chant, then the ritual should take care of the rest." Kasumi really didn't stay at Master Hino's shrine long enough to get more than the basics of miko training, but this sounded easy enough to her.

The thing that Master Hino had really stressed during the short time she had been with him had simply been that you needed to be sincere, or the kami wouldn't hear you. He had thought she had a talent for it, but hadn't really explained what that meant exactly. Sincerity didn't seem like a talent to her, it was just not lying. She supposed maybe he meant believing in yourself and what you were doing with all your heart instead.

Other than a smidgeon of guilt that she wasn't following her mother's wishes, she thought she was doing the right thing. Certainly Nabiki and Akane wouldn't be participating so willingly if they actually wanted to do the laundry. It was a win-win proposition.

The ritual itself seemed easy enough. There was no ominous energy crackling through the air, sense of peace, foreboding, or anything else of that sort. Akane got a little overenthusiastic with the dirt and Kasumi had to lean over and help her with the purifying wash, but other than that, it didn't really seem to do anything. Perhaps she wasn't pronouncing the chant right? Well, no harm done anyway.

She had placed a pair of her mother's panties in the small box she had acquired, the only remnant of her first collection and her most precious possession. She hoped that losing the "spirit" of the panties to the offering wouldn't disturb the chi invested in them, but she had to take that chance. The ritual was very clear that it had to come from the heart. She was surprised to see Akane put her favorite teddy bear down though. She hadn't thought that her little sister cared about this so much.

Nabiki, unsurprisingly pulled out a piggy bank, but it wasn't even the favorite one she had gotten for her last birthday. Oh well, it was still something she had valued at some point. Hopefully that wouldn't upset the kami too much.

Finally, Kasumi started on the last of the chants, the entire thing still as unassuming as ever. While she was focused upon their wish, she saw Nabiki with her eyes closed and fingers crossed and Akane again was looking strangely intent. Her eyes were screwed shut, her fists clenched, and she was whispering something Kasumi couldn't quite hear under her breath. It was really beginning to worry her a little. She was beginning to think Nabiki hadn't passed along the message quite right, but it was almost over anyway.

Letting the last words trail off, Kasumi sighed in disappointment. Nothing had-

A massive column of fire flared up in front of her and she screamed, falling backwards and starting to scramble away until she remembered Akane and Nabiki when her own shrieks of fear were echoed. A quick look past the flames in front of her revealed a slightly smaller version in front of Akane, while Nabiki had one that was maybe only a foot high. Her little sister definitely looked to be in need of more help as well.

Planning to go to her little sister, she had only just started to push to her feet when the world seemed to flip and she felt incredibly light-headed. A moment later, everything went black.

...

As Kasumi slowly came to, she found her hands clutched around her head and her knees curled up to her chest. It felt like someone had done... well, not very nice things at all to her head. Something to do with martial arts probably and maybe even the weapons that her father kept on the walls of the dojo.

Someone was crying and she cracked open her eyes, accepting the spiky pain the light brought, to see Akane bawling her eyes out and clutching the burnt remnants of her teddy bear. Nabiki was hugging her, the stoic exterior she had been developing since mother's death visibly broken and her eyes scared.

"You said it would bring back Mommy!" Akane wailed and Nabiki's eyes widened and filled with tears. Much like always, she dashed them away angrily, but that temper wasn't present in her voice when she responded.

"I, Akane, I didn't, that's... it's, it's not what I meant," she trailed off lamely. Kasumi winced. Nabiki wasn't really good with emotions. Not with having them and not with other people having them. She didn't always think through how her words would affect people, not in terms of how they felt anyway.

Akane hiccupped, her nose dribbling snot and her eyes red. "You said though, you promised it'd make it like it was. I want Mommy back. It was magic, but she's not back and Naru's gone and Ka-Kasumi's hurt and it's not like it was at all."

She wanted to respond, to at least tell Akane that she was okay, but she was having trouble getting her voice together or really moving at all. She had never ever felt this bad. Her head felt like it was too small to hold her thoughts, or feelings, or something. It felt like it was going to explode. So all she could do was listen.

"It's not like it was at all," Nabiki agreed miserably. Her head turned towards Kasumi beseechingly, but apparently she couldn't see her partially opened eyes between her arms. "I can't... I don't think anyone can make it like it was, Akane. Mommy's- she can't come back anymore." Kasumi almost sighed in frustration, but maybe it was the right thing to say, because Akane's tears slowed.

Her quiet whisper was barely audible to the eldest Tendo daughter, but it still almost broke her heart when Akane said, "But you promised."

"I know, I mean, I know I said that, Akane, but I meant that, well, that we wouldn't need to keep doing chores..." Nabiki's voice trailed off and even she seemed to realize this was entirely insufficient. Her eyes darted around the room and fell on Kasumi, on the steady rise and fall of her chest and she took a deep breath before continuing.

"It's not, I know it's not enough, but maybe we can find Mommy here-" She touched Akane's heart. "-and here-" She guided their little sister's hand to her own chest. "-and there." And she pointed both of their hands to Kasumi, who finally mustered up the strength to pull a hand away from her head and smile weakly in their direction. And despite the pain, she did feel like smiling, because that was almost word for word what she had said to Nabiki at their mother's funeral. Something she had worried hadn't helped at all, but apparently at least made enough of an impression to stick around for this moment.

"Kasumi!" The cry had echoed out from two throats as soon as they noticed her movement and her sisters immediately scrambled through the wreckage of the apparently not so little ritual to grab her in furious hugs. The heartfelt words that followed were scrambled and indecipherable and being pulled up into a sitting position hurt a lot, but eventually all three of the Tendo sisters found themselves huddled together in the center of the dojo in a group hug.

Kasumi's headache was, oddly, slowly receding and her strength increasing, so she took the moment to squeeze both of her little sisters to her. She had hurt them so badly and all for own selfishness. She had thought it was for them too, but... maybe she hadn't been as sincere as she thought.

"I'm so sorry, Akane. Nabiki. I just..." She let her words fade away. How did you apologize for almost tearing apart your family, hurting them when they were already bleeding?

"It's okay, Kasumi. Nabiki explained it. The magic made it so we all got a piece of Mommy inside us, so when we're all together like this, it's almost like Mommy's back, right?" Akane's voice was hopeful, obviously wanting to believe that tonight meant something and she burrowed into Kasumi's side.

Nabiki looked pained at the words, then took on a kind of grim resolve that was a little frightening to see in a nine year old. When her mouth opened though, Kasumi put a finger to her lips and shook her head. She thought maybe, just maybe, sincerity in this case wasn't just not lying, it was letting the underlying truth free.

Running a hand over Akane's hair, not unlike the way Mother used to when she was younger, Kasumi said, "You're exactly right, Akane. You got it perfect."

...

All three of the Tendo sisters were grounded for a month after the disastrous ritual in the dojo. It turned out that house paint was not intended for use on small children or hardwood dojo floors. Nor as it happened were the aforementioned floors, and in the case of Kasumi's blaze, ceiling, intended to have fires built upon them. The pile of ash that was all that was left of Kasumi's offering was explained away easily enough when their father got home while they were still trying to get the paint off the floor, but Akane's favorite stuffed animal being destroyed and Nabiki's piggy bank partially melted were harder.

Kasumi's babysitting privileges were suspended indefinitely, though Soun didn't appear to believe her when she said it was entirely her idea and fault. It didn't help that Nabiki and Akane both chimed in that they helped too and everyone should have the same punishment.

And ultimately, Kasumi got her wish. Though it didn't work out quite as she had hoped. There was no immediate jump in her ability to handle the chores. Her father didn't abruptly realize he was wrong. She didn't develop amazing household powers that let her take care of anything with scarcely a jot of work. It did seem like she was maybe improving a bit more quickly than before, but that was really about it on that front.

Akane and Nabiki on the other hand were disasters. The first time they were loosed upon the laundry room after the ritual was complete, they managed to set fire to the washing machine. While it was filled with water. What happened to the dryer was better left unsaid. Soun had them try together, separately and all told, the Tendo dojo had their laundry replaced three times before he gave up and handed it over to Kasumi with no little weeping about his betrayal of Kimiko.

Determined not to let Kasumi take on all of the work, he tried the pair at cleaning, cooking, anything and everything that he thought they might be able to do. It was all, uniformly and without exception, a complete and utter disaster.

Kasumi couldn't have been happier. Well, she wouldn't have minded not crippling her sister's domestic abilities and it didn't help Father at all, but despite the negative side effects of the ritual, it seemed that they were also closer than they had ever been before. Akane routinely forced the three of them together for group hugs so "Mommy can see how we're doing" and she thought it probably helped all three of them to deal with their feelings. She also had sole dominion over the laundry.

Father was really the biggest casualty in the entire mess, his efforts at mustering Tendo family togetherness having failed so spectacularly that it sent him back to bed for sixteen hours out of every day again.

It was Nabiki who ultimately stumbled upon the solution.

"Daddy can't say no to anything if you give him puppy dog eyes," she said, her eyes sparkling with suppressed excitement. "So all we need to do is tell him that we want him to get up, be a man, stop sulking, and be the old Daddy. Then we smile, flutter our eyelashes, and he'll be back to normal in no time."

"Umm..." Kasumi tried to find a delicate way to put this. "I'm not certain we want to phrase it quite like that, Nabiki." She was improving, but the whole feelings thing still passed Nabiki by half the time. She seemed to get it at odd times now though, at least for other people and she saw a few things that even Kasumi missed.

Akane jumped up at this and said, "I know, let's introduce him to Mommy! That will make him happy!"

This prompted an exasperated look from Nabiki, but Kasumi said, "That's not a bad idea." Waving her hands in response to the level stare Nabiki gave her, she clarified, "I mean more attention from us in general and maybe some hugs. Father was upset about his plans, umm... backfiring a bit."

Nabiki smirked. Kasumi rolled her eyes. While she knew Nabiki hadn't really bought into the ritual at first, her sister didn't really have another explanation for why something had seemed so easy it was boring one day and then complicated enough that she nearly burned the house down the next. The end results ultimately meant she didn't even need to try though, so she seemed to be okay with it.

Akane on the other hand... She hadn't really put two and two together on the ritual and her issues. Luckily reassurances that she was just a little young for cooking and other household chores had been sufficient to make her happy. Her little sister wasn't one to back down from a challenge though and she had to hope that the... effects would fade with time.

Soldiering on, Kasumi said, "If we show that this has brought us closer together, then Father may realize he hasn't made any mistakes."

They talked a bit more, but ultimately the "plan" ended up as a combination of Nabiki's puppy dog eyes in triplicate, Akane's group hug, and a bit of a pep talk from Kasumi. She thought it worked pretty well, though she would need to talk to Nabiki about taking advantage to ask for ice cream. That wasn't what she had intended at all. Even if it had been yummy.

* * *

Ranma's throat was a little tight after the end of that story and Kasumi looked a little... he wasn't sure exactly, after she finished the story, but it was at least in the vicinity of sad. Guys just, well, they didn't get like that obviously and it ended up happy, maybe even a little funny, so he'd just... maybe distract her a little. It wasn't really right seeing Kasumi unhappy.

"You know, Kasumi, you're kinda lucky that Mr. Tendo's a super traditional guy," he said, perhaps a little too loudly. He coughed and adjusted the volume down a little. "Well, super traditional or super lazy like my pops. They are probably best friends for a reason." He bent over and pulled the laundry that had just finished out of the washing machine as he spoke, watching with a lazy, amused smile of his own as the few undergarments that Kasumi hadn't hand washed vanished before he could even touch them. She had good hand speed for someone who hadn't trained since she was six.

"Why is that, Ranma?" If her response was a little delayed, he decided to ignore it.

"Easiest solution to your little trick would have just been to do the job himself."

Mouth opened in surprise, Kasumi said, "You know, that idea never even occurred to me." Her head tilted again as she considered the problem, then said, "I suppose I could have used the same ritual on father, but... there probably would have been a few complications. I'm sure it would have been worth it though." She nodded decisively and picked up a basket, balancing it against her hip.

Ranma was already spinning two of them on his fingers, taking the opportunity to do a little impromptu training by keeping the lopsided weight of the wet clothing turning in a smooth circle. It was actually a bit challenging without using his chi and even took a little strength if he kept his arms at full extension.

He followed Kasumi out of the room readily enough and into the yard, where they spent a little while in companionable silence aside from Kasumi scolding him as he tried to work out ways to turn household chores into martial arts. His favorite for hanging the clothes was probably trying to work out Ryoga's iron fan cloth technique to throw them and releasing it at just the right time to drape over the line.

Needless to say, he didn't get it perfect the first time, second, or even third time. With Kasumi's aura of dignity a little punctured by recent revelations he even laughed when she accidentally got one of the numerous towels the Tendo residence used in the face on a bad throw. As opposed to bowing down and prostrating himself in apology, which was the typical response to Kasumi being involved in anything that even approached horse play.

Of course, when he then ended up with a sopping towel over his head that triggered his curse a minute later, all he (or rather she at that point) could do was sputter in disbelief. Kasumi didn't look the slightest bit guilty, though Ranma imagined there might have been a slightly mischievous edge to the serene smile she wore.

"I'm sorry about that, Ranma," the eldest Tendo daughter apologized. "I'm afraid my hands slipped on that sheet. I am glad that you were there so it didn't get dirty though." Much like that first night he had been here, where she delivered her entirely succinct verdict about Akane, Ranma wasn't quite if there was any hint of irony or sarcasm to the statement. A guilty glance over at the small pile of laundry that had resulted from her experimentation made her unsure whether that was a rebuke or a joke.

Either way, no real harm done. "That's alright, Kasumi. It's-" She stopped, that chill that had gone up her spine earlier back and she glanced over at the house only to see a curtain twitch back in place.

"Uhh, actually, we're about done here, right?" She nudged the pile of clothes that had missed the clothes line and flipped them up into her arms rapidly. She was already soaked, no reason to bother with a basket at this point. "Why don't I take these in and you can finish up here."

She didn't really wait for an answer and ran into the house. A few moments had her looking out the window in the kitchen that she had seen move, but there was no one here now. No clues that she saw either. Whoever it was had left the room as spotless as it had started.

Akane was usually more blatant than that, so she didn't think it was her again. She wondered if Soun was still tied up by her Dad. The old man probably would have warned her if he had gotten loose.

Oh well, she'd just have to keep an eye out. Turning around, she made her way to the laundry room and dumped the clothing she had in her arms in the washing machine. She had no idea what settings needed to be set, however, and after hearing about three of these things exploding had no intention of trying to just guess.

As she was heading out of the room, her eye caught the cupboard where her panties had been stored and noted that it was now empty. This gave her a brief moment of panic, but she'd just have to ask- ahh, speak of the devil. Angel? Probably still more appropriate.

"Hey, Kasumi, we never really finished talking about them, but about those panties-"

Hands clasped in front of her, Kasumi looked at her and bowed deeply. Not even getting raising her head, she exclaimed, "Please, don't make me destroy them!"

"Kasumi, I-" Ranma started, but was interrupted yet again as the pantyphile looked up at her beseechingly. Glancing wildly from side to side to make sure no one was seeing this, she pulled her into the changing room again and slid the door shut.

"Or do it yourself! I... to tell the truth, I've kind of wanted them since that first weekend when we all played dress up after you arrived. It was very disappointing when you wouldn't cooperate."

"That... you mean when Nabiki...?" Ranma paused for a moment, leaving off what she was going to say and quirking an eyebrow up slightly. She had no idea why the eldest Tendo was so set on this, but it had to be something weird. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know, but there had to be something going on there. "Why are you so set on this, Kasumi? I mean, what exactly about my chi or whatever is so unique?"

"Oh! It's wonderful! You have this amazing blend of male and female chi that I've never seen anywhere else before. It isn't at all obvious when you're walking around, so I didn't expect it at all when you arrived and then after I felt it that first time... well, I may have delayed the laundry a little so you used up the last of your clothes. I was very excited. I _am_ sorry." She bowed again, though this one was just a short bob up and down.

Ranma blinked. She wasn't quite sure what to make of that, though she felt like protesting that her chi was one hundred percent male, regardless of what Kasumi thought. "I, uh, kind of remember that I think." She could hardly forget the first time she had ever worn girl's clothes, let alone all the weird outfits they had ended up getting him into afterwards. Now that she thought about it, Kasumi had actually been a big driver of that as well. In fact, Nabiki had been the one talking her down.

"Though I do feel as if you missed the point entirely when you wouldn't wear anything but your boxers with Akane's clothing," she added matter of factly.

Ranma's brain tilted at that and she found herself on the ground, though one foot remained planted upright. She righted herself and asked, "You do remember the whole 'I'm a guy' thing, right, Kasumi?"

Kasumi paused, looking at her as if she was a five year old who hadn't quite gotten her lessons right. "Well, yes, that's half the point, isn't it?" Her smile allowed for no chance that her worldview could possibly be wrong and invited Ranma to share in her good humor. The martial artist grinned and shook her head wryly.

She almost wondered what would happen if she just shook her and repeated "guys don't wear panties" as many times as it took to sink home, but even with recent revelations that image jarred almost as much as an image of herself in a dress. Though come to think of it, the latter was not entirely uncommon anymore. That was a slightly depressing thought, but it was hard to really be sad when Kasumi was looking so happy.

"Ahh, like your Mom and you, I think we'll need to agree to disagree on that half a point," she said firmly. She paused for a moment as a shiver went up her spine and thought she caught that mischievous twinkle in Kasumi's eyes again. The redhead was beginning to think that Akane wasn't the most stubborn Tendo girl.

Talking quickly this time, so she could actually get it out, she said, "Anyway, what I wanted to know was if you actually have the panties and things that were in the cupboard. Please, please, tell me you do."

"Oh, of course," Kasumi exclaimed, pulling them out of... somewhere. She didn't particularly want to think about that. "I wouldn't let anything happen to them, but... I do have a confession. I... may have the negligee and panties that Nabiki dressed you up in after you met Grandmother Cologne as well. It isn't quite the same though, since your chi was leaning so heavily towards female at that point."

Shaking her head, Ranma briefly wondered exactly where Kasumi kept all of these panties, bras, and other garments when they weren't in "circulation", but finally decided to just let it drop.

Ranma sighed. "Ok, tell ya what, Kasumi. I'll let ya keep those, with a few conditions. Number one is that Happosai _never_ sees them. Ever. Two, no one _else_ knows they're mine." No chance of hiding that from Happosai if he saw them she thought. "Three, uhh... well, we'll just say you owe me a few favors, kay?" Truthfully, she was actually going to just go with condition number one and two at the start of the conversation, at least after she determined that she didn't need to go beat down the pervert to get them back, but the male/female chi thing had weirded him out a little bit.

"Yes, yes, yes! Thank you, Ranma!" Kasumi leaned forward and hugged Ranma. Freezing, her arms held awkwardly out to the side, Ranma eventually settled for gingerly patting her on the back. She wasn't sure what else constituted a safe action when your fiancee's sister hugged you- particularly after you had just given her... You know what, nope, not going there again.

After a moment, Kasumi pulled back, so she said, "Yeah, uh, sure, no problem, Kasumi."

"Umm, I don't suppose you'd wear them for a full-" Ranma felt her worldview tilting again and found herself on the ground. She listened to Kasumi fret for a moment, then try again. "-no, no, never mind, forget I said anything! Maybe one night?"

Ranma had that distinct feeling you get when you've handed someone the rope for your own noose. She should have known this was going to come back and bite her. No good deed ever went unpunished. If you were lucky though, the punishment only happened once.

...

Ranma had just about finished up his evening workout when the door to the dojo slammed open, causing him to jump backwards and land in the stance he had just finished practicing.

When his father fell through moments later, actually in human form for once, he quickly found himself at the old man's side, checking for a pulse. He had seldom seen Genma worked over this well and outside of Happosai, the old crone, and maybe himself, he couldn't think of anyone who could pull it off. At least of the people currently in Nerima.

"Ok, Pop. Which fiancee caught up to us now?"

His father scowled and said, "No fiancee... boy." He coughed a couple times, a little too loudly for it to be real and continued, "And you do your old man an injury, talking about him like that..."

"Yeah, yeah, so what happened?"

"I've come... to warn you... to run," Genma wheezed, one hand coming up towards the light. Ranma rolled his eyes. "Run like you've never run before... I delayed him as long as I could, but..."

A noise from outside caught Ranma's attention and by the time he looked back Genma was suspiciously unconscious. He poked the old man and got nothing but a snore from him. That was pretty much a sure sign the bastard wasn't sleeping, given that he didn't snore. Not that he would ever tell the old man that.

A shadow falling across his father's face caused him to look up before he could take the time to wake his old man and he groaned. Soun was standing there in full armor, a heavy spear in hand as he stared at Ranma.

"Oh come on! I didn't even do nothing today!"

The spear dropped down, pointing directly at Ranma's heart... and then dropped another foot and a half. "Prepare yourself, son! This is for your own good. And that of my innocent Kasumi!"

Ranma ran.

* * *

Soun came to slowly, a warm stream of water running down his face the apparent cause of his drift from sleep. Eyes gradually opening, he found himself staring at... well, no need to dwell on that. A swipe of his arm sent the dog on its way and he pulled himself stiffly into a sitting position.

Being passed out in alleyways was a young man's game. Regardless of how many times their Master had left them in similar straights, he was far too old to have ended up drunk, slightly concussed, and with a marked lack of memories on how he got into this situation. Experience didn't help one weather dire straits when you were too drunk or beaten to recall how you got there.

A quick survey of the alley did at least reveal a hose and he took the opportunity to rinse the... unmentionable fluid off of himself before he continued thinking. First order of business was to figure out why he was here. He bent down and sniffed gingerly at the areas that hadn't been stained by entirely the wrong sort of yellow liquid, but he didn't catch the scent of sake. Which likely meant a beating.

And that usually meant the Master. He was quite certain he hadn't gone out with him last night though. So what had he... A flash of memory gave him a scene of roof hopping, his weapon at hand and armor donned. He was chasing... Ahh, yes, Ranma, to punish him for his transgressions.

It was coming back to him now. The boy had been getting entirely too friendly with his daughter. The wrong daughter that is and that threatened 'The Plan'.

He had chased him for hours, roof to roof, down narrow alleys and through areas of the city even he with his storied past here could not say he had visited. He had cornered... Wait, no, that wasn't quite it.

...

"Wait a minute, why am I running?" Ranma asked, skidding to a halt and turning to face Soun. "I didn't do anything at all this time. Right is on my side for once!"

Soun had a rather ominous feeling about this change of events. "Ahh... son..."

Knuckles popping, his son in law turned and Soun dug deep for the righteous anger that had driven this chase. Unfortunately, it seemed to have been banked down to a steady glow that paled in the face of the decidedly unpleasant expression on Saotome's son's face. No need to compound problems with more problems. Time to steal a page out of Saotome's book.

He didn't make it far.

...

Ahh, yes, that would explain the bruising all along his ribs, the recently dislocated and set knee, plus a few potential bone bruises. Nothing too horrible, but it would be hard to explain to the children. They were ever so protective of him anymore and would no doubt be terribly upset with his son-in-law. He hated to cause them worry, so he no doubt decided to stay in the alley overnight to spare them that.

He also hated to lose, if truth be told, but that hadn't appeared to have saved him yesterday.

...

"Now listen here, Mr. Tendo."

Soun groaned and the boy apparently took it as an invitation to continue his interrupted diatribe sans brutal beating.

"I ain't done nothing to Kasumi. Talk to Nabi- no, you know what, that's a terrible idea, don't do that." He paused, then shrugged and said, "Ask Kasumi if you think I'm lying, but I've been helping her out with her chores, and that's it."

An 'urp' and two grunts slipped out of Soun as he fell over, but he tried to pay attention to his future son-in-law. Knees splayed as Ranma crouched beside him, almost sitting on his heels and his arms resting loosely on his legs. He had thought himself a bit better than that at least. The boy had a couple scratches from his now broken nodachi, but that was the only sign of discomfort or damage he showed.

"I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do, so stop doing weird crap and jumping to conclusions. I know you haven't seen anyone do it in a long time 'cuz neither Akane or Nabiki can, but it's the truth." He glared at Soun and nudged him with one stiff finger. "That means no more watching us at weird times of the day, got it? I ain't gonna pull anything."

Hmm... "can't" rather than "won't". That was a bit odd. He knew that the boy was aware of his little Akane's issues in the kitchen, but he wondered how he had found out that Nabiki had the same problems.

He tried to answer, but it came out as a largely unintelligible mish-mash, what with his face being half buried in some rather noisome dirt. Ranma rolled him over a moment later and he tried again. "Ahh... I wasn't watching... today." He wheezed. "A bit... tied up... with Saotome."

This caused Ranma to scowl. "Damnit. Who was it then? Akane's not really good enough to hide that quick and was at her friends house for one of them... Nabiki don't trigger my senses like that much as I wish she did." He shook his head. "Don't matter. I'll find out soon enough I'm sure. I got to get back home."

Looking at Soun doubtfully as he stood up, Ranma asked, "Uhh, you need some help, Mr. Tendo? I might a been a touch excessive there. Just working out some frustrations, I guess."

"Ahh..." Soun pictured himself being carried in like a sack of overripe fruit and tossed in a corner somewhere, his daughters walking by and laughing to themselves as Ranma regaled them with the tale. "No, no, that's alright. I'll make my own way home. Nothing I haven't had before. You ask your father."

"If you say so, I'll see you later then, I got to get some sleep."

Now if the world would just stop spinning...

...

Well, that about summed that up, he supposed. He frequently forgot how much Kasumi handled around the house anymore, she did it with such aplomb and grace. At least at one point, he had tried to address that as he recalled. Shortly after his poor Kimiko passed away, in fact. He had gotten Akane and Nabiki together and started them on one of the chores he thought they could handle... no, one of the chores that his wife had told him Kasumi absolutely should not have to do. Ever.

He recalled thinking her vehemence was a bit odd at the time, but he was hardly going to deny his wife's dying wish, even if it was an odd one. That was also when his two youngest daughters' disabilities, yes, that was a good word for it, their disabilities were revealed.

And his children had gotten into the most trouble he ever recalled in his life almost immediately after. He had no idea what had possessed Akane and Nabiki, but even Kasumi had played along. It had been a very odd month or two and had triggered a relapse into some faintly shameful behavior.

On the plus side though, he had gotten a reaffirmation that his oldest daughter still loved him towards the end. He had appreciated the effort that all three of them had put into cheering him up, but hearing Kasumi call him Daddy one more time when she was asking him to get back up... that was a memory he still treasured.

When Kimiko forbid her from learning Anything Goes and she stopped calling them Mommy and Daddy- well, it had been very hard. It had tested his courage more than once and he knew he had seen his wife crying over it. She had been absolutely adamant though and he had never had the will to gainsay her. If he was being honest with himself, he never had the will to deny his Kimiko anything. He tried not to be though.

It was a shame though. Kasumi had been quite the talented little martial artist. She was a wonderful child regardless though and he wouldn't change her for the world.


	4. Chapter 4

"Psst."

Frowning, Genma looked around without seeing anything, a few cans of food in the hand that wasn't currently holding his backpack. It was time for Ranma and he to go on their yearly training trip to the seaside. A few days late if truth be told. He was, admittedly slightly concerned about the training trip this year, given that it usually involved a trip to Okinawa when they were still moving around the country regularly. Toshima at a minimum. With Ranma in school though, they were going to be forced to settle for Izu.

He wasn't looking forward to a bracing swim in ten degree weather, regardless of what he told his son. Still, he shouldn't have allowed the boy's issues with Soun and Akane to push it off for the past few days. A bit of time to cool off would have been just the thing.

"Psst."

Turning slightly, he finally identified the person hissing at him. Dropping the cans in the pack, he brought his hand up to adjust his glasses and turned fully towards Nabiki. Just in case, he looked over his shoulder to make sure his son or another member of the Tendo household weren't hiding in the guest room.

No one there. He shrugged.

"What can I do for-" he cut off as Nabiki shushed him, then watched her glance from side to side and beckon for him to follow. Curious.

Pushing his concerns to the side, he followed Nabiki slowly, wondering what the young woman wanted. He had gotten the financial pressure thing out of the way early on with the job at Tofu's place. It was hardly his fault she hadn't specified how long he had to hold it. He wondered what she wanted now, he didn't think they had spoken in private since that time.

They eventually ended up in the dojo, which made Genma raise an eyebrow. "Want some lessons, girl?" He was pretty sure he would refuse if Nabiki actually said yes. She was scary enough without martial arts or his other skills. Particularly his other skills, come to think of it.

She ignored his little joke. "Mr. Saotome, I know."

Genma's eyes widened a little. How...

"I know something that... I'm afraid you don't. And I can't keep this secret any longer, despite a certain someone taking me into his confidence."

Letting out a breath, Genma almost sighed openly. Just another of the girl's games it appeared. He really didn't have time for this, best to let her know that and go on his way.

"Ahh, Nabiki. I'm afraid I was just leaving, I'm already running a bit behind because of that, uh, unpleasantness with Soun." He grimaced at that, the man had been positively rabid about his daughter. Admittedly, he thought Ranma would do better with Akane, but if it came down to it, he felt 'The Plan' could weather a different Tendo daughter.

He eyed Nabiki and the solemn expression that didn't quite hide the glitter in her eyes- avarice, amusement, or some other emotion that no doubt meant trouble for those around her. Perhaps not any Tendo daughter though. "Another time, maybe?"

Presumably unaware of his thoughts, Nabiki feigned concern. "Oh, I didn't know, though this is... well, I think it's a bit related. It's just... well, I don't want to delay you. I promised not to say anything anyway, so perhaps this is better?" Moving past him, the girl bumped his shoulder. While he was already turning to let her past, the jarring was apparently enough to loose several photos from her pockets that dropped to the dojo floor.

"Oops, how clumsy of me."

Grimacing, Genma bent and picked them up, then raised an eyebrow. He absently noted Nabiki finish her walk out of the dojo, her earlier furtiveness now a lazy, self-satisfied strut that was more common on the girl. The top most photo had attracted his attention though.

Ranma was standing beside Kasumi in female form, her cheeks liberally smeared with flour and wearing an apron that said "I'M A GUY", not unlike the "BOY" swimsuit she had used a few times this past summer. Not the most horrible thing, he supposed, but the boy presenting a batch of heart-shaped chocolate cookies to Kasumi that looked the equal of some school girl's Valentine's Day love token took any remaining doubts about what it was portraying away. The picture itself mainly made his stomach growl, though.

While that was the worst of them in some ways, certainly illustrating the point that he suspected Nabiki was trying to get across the best, the other photos actually gave him more heartburn: one of the boy dusting in his male form, another of her hanging the laundry in a picture of domestic tranquility, a third of him gathering up dishes while laughing. Each subsequent photo, dated for easy reference, felt like a tanto driven into his stomach. Largely because if they ever got back to Nodoka, that is probably exactly what they would amount to.

He was sorry to say that while he liked to proclaim the boy had no weaknesses aside from that pesky thing with the cats, there was another one that he had needed to keep in check over the years. The boy simply could not abide a mess. In itself, it didn't really pose much trouble. However, his mother had very... firm ideas about what constituted manly behavior. Very black and white.

Genma had never gotten a list from his wife, but given what he knew of her views he thought a good rule of thumb was 'anything Nodoka does regularly probably isn't manly'. Cooking and cleaning definitely fell into those categories.

He took back his earlier thoughts on the 'The Plan'. Kasumi would have Ranma house broken within six months at this rate and she hadn't even gotten the engagement transferred yet. He wouldn't have his life's work, or more importantly, his life, ruined that easily.

The boy and he apparently needed to have a little talk.

=======================

"Boy, what are you doing?"

Ranma froze, his mind briefly going over the new trouble he had found himself in for today. It had been a couple of days since anything particularly catastrophic or painful had occurred, so, of course, as soon as he let his guard down something like this would happen. This being his father walking into the room when he was supposed to be busy getting ready for the trip in their room.

While he was cleaning a... largely superfluous part of the house that no one really looked at very often. Oh, and wearing girly pink rubber gloves and matching apron. Mustn't forget that.

If there was anything that qualified as a pet peeve for his Dad other than work, his tendency towards... neatness was probably it. Add in his current clothes...

He couldn't quite recall how Kasumi had talked him into wearing those now that he thought about. It had seemed reasonable when she proposed it though. Something about bleach, maybe? Ammonia? Certainly there had been something along those lines, but he was pretty sure that Kasumi could have made taking a skydive off a thirty story building sound like a good idea if she really believed it wouldn't hurt.

His father cleared his throat. Right. He needed a response. "Uhh, martial arts?"

He felt he might have a chance at getting away with this, given that he was also currently clinging to the ceiling with his toes and the fingers of one hand in order to clean it. It was possible he shouldn't have phrased that as a question though.

He quickly tossed the damp sponge he was holding across the room as well in case his father hadn't seen it, where it smacked into a wall and slid down slowly. That was probably a mistake. At least it hadn't been pink though. Purple wasn't a lot better, but it was a step in the right direction. Almost blue even.

Except that Genma was now looking at the sponge, rather than him. That hadn't worked terribly well. Still, it seemed like an opportunity if ever he had seen one- he swiftly flung himself in the other direction. Reaching out, he just barely caught the door frame in one hand, used it to turn his momentum into a swing through the doorway and he was out.

Another few moments saw him down the hallway and almost ready to dart outside when he remembered a crucial fact. He was still wearing a pink apron and gloves. He turned around. Nabiki smiled from the other end of the hall, raised her camera to her eye and snapped a quick picture.

He ground his teeth as she gave a short little wave and smirked.

"This is your fault!" He pointed. Oh, for the love of... He stripped the gloves off his hands, tossed them in a corner, then pointed again. Better.

Nabiki arched one eyebrow and let the camera dangle from a strap around her neck as she spread her hands wide in a mockingly innocent pose. "Moi? I don't know what you're talking about."

Unfortunately, Genma chose that moment to step out into the intersection of the two halls and Ranma froze before he could respond. Possibly just as well. Engaging in a game of wits with Nabiki, at least on the verbal front, seemed likely to be a losing battle.

Abandoning the house, he dived out the door and dashed to the side already fumbling at the knot that was holding the apron in place. Seriously, what had Kasumi done with this thing? He had had less trouble in the past with sailor's knots designed to hold a two ton ship to a dock.

Danger senses tingling, Ranma threw himself backwards as Genma clove the air where his head had been with his foot before hitting the ground and skidding to a halt. That had been close, the old man was more serious than usual.

"You're not getting out of this that easily, boy!" A flurry of blows put Ranma on the defensive and he gave up on the apron for now. He was going to have to put the old man down before he had a chance to remove it. Taking the initiative, he moved a little faster and started darting between Genma's blows and around the man himself to retaliate with short, sharp jabs to a few key points on the man's body.

His father didn't seem impressed. "You hit like a girl in that thing. Might as well look like one." The warning didn't let Ranma avoid the leg sweep, grab, and throw given that he was reluctant to jump above the height of the walls while he was wearing a frilly pink apron in his guy form.

Breathing out in a practiced motion, he plummeted into the koi pond and used the water plus a light touch on the bottom to deflect herself off the bottom and throw her body into a ready position on the opposite side. A toss of her head got red bangs out of her eyes and she watched her father warily, then abruptly relaxed.

"What would you know, old man?" She laughed triumphantly as her father's legs suddenly gave out under him. The look on his face was priceless. "I've been learning from more than you lately, ya know. That one was a backup for the Hiryuu Shoten Ha in case things didn't work out. Pressure points don't require no real force half the time." Not all the time unfortunately and on someone with a bit of padding you needed some real strength to push through. Luckily, that didn't include any of her regular opponents. Even her gluttonous old man didn't have any real fat on him when he wasn't a panda.

The real problem with pressure points was that they were hard to land on a wary opponent. It only took a shift of a centimeter or so to throw off the strike, so you were best off using them from hiding or on an opponent who wasn't expecting them. It was one of the reasons the moxibustion might have put her career down permanently. The kind of speed she would need to actually make an entirely pressure point based style work was ridiculous.

Her laughter abruptly cut off in a choke as her Dad took the time she spent gloating to jab himself in the solar plexus and glutes simultaneously, then flipped himself to his feet. He bent forwards and backwards, then slapped his thighs and settled into a horse stance with a cruel grin.

"You don't think I've taught you everything I know, do you, boy?" The sun gleamed off her father's glasses and she gulped as he raised hands abruptly glowing with battle aura. As they began to weave in arcane motions, leaving trails of chi floating in the air Ranma threw herself forward- she needed to interrupt whatever the old man was doing before he finished and quick.

Unfortunately, just as she was throwing a punch, he abruptly stopped everything he was doing without a hint of regret and fell backwards. Eyes widening as she realized she had just been suckered into overextending herself, Ranma twisted desperately but it wasn't quite enough to dodge the powerful kick that took her in the diaphragm and forced the air out of her lungs. That alone wouldn't have been enough to end the fight, but no breath, plus an uncontrolled spin through the air left her open and a sharp punch caught her in the temple before everything went black.

...

Ranma woke with a groan, one hand coming up to her forehead before she even had a chance to open her eyes. That had just been embarrassing, she hadn't fallen for one of her old man's stupid tricks in years...okay, months, but certainly not that hard. Still, that's all that had been. It had been a classic Maken Dokoku Ha and she hadn't seen it at all.

Stupid Hiryuu Shoten Ha showing her that stuff was actually dangerous. How the hell was she supposed to determine whether something was actually some fight ending secret technique or just a bluff? She'd have to decide on a strategy for that because her current 'weather the storm' tactics weren't working too well.

Shaking her head and pleased when it didn't cause any splitting headaches or anything, Ranma pushed the blanket off of herself and sat up. A quick glance down triggered an abrupt sense of deja vu and she let out another groan. She had known Kasumi wasn't going to drop this, but she had thought she had more than a couple days before something like this happened.

Plucking at the sheer purple nightie that she was wearing she grimaced, it was identical to and likely the very same one that she had woken up in several months ago after her first experience with hot water under the Phoenix Pill. She shuddered. As much as she had protested Nabiki's joking about it there had been a bit of temptation to don it again after she had put her usual tank top and boxers back on. Her skin had burned for days after jumping into that bath and this had been the softest thing she wore afterwards.

She was just lucky most of her own clothes were made of silk.

A further look around revealed that she was at least in her own room and on her own futon, so she got up and rummaged through her dresser for something safe to wear. As she was pulling out a dark blue top and her usual black pants, plus a pair of boxers to replace the panties, the door slid open and a figure attempted to sneak into the room.

Starting towards her futon, they paused half way there and Ranma took that as her own cue to clear her throat.

The brown-haired girl turned and looked at her standing by the dresser, arms crossed under her breasts and clothes held in one hand, and abruptly flushed crimson. "Umm..." Kasumi pulled off the little sneaking mask she had improvised and twisted it absently as her hair fell back down her back.

"Are you tryin' to get me in more trouble with my Pops, Kasumi?" Ranma's voice was dry and slightly amused now that she knew it wasn't Nabiki walking into the room. Or her Dad, but that had been out of the question the second she caught a glimpse of the intruder's profile as they walked into the dim room.

"No..." Kasumi's voice was very small and she glanced back in the direction of the koi pond, so Ranma figured she was probably thinking back to the fight with Genma. She hadn't really had much chance to react when the old man had walked into the family room where they were doing a bit of cleaning.

Ranma kept up the pressure. "And what did I say about whether I would wear any of this stuff?"

"'I'm a guy, I'm a guy, I'm a guy'?" she asked, not looking at Ranma any longer.

"Which meant?"

"Umm... I didn't get that part really." Her voice had that slight edge of guilt that Ranma was beginning to be able to pick up on after the stories involving her mother. Just barely there, since she probably legitimately couldn't understand some part of it. She sometimes wondered if the homemaker deliberately introduced her own blind spots though.

Ranma narrowed her eyes at Kasumi.

"But... it might have had something to do with you not wanting to wear them, despite how pretty, soft, and amazingly wonderful they could be for you. And the fact that if you just took a little bit more time to-"

"Kasumi!" Ranma's interruption was exasperated. They had been over this at least three times in the past two days.

"I couldn't let you catch a cold, though! You were wet and it is nearly winter."

Ranma blinked. That was actually a legitimate reason. Though it would have more weight if she didn't have all of her clothes no more than a few feet away.

"Really, Kasumi? This is going to prevent that?" She waved a handful of the little wisp of nearly transparent cloth and Kasumi flinched a little.

Ranma wasn't sure whether it was due to her badgering or potential danger to the nightgown, but she abruptly felt like a heel, despite the clear moral advantage she held here. Perhaps it was the fact that they had different views on right and wrong for this stuff. Ranma clearly felt she was in the right and so did Kasumi.

Ranma sighed and gestured for Kasumi to take the futon and turn around so she could get changed. Her newest friend, Ranma felt pretty safe in assigning that label since they had never really talked much despite living together for six months, did just that, though she appeared to take a few moments to capture the memory before spinning and dropping into a graceful seiza position.

"Ok, so what prompted this anyway?" The redhead's voice was muffled a little at the end, since she was pulling off the nighty, but she continued on after that was done, pausing before pulling on her shirt. "I mean you've been a lot more careful about this stuff before now."

Kasumi cleared her throat, her fingers twitching backwards towards Ranma (or rather the nighty she had dropped, which was apparently close enough to lingerie to trigger her instincts) before she grabbed them with her other hand. "Ahh, your father actually went out with mine shortly after your fight. He actually asked me to give you the note on your dresser before he left in fact."

Huh. Ranma did see the note and reached over to grab it after she finished buttoning her shirt. It was pretty plain, just a single sheet of white paper folded in half. She flipped it open.

 _You lose. We'll talk when I get back._

"Damnit."

Kasumi glanced back with a concerned expression and Ranma waved her back. "It's nothin'. Just my pops being an ass like normal. Go on."

Her voice reflecting a smile at the casual dismissal, Kasumi said, "So I didn't think that they would cause any problems. Akane was already over a friend's house and I... may have sent Nabiki out with a rather long shopping list." She sounded faintly embarrassed about that, though Ranma knew that if she thought it would get her a chance at what she wanted that wouldn't have stopped her.

"So we were alone in the house. And, well, according to Dr. Tofu's books, you shouldn't have woken up for another hour or so..."

Shaking her head as she finished changing, Ranma finished for Kasumi. "So you thought you could get away with changing me into the outfit and then out of it. No harm done to anyone, hmm?" She grinned and decided to needle Kasumi a little. "The perfect crime, even."

Ranma could almost hear Kasumi's blush intensify from where she was sitting and the redhead added, "You can turn around by the way, I'm done." She took care to make sure the clothes she had been wearing were prominently displayed off to her side. If Kasumi was going to learn her lesson, there were going to need to be consequences and she had an idea for that which shouldn't make her feel too guilty.

The brunette turned at the words, though she let her legs stop a little early, leaving her in a more relaxed position with her legs slightly off to the sides and supporting herself with one hand. Ranma blinked. It was a surprisingly... She shook her head and dismissed that thought before it could form. They had both been getting more comfortable with each other after all, no need to read more into it.

Brushing it off, she finally said, "You know, you're kind of a scary chick though. You don't got the same kinda priorities I do, but when you want something, you seem to go and get it. It's pretty admirable. I kind of wonder what you would have been like with real Anything Goes training."

Kasumi seemed a bit surprised and possibly unsure whether it was a compliment or not from her expression. "I did have a little training remember. In fact, Grandfather Happosai even taught me a special technique for my 6th birthday."

"It's not that creepy one where he steals your bra and panties without even taking off your clothes, is it?" Ranma shuddered, that technique had been his greatest fear after he saw the reverse of it used on Cologne. Akane and the other girls at school on the other hand had experienced it first hand.

"No," Kasumi said wistfully, "I was supposed to learn that later, after I mastered what he taught me for my birthday. Apparently knowing the one I learned is needed for the other though. He tried to teach it to me a few times after that, but Mother caught him and got very upset."

Ranma nodded, again sympathizing with Mrs. Tendo. "It is a shame you couldn't just train under Mr. Tendo, even if you weren't allowed to meet with Happosai," Ranma said, "You had to be pretty good to learn a special technique at six, regardless of what it was."

Kasumi shook her head. "I'm pretty sure that Father wouldn't have kept training me even without Mother's edict. I... might have eavesdropped a bit on the conversation and he said that it was probably just as well I wasn't continuing training. I must not have been very good."

Given her chi abilities, Ranma doubted that Soun had meant it the way Kasumi apparently took it, but who knows. Maybe Kasumi couldn't muster up the killer instinct for a fight. She could definitely see that being a problem, but she was also only familiar with her after her anti-Happosai training. "So if it wasn't that one, what was the technique?"

"I think he called it the 'Heavenly Grasp of the Righteous'. I was having trouble with a few older bullies at school right after I started, so I asked for more training from him and Father..."

* * *

Kasumi paused outside the house, still sniffling a little as she pulled her pony tail over her shoulder and examined her hair. The liberal amounts of gum that had been ground into it in the playground after school had hardened and she was sure it wasn't going to come out.

She couldn't tell Mommy though, because she had said there was to be absolutely no fighting outside of the dojo after the note from the principal. Even though these new boys were horrible, mean people and older than her, just like their siblings in her class. No exceptions was the rule though. Passed down after Kasumi's fortieth "But what if..." to her mother.

Looking at the gate with a sense of dread, the little girl sucked on a scraped knuckle and thought about her problem. She was already late, so Mommy would probably be waiting just inside the gate for her to come in. Maybe if she went to the back gate where the bad guys were supposed to go when they challenged Daddy?

She pondered this for a moment, then nodded decisively. She had been bad, so she should go through the bad guy gate and then hopefully Mommy wouldn't see her before she could try and wash her hair and hands and everything else. Suiting action to words, Kasumi dashed the whole way around the Tendo dojo, trailing her hand around the stone wall and wishing she could jump as high as Daddy. Then she wouldn't even need to bother with a gate.

More self-assured now that her course of action was decided upon, Kasumi found herself in front of the sign that she couldn't quite read just yet. It didn't just say Tendo Dojo, because she had asked Mrs. Akimoto about those hiragana specifically and even the kanji.

Dismissing that, she took a few moments to glance through the gate furtively, then hurried across the yard and into the house.

She felt very sneaky as she snuck past her parent's room and to the bathroom and clearly she was because she didn't get caught by anyone. The laundry caught her attention briefly as she walked past it, but it was only regular clothes, not the silky friends that Grandpa Happi had shown her. She dug in the pile a little just in case, but finally gave up on it.

It was hardly fair that she knew all about the treasures and Mommy kept them so high up when they were drying that she couldn't reach them. She had only been brave enough to sneak into her mother's drawer one time prior to this, but her dresser had actually been padlocked shut except on the drawers with boring stuff in them. She supposed all of this was part of why her silky friends were so special. Everyone knew that you guarded the most valuable treasures the best after all and she couldn't think of anything that was locked up as tightly as Mommy's underwear drawer. Not even the cookies.

Pulling her own dirty clothes off, Kasumi buried them deep under the pile of laundry and then stepped out into the furo room. She headed straight for the shower they used when Mommy, Nabiki, Akane and her bathed each night and found herself looking up at it with a frown. It was only a little out of reach, but Mommy had been pretty clear about what happened when you jumped in the bathroom.

Standing on tip toes, Kasumi reached for the shower head with one hand while her other rested on the handle. Tongue peeking between her pursed lips in concentration, she stretched as far as she could, one leg coming up into the air as she pulled and steadied herself. She almost had it when the handle she was leaning against abruptly spun and she shrieked as cold water poured over her.

Her hands clapped to her mouth, she scrambled back away from the stream of cold water and tried to catch her breath. The water was _never_ that cold when they took baths. Edging around the sprinkling water she reached to the hot water tap instead and turned that all the way up as well and the water finally became bearable.

Deciding she didn't need to have the shower head right next to her head, she took a few minutes to wash herself off and then focused upon her hair. Unfortunately, pulling at the gum just seemed to cause her hair to tug painfully and brought more tears than when Mommy brushed little Akane's hair. Her beautiful long hair was ruined forever and it was all those boys fault.

She eventually remembered to turn the shower off, dashing the tears from her eyes, and found one of the big fluffy towels stored in the room to dry herself off. This, of course, made her hair even worse and Kasumi was feeling quite melancholy as she imagined herself walking into school bald the next day.

Not even bothering to get dressed, she wrapped herself in the towel and wandered to the kitchen. The scissors were stored in the kitchen drawer that only Kasumi, Mommy, and Daddy could reach. However, when she pulled them out she couldn't quite get herself to take the next step. When her Mother finally walked in moments later to find her naked and dripping with a pair of scissors in her hands and a towel at her feet Kasumi almost put out her eye at the abrupt yell she let out.

"Kasumi! What are you doing?" Her mother's hands snatched the scissors away before Kasumi knew what was happening and snatched up the towel to wrap around her eldest daughter. Gentle hands traced the scratch on her cheek that wasn't quite bleeding, but still hurt quite badly, and the little girl abruptly burst into tears as she was pulled into a tight hug.

It took her mother the better part of twenty minutes, a bowl of ice cream, and a promise that she wouldn't get in too much trouble to get the story out of her. Kimiko's only response was a wry, "Oh, Kasumi. Only you. If Akane and Nabiki are half the handful you are when they get into school we'll be lucky to make it through the next fourteen years with the school district intact."

Kasumi lowered her eyes, scuffing her foot on the ground. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I know I was bad."

"It wasn't your fault, dear." Kimiko sighed and pulled her blue hair behind her ear in a practiced motion, then did the same to Kasumi. "You could have certainly handled the aftermath better, but that was largely my fault for losing my temper when you were looking for clarification on the rules."

"Aftermath?"

Her mother poked her in the forehead. "The results of your little encounter with those boys. A certain sneaky little girl and her adventures in the bathroom and kitchen."

"Oh." Kasumi thought about this for a minute, then looked up with a solemn expression. "I still shouldn'ta done that, but the fight was okay?"

"Ah, ah." Her mother gave her an impish grin. "No more carte blan- no more statements that are too general. You shouldn't get in fights either, but if you are attacked and don't have any other options, including running or telling a teacher, I don't want you to hold back from defending yourself."

Beaming, Kasumi nodded enthusiastically, then her face fell and tears began to well up in her eyes again. "I'm still going to be bald though. The gum won't come out."

"Hmm..." Kimiko tapped her lips. Standing Kasumi up, she indicated that she should turn around and took what the little girl felt was an abnormally long time to examine the damage. Finally, she said, "Let's see if we can work a little Mom magic first, shall we?"

Feeling hope, Kasumi turned to look up at her mother expectantly and saw her rummaging around in the pantry. This was confusing, but she kept quiet. When her mother pulled out a jar of peanut butter though, she blew out a sigh in exasperation and placed her hands on her hips in emulation of the woman in front of her. "Mommy, it's not time to make sandwiches!"

Her towel slid down and fell to the floor, which she felt rather ruined the effect as she was forced to scramble for it and wrap it around her shoulders again.

"Oh? Is that so?" Kimiko sounded more than a bit amused and Kasumi might have been more peeved if this wasn't her Mommy. And her only chance at not being a freak tomorrow. "I suppose we'll have to do something else with it instead."

Then she scooped out a generous handful with her bare hands and plopped it on her daughter's head. Kasumi gaped, too astonished for words, and her mother proceeded to move behind her and smooth the goopy stuff down the length of her hair.

"Mommy! What are you...?" She tried to whirl away, but her mother had a good hold of her hair by this point and she checked her movement when it tugged unpleasantly at her scalp.

"I told you, dear. It's Mom magic." Kasumi could hear the laughter in her mother's voice and pouted. She was sure her mother was making fun of her still. However, it didn't take long for Kimiko to finish and they promptly moved back into the bathroom where a slightly more thorough session with the shower managed to get all of the gum _and_ the peanut butter out of her hair.

Her Mommy really was magic. Plus she had as much as said that she could have Daddy or Grandpa teach her super moves that would let her beat up those bad guys who attacked her. She couldn't defend herself with what she knew now, after all.

...

Soun was Kasumi's first stop after she was all clean again and had put on her cutest dress. She could change into her gi after she had convinced Daddy that he should teach her an amazing move that would stop the big kids in their tracks.

Or maybe energy beams. That would be fun and she had heard the boys talking about that at school. It would totally convince them not to do stupid things like rubbing gum in her hair. She was sure she could pull it off with the things Grandpa Happi had been teaching her, even if she couldn't show them to Daddy.

Her father had apparently been tasked with keeping Akane and Nabiki busy while Kimiko helped her, so he was with her two younger sisters. He was "entertaining" them with mustache rubs that were making Akane shriek and beat him over the head with a rubber mallet she had received for her last birthday.

Nabiki was observing from the sidelines, laughing at both Akane and their father. Her face was red enough that it was clear she hadn't been exempt from the activity though and she was poised for flight if he turned his attention back to her. As Kasumi walked into the dojo, her little sister gave her a quick look, then turned her attention back to the father/daughter pair in the center of the room.

Kasumi clasped her hands in front of herself and waited politely for an opening in the play. She suspected this was going to result in her father losing his mustache again for awhile when her little sisters complained to Kimiko. When the shrieking finally died down as Akane tried to catch her breath, Kasumi piped up. "Daddy, did you know it is almost my birthday?"

"Kasumi. Done with your mother already?" He let go of Akane and the little girl immediately made a break for it, yelling for their mother as she ran out with her little legs pumping as hard as they could. Nabiki took the opportunity to do the same, but Kasumi saw her slip to the right after getting through the door and start eavesdropping. She always wanted to know everything that was happening in the house.

"Yes, she said to tell you dinner would be in an hour, too," Kasumi added belatedly, having nearly forgotten about that while she was changing.

Soun nodded complacently, his eyes followed Akane out of the dojo, but he relaxed when she made it into the house. "I see. It should be yakitori tonight. Tasty."

Taking a deep breath for patience, something that was always needed when dealing with Daddy, Kasumi tried again. "My birthday?"

"Hmm...? Is it that time already?" Soun stroked his mustache with thumb and forefinger, smoothing it down as he appeared to think. "You're what... fourteen? Fifteen?"

"I'm six, Daddy," Kasumi said with some exasperation.

Her father put on an expression of astonishment. "Surely not, you're so much bigger and more serious than your little sisters. At least twelve. I know I've missed at least that much time on my training trips." There seemed to be a hint of wistfulness behind this, but Kasumi ignored that, determined to put her father back on track and get to what she really wanted to talk about.

"Really, really, and truly," she said firmly. "I will be six in less than a week now."

"Well, if you're absolutely sure..." Soun said, his voice still sounding doubtful. "Do you think we should check with your Mom to be sure you're not at least nine or ten?"

"Daddy!" Kasumi stomped her foot. This caused her father to laugh and stride forward, reaching her in a couple of steps and snatching her up into his arms. She put her own arms around his neck and hugged him. She stayed away from the mustache though.

"Six it is," he said fondly. "I suppose if you're young enough to be this cuddly that still makes sense. I imagine you have a reason for mentioning your birthday. Your mother wouldn't let me forget, I assure you, and even the Master isn't so cruel as to keep me away then."

"Grandpa Happi-" Soun winced for some reason when Kasumi said that, but she ignored that. Mommy and Daddy were always weird about Grandpa. "-wouldn't miss my birthday. He always brings me a present!"

She paused for a moment, realizing that she wasn't actually supposed to say anything about that. Then she recalled that Grandpa Happi had also given her fake presents each year after her real one that she could show to her family. He was sneaky like that. It made her wonder absently if Nabiki would get a real birthday present this year. Maybe they could trade then and talk about their silky friends. That would be great. Secrets were fun, but it would be nice to be able to share it with someone.

She shook her head and realized her father had just finished saying something about Grandpa Happi. It probably wasn't very important though.

"I do have a reason," she said as seriously as she could. "I wanted a special present."

"Not just a regular present, but a special present, eh?" Her father looked her in the eye. She made them as wide and innocent as she could and could practically see him melting. She fought to keep a happy smile off of of her face. This was serious business. "Is this likely to bankrupt me? Do I need to mortgage the house to pay for it?"

Kasumi wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but she thought it might have to do with money since he had mentioned paying. "It won't cost anything," she said with the cool assurance of all of her six years of age. "I want you to teach me a special move! Something that's super amazing and can work on big kids too!"

Her father rubbed his chin, eyes narrowed in concentration. After a short time, his narrow face cleared and he exclaimed. "Ah ha, I know just the thing! Perhaps you would like to learn the deadly arts of... Mustache-Fu?" His voice dropped at the end of the sentence and sounded rather ominous.

Kasumi didn't think her father was being very serious. "I can't learn that Daddy! Girls can't grow mustaches!" She made sure her hands were free to ward off a demonstration, just in case.

"Oh? Well, perhaps we could glue one on then."

"I don't want a mustache though, Daddy." Kasumi felt she had to make sure her father understood this so he didn't do something weird while she was asleep. Her best friend Aoi had woken up in the middle of the forest once for a camping trip after her Daddy had announced a surprise the next day. She thought that could have been a little fun, but waking up with a mustache was definitely not going to happen. She rephrased her earlier comment. "Girl's shouldn't grow mustaches, either! It's not right."

"Really? That is a shame. Just ask Nabiki how effective it is." They heard a small squeak outside the door and the abrupt sound of running footsteps. Kasumi giggled and her father grinned at her.

"If we're looking at special moves though... you have been training for two or three years now." Soun looked a little sad, but Kasumi was used to this whenever her parents spoke about time passing. It was usually followed with something like 'you are growing up so fast, sweetie' or some variant on that. She always found that a little weird, since she figured everyone pretty much grew up at the same rate.

"Perhaps not on a regular basis, but I'm still very proud of you. We'll see what we can come up with in the next week or so, Kasumi. I'm not sure how long I'll be here after that, but it will give you something to practice, at least."

...

Kasumi began training with her father shortly after their discussion, but she didn't see Grandpa Happi until the day of her birthday to ask him about special techniques. Her party had been a lot of fun and she had liked all of her presents a bunch, but she was practically vibrating with impatience by the end of it. She wanted to see what he had brought her given how amazing his fake gift had been.

Finally, everything had wound down and Kasumi had dragged all of her presents back to her room. Dragged mainly because of Grandpa Happi's present to Kasumi, which had been a plush version of a fox girl that was bigger than her and dressed in a kimono. Akane, Nabiki, and all of her friends had been super jealous and her mother and father nearly speechless.

She was just setting up her new doll on a chair and trying to decide on a name when Happosai finally bounded into the room through her conveniently open window. The little old man grinned widely when he saw Kasumi and said, "How's my favorite pupil? Not getting lazy like your no-good Dad, are you?"

"I'm not!" she exclaimed, bouncing up and smiling widely in anticipation.

"Been keeping up with your training then? How's your collection coming along?" Grandpa Happi asked, his eyes twinkling brightly.

"It could be a little bigger..." Kasumi hinted slyly, her eyes looking over the old man in front of her wondering where her real present was hiding.

This provoked another grin from him and he nodded towards the hidden compartment. "Let's see then."

She jumped onto her bed, then glanced down towards her parents bedrooms abruptly and let herself drop onto her knees and then stomach more quietly. Pulling open her secret place, she pulled her collection out one piece at a time, spreading them across her bedspread to demonstrate to her friend.

After she was finished, she looked to Grandpa Happi expectantly and he made the appropriate appreciative noises then gave another cackling laugh. "I see you haven't unwrapped your birthday present yet."

Kasumi blinked and looked around, wondering if she had managed to miss a present. She couldn't see anything though and when she looked back at Happosai he was simply staring at her with an overly innocent smile on his face. Or maybe towards her. Her eyes narrowed and she looked back over her shoulder. The only thing sitting there was her fake present, that...

She covered the distance to the plush doll in a moment, but paused as she was reaching for it, her eyes on the elaborately tied obi. She wasn't sure she could put that back to normal.

"Go ahead, girl." Happosai's voice from right behind her caused her to jump a little and the old man laughed again. "I'll set it back to rights."

Worries alleviated, Kasumi pulled the obi, allowing the bow to slip free and the tight kimono to loosen. Hands a little hesitant now, as they always were when she opened a present, she carefully pulled the heavy formal garment apart and revealed her real present.

As she had guessed, the cute kitsune doll had an elaborate set of matching bra and panties on under the kimono. Shimmering in the moonlight, Kasumi traced the fabric with her hands, feeling the distinctive slipperiness and softness that was a characteristic of only the nicest of her lovelies.

This set of lingerie also had some interesting features that she hadn't seen in anything that Happosai had presented to her, in the store, or that her mother owned prior to this. The center of the brassiere was a simple bow that stretched the material tight over the plushy and looked like it actually untied. Likewise, each side of the panties had another small matching bow that could also be untied and she noted a few snaps upon both items that held a lovely, white fluffy fur in a few key locations.

"It's lovely." Kasumi let out the breath she realized she'd been holding and leaned forward to rub her cheek against the fabric.

"Glad you like it, Kasumi dear, glad you like it. Now. I hear you're looking to learn some secret techniques." There was something sly about his voice, and perhaps some amusement as the comment tore Kasumi from her rapturous perusal of her new gift.

She gaped at him briefly, then said, "Wow, you know everything, Grandpa. How'd you find out about that?"

"Oh, I have my ways. I have my ways," Happosai said, satisfied. "So, special techniques?"

"Yes! I'm six, so that's like... super old, right? I should definitely start learning secret moves now." This was perhaps slightly disingenuous, but Kasumi thought it was okay. She was getting old after all. She also didn't really want to tell Grandpa Happi about her problems with bullies. She thought he might understand, but she wanted to deal with it on her own.

"Well, let's see if you're ready then. You've been practicing?"

"I have!" Kasumi stood up straight, proud of herself. It had been really hard, but she was sure he was going to be super impressed.

"Well, let's see it. This pair-" Happosai gestured at the pair of panties and bra that were on her new doll. "-are a little special, though not quite up to your first gift, of course. They're from a lovely girl named Aya, quite healthy and an active martial artist. They were just rescued this morning and need a new home."

Kasumi took a deep breath. Her past presents had mostly been kept happy already by Grandpa Happi and she had just needed to ensure they knew they were appreciated after he made introductions. What he was telling her though was that she needed to show she could take care of her collection all by herself.

Resting her head against her doll and more so the bra it was dressed in, she let her cheek senses extend into the silky material. She almost jumped as she felt the cheek energy contained inside. It was very... active. She thought the person who had worn this must have really liked her own collection, though there wasn't any hint of the more stable patterns of cheek energy that were present in her own collection.

While she had almost never done this before, she had experimented on the one pair of panties she had managed to collect from her mother. Unfortunately, it hadn't worked completely and after a few weeks all that had been left was her own cheek energy, which wasn't quite the same since she hadn't even worn them. She was pretty sure she had gotten better since then though and this would be the test.

Her slow, patient work after that took nearly ten minutes, but at the end she held her breath and presented the results to Grandpa Happi. He took a good look, cocking his head to one side, then the other, before he nodded abruptly. "Great work!" He clapped her on the back and she beamed. "Now the other one, then I'll show you what you're going to learn. You're definitely ready."

The repeat of her work on the panties went quicker now that she was familiar with the cheek energy of their original owner and more sure of herself. Done, she turned to Happosai and said, "Ok, I'm ready! Now what?"

Jumping up, the bald man in the crimson jumpsuit leaped up onto Kasumi's dresser so she had to stare up at him. His aura flared and the rest of the room seemed to dim leaving the little girl wide eyed in wonder. This was exactly what she had wanted to learn! "What I am about to pass on is one of the foundational techniques of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. For two hundred years, I have searched for a worthy disciple. Your father and Genma Saotome came the closest to success, but are proving to be disappointing, good for nothing bums.

"You on the other hand have taken my teachings to heart and embraced the true spirit of Anything Goes. You have far to go and many are the techniques that you are not ready for, but this step will be your first on the path to greatness.

"Are you ready, Kasumi Tendo?"

"I am!" Kasumi piped, so excited her heart felt like it was going to burst.

Hopping down, his aura flickered out and the old man gave another of his cackling laughs. "Alright, enough of that. Let's go. This technique is called the Heavenly Grasp of the Righteous, but I usually just call it the Happo Happy Touch nowadays."

Walking over to her plush toy, Happosai's hands blurred and the kimono was abruptly as perfect as it had started, leaving the doll looking like an elegant fox girl again. Kasumi gaped. She had never seen anyone move that fast, not even her Daddy. "The first step is just to find the 'cheek power' within the silky darling that you're targeting. With the robust and healthy personality of Aya, that'll be easier during training, but you'll want to move on to others in your collection eventually."

The old man held a hand over the chest of the doll and Kasumi saw his fingers pinch slightly, though they didn't actually gather up any of the kimono's cloth. He moved his hand down though, then moved up to run his hand along the top of the plushies chest, his fingers flicking slightly several times.

Grinning, he once again untied the obi and pulled the kimono to each side, revealing the bra now untied and the decorative fur along its top detached. Kasumi blinked. "How'd you do that?"

"I reached out to the 'cheek power' within the bra and it reached out to me. As a result, I was able to touch it even through the heavy cloth of the kimono. Cloth, canvas, even armor is no bar to the Happo Happy Touch. Bwahahaha." Kasumi laughed too. Grandpa Happi was always fun to be around, particularly when he was showing her something knew.

"If it weren't for all the techniques I invented that use this as a base, this'd be my crowning achievement! I'll show it to you a couple more times, then we'll let you feel it out and I'll show you how to tie an obi. By the time you've mastered this technique, you'll be able to tie or untie this bra through the kimono without giving it a single wrinkle."

* * *

"Man, that sucks."

Kasumi's eyes widened momentarily, and Ranma rapidly waved off the comment. "Not you, Kasumi. It's your story, this one and the earlier one really. Don't get me wrong, as much as I rag on him, my old man knows his stuff when it comes to teaching, but I didn't learn any chi techniques until I was what... 9, maybe 10?"

"Really?" Kasumi asked, her voice surprised and her attention apparently derailed from her story. "I suppose my later teachers were very surprised as well."

"I mean, I still don't know any techniques that really manifest chi outside the body like that. The Hiryuu Shoten Ha now I guess, but that's more... changing your internal chi and synchronizing it with your opponent's." She shook her head slightly and said, "It's pretty cool stuff, forming fingers of chi or whatever you do."

This caused the home maker to tilt her head slightly and think for a minute. "Perhaps I didn't explain it very well, but I think it is probably closer to what you do than you think. I don't really reach outside of myself as... attract the chi. It is kind of like making myself into a pleasant home and inviting it in, or maybe acting as a magnet? I'm not very good at explaining this I'm afraid.

"It is part of why you need such a close relationship with your si- undergarments though. The attraction must be mutual and true love and respect is required."

Ranma looked a little green for a minute. "You mean that my chi, after it kind of gets absorbed into the cloth of my boxers, thinks that _Happosai_ is a better 'home' than myself?" She gulped and fought down a wave of nausea. "I think I'm going to be sick."

It wasn't like her chi had a brain or anything, so this was kind of anthromor- anteatermapping- that thing where you assigned human thoughts to something that didn't have them. Knowing that didn't really make it feel any less like Kasumi had just told her a piece of herself wanted Happosai to fondle her butt though.

Kasumi tilted her head. "I suppose so, but that is just how I think about the technique. Perhaps there are differences in the way that Grandfather Happosai conceptualizes it. Anything Goes is a very personal style, after all. I'm sure you adapt your techniques to yourself after your father teaches them to you."

"Uhh, I guess I do actually." Ranma thought about this, trying to distract herself from the distressing thought of what her own and hundreds or thousands of other girls' chi was doing when Happosai used this technique. "I mean, to some extent you gotta finish out any technique and make it your own, right? Adapt it to your own strengths and away from your weaknesses. Not that I got any. Weaknesses that is."

She jutted out her chest, jabbing herself over the heart with her thumb. The gesture of pride kind of emphasized assets that she'd rather not be reminded of at the moment though, so she gave up on that and walked over to plop down on the ground beside Kasumi.

"Still, woulda been cool to start on chi techniques as early as you. I gotta ask the old man why he didn't do that. I bet I'd be way better than I am now, hard as that is to imagine."

"Perhaps he was focusing upon ingraining another set of strengths that he thought was more crucial. When I met with Sensei Tanaka we talked a lot about early childhood development, though more so later when I caught up with him again after Mother passed away. Apparently those early years when we are most impressionable can lead to developing our greatest strengths."

Ranma gave that some thought and nodded to herself. "Huh. So you got your chi training early on and I got... maybe my adaptability. Pops threw a lot of weird stuff at me early on. It almost didn't even feel like martial arts sometimes."

Ranma smiled to herself as she thought about the early years of the training trip. At that time everything had still felt like a great big adventure. It hadn't been till later that it started getting routine or at least boiled down to something she'd expected rather than been surprised about.

"Ranma?" Kasumi asked softly after a couple minutes of companionable silence, sounding a bit hesitant. "If you don't mind my asking. Why did you lie to your father about what you were doing when he walked in?"

"Ahh..." Ranma hesitated. Kasumi and her had talked about her own past a little, but there was a lot of stuff in there that she thought might be misinterpreted. And a few things like the c-ca-feline fist that were legitimately terrible and she didn't want to think about herself. So she just kind of avoided it. Just a little. Kasumi had more to get off her chest anyway.

Still, this wasn't nothing too bad. "Well, it's not really a long-" She paused as Kasumi held up a finger.

"Akane, perhaps you would be more comfortable joining us, rather than listening at the door?" An embarrassed silence followed this, but a small cough finally revealed that Kasumi had been on the mark about someone being out there. Akane's voice called out a moment later.

"Excuse me," Akane said, her voice reflecting the same palpable embarrassment that had permeated the earlier silence, but she started sliding the door open.

Ranma raised an eyebrow, once more impressed with Kasumi's senses, but then her gaze fell on the nightie still lying on the floor near the dresser. Blanching, she leaped across the room, scooped it up, pulled open a drawer, and shoved it in blindly.

Akane gave her an exasperated look as she finished opening the door and stepped inside to see her with her arm stuck in her dresser. "I've seen you in your underwear often enough Ranma, I'm not going to flip out because you left your boxers lying on the floor."

As Akane walked over to sit beside her sister, Ranma wondered exactly how much she had heard. She assumed not too much, but she raised an eyebrow at Kasumi to ask the question silently. She received a short shake of the older girl's head, so she assumed her secret at least was still safe.

She caught a slight blush on Akane's features as she settled down and Ranma joined the two sisters by his futon, sitting on his pop's instead. "I'm sorry, big sister. I should have known better." Ranma wondered if her fiancee was saying she should have known better than to think she could eavesdrop on Kasumi or was talking about being impolite. When the younger Tendo glared at her, she realized she had said that out loud and gave her a sheepish grin.

"Ahh, anyway. What I was saying was that the reason I, umm, misled my Pop-"

"About what?" Akane asked, curious.

Kasumi answered for the boy turned girl, saying, "Uncle Saotome walked in on Ranma and I cleaning the family room and seemed a bit upset with Ranma. Then Ranma tried to mislead him, they got into a fight, and he was knocked unconscious." This caused raised eyebrows by Akane and a glance over at Ranma.

"Like I said, it wasn't anything too serious. I just got this thing that Pops helped me get under control when I was younger," Ranma explained. She shrugged and glanced around the room helplessly, questioning whether she should go ahead since this was a little embarrassing. "It's an oppressive compulsion, see. About, uhh, tidying up. Pops says it ain't something a guy should be doing, so he makes sure to point out when I start, well, straightening things up."

Akane gave her a flat stare. "You mean your Dad actually wants you to be a slob?"

"Something like that, he says I shouldn't do that kinda stuff 'cause it'll make girls feel useless if they can't clean up after their-" Watching the slowly darkening expression on Akane's face suddenly clued her in on exactly what she was saying and to whom. She immediately waved her hands in a panic, trying to distract her fiancee from her own words. "Uhh... forget I said that! I mean, it's not that _I_ think- that is, my Pops-"

Luckily, Kasumi interrupted and Akane turned her attention away from her with a scowl. Ranma let out a sigh of relief. Even if that hadn't gone horribly wrong and made Akane believe Ranma thought those kind of things, she suspected that without a viable target her fiancee's anger would have turned towards her. That statement probably hit a bit too close to the mark given Akane's little...

Oh. Huh. She wondered for a minute if her stupid pops wasn't onto something after all. In his dumb way, he might have latched onto something that actually made sense, even if he said it in a way guaranteed to get him a beating from any woman he so much as mentioned it to. There were a lot of expectations for women. With Akane's problem or curse or whatever, she couldn't do a lot of them and that might not do great things for her self-confidence.

It was possible, just a bit, that she might not have helped her fiancee with her jabs during their fights either. As she caught her name, she decided to shelve all that and think about it later though.

"...so you see, Ranma, I don't think that you have obsessive compulsive disorder."

"Right, cause my pops said it was an oppressive compulsion." Ranma interrupted. "That's some kind of curse or something, right?" This was obviously the wrong thing to say because Akane jumped all over it.

Gesturing towards her big sister, the tomboy said, "Weren't you listening at all, Ranma? Kasumi just got done explaining how your Dad probably meant obsessive compulsive disorder, which is a psychological condition that results in, well, obsessive and compulsive behavior. She should know, since she suffers from-"

"Oh, I don't have it either, Akane."

"Wait, what? What do you have then? You go to see your psychologist all the time." Akane looked confused. "It was the only thing that fit even a little. Nabiki and I were sure..." She trailed off, looking embarrassed again.

Ranma could understand that, since she had effectively just accused her big sister of being a crazy person. Kasumi didn't seem to take it amiss though and gave Akane a gentle, reassuring smile. "It's okay, Akane. I probably should have explained at some point. I did see Dr. Tanaka when I was younger in a professional capacity, but he is mostly just a friend at this point.

"We meet periodically to keep each other up to date after I ran into him again a few years ago. I am assured I have a clean bill of mental health."

Akane looked like she wanted to sink through the floorboards. "I... I have to go. I am so sorry, Kasumi. Really, really, sorry." She popped to her feet, bowed low enough that her nose was almost touching her knees, then just about ran out of the room. Ranma started to get up to follow her, but Kasumi laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Give her a little bit, Ranma." She looked thoughtful and stared towards the rooms of Akane and Nabiki without really seeing anything. "I will talk to her and Nabiki later."

Ranma let the gentle woman keep her seated and said, "If you're sure. Umm... are you gonna be able to explain without getting into, well, everything?" Obsessive and compulsive sounded just a bit on the nose to Ranma, but maybe it was a matter of degree or there was something else to it. After all, Kasumi wasn't any more obsessed with panties than she was with martial arts. Probably.

"I think so." Kasumi nodded, more to herself than her she thought, and she wondered how the accusation was sitting with her. She seemed to take everything in stride, but Ranma had seen the glimpses of insecurity when she first found out about all of this.

Despite her claims about Dr. Tanaka being a friend and his status as a doctor, she thought maybe his opinion didn't matter quite as much as her family's. And she had now found out that just like her mother, both of her sisters and possibly her father had thought there was something wrong with her. Without even knowing the truth. That had to hurt a little at least.

She reached out himself and put a hand on Kasumi's shoulder, resulting in a startled glance. "I think you're just fine the way you are, Kasumi. Don't worry too much about this- they were just tryin' to find an explanation for the psychologist visits. That's all there is to it."

Kasumi gave her a brilliant smile and she was left a little stunned as the homemaker actually leaned over and hugged her. The redhead squirmed a little as it stretched out, then Kasumi finally pulled away, her cheeks red and a suspicious glimmer in her eyes. Ranma gave her a hesitant smile in return, then decided it was time to lighten things up again- and she knew exactly how.

"Now, before we get distracted or interrupted again, we were discussing something earlier." Kasumi looked confused until Ranma stood up and made her way over to the dresser, where she reached in and pulled out the offending purple negligee again. She grinned as the brunette's cheeks pinked again, this time for a different reason.

"So you told me why you thought you could get away with this, but not why you did it. Any last defense before I render my verdict?"

Kasumi opened her mouth, but then shut it again, looking resolute. She finally continued in a voice not unlike the tone she had used with Akane, one expressing gentle understanding and regret that her actions had caused disharmony in the household. "I don't. I am sorry that I didn't wait for you to give me permission and I could have handled this better."

Ranma smiled at Kasumi to let her know she appreciated that. "Hear then my verdict in the case of Kasumi Tendo vs the manly sensibilities of Ranma Saotome. For the crime of ignoring Ranma's wishes in the matter of the purple nightgown, Kasumi loses access to it-"

Kasumi sighed as Ranma paused, her disappointment almost palpable. "-for a full month." She perked back up again, eyes widening as she realized that she would actually get it back. "And-" She was a little hesitant to take this step, but she thought the brunette had gotten the point. "I will give the whole..." Pausing again, the redhead tried to decide on a word and finally just kind of gestured towards the nightgown. "...thing, that you want some consideration, not just dismiss it out of hand."

Ranma gave Kasumi a crooked grin, wagging a finger at her. "That's not a hard and fast promise though. No deadlines!"

She had already done it once, after all, and it hadn't turned her into a girly girl. If she could pop into a dress to fool Ryoga just 'cause he was being an idiot, she could stand a little embarrassment for a friend. Kasumi did a lot for the Tendo household and if anyone deserved a reward, it was her. Though not as like... a regular thing. For special stuff maybe. Really special, like the equivalent of saving Akane from some nut job, whatever that would be in terms of household maintenance.

...

Standing in the dojo, Ranma took a deep breath and settled into a horse stance. Letting his hands rest on his knees, he concentrated upon his battle aura and slowly stoked it to a peak. It was hard when you weren't actually in a fight, or harder anyway.

Your battle aura was largely an involuntary reflex, which was part of the reason that even Akane pulled one up on a regular basis. In many ways, it was a lot simpler to maintain and utilize than accessing your chi directly. Half the work was done for you simply by being in a strong emotional state or having a bunch of adrenaline coursing through your body.

Of course, those strengths also made it a lot more difficult to practice or do things with it that were precise and measured. His old man had been moving with very exacting motions though and Ranma wanted to see whether he had really been completely suckered or if Genma had been about to pull out something he hadn't seen before. The martial artist had shown he was proficient at manipulating his battle aura in the past when he went toe to toe with Happosai after all.

Even if he had petered out like a damp candle in less than a minute.

Ranma had more than his fair share of experience with manipulating his own battle aura, most recently with the Hiryuu Shoten Ha training, but he had yet to pull off that giant trick that the old goat and his dad pulled out. Maybe this would actually give him a clue as to how they did it.

His battle aura finally in the visible spectrum, Ranma gradually pulled at it, trying to focus it around his hands like he had seen in the fight. All he was really doing was suppressing it everywhere but his hands though, the Soul of Ice almost reflex with this after his week in the mountains. Taking a deep breath, he let it out and released his control. Calm, but not complete-

"Trying to steal my techniques, boy?"

"Gaaah!" Ranma jumped up, seizing his chest and staring at his father with wide eyes. His old man just grinned at him, his glasses gleaming as he stepped forward out of the shadows. The young martial artist hated when he did that. He was such a putz most of the time when it came to sneaking around, but then every once in awhile he'd pull out all the stops and come out of nowhere.

Kasumi on the other hand just smiled and pulled her legs up under her as she bowed forward slightly from where she had been watching him against one of the dojo walls. "Hello, Uncle Saotome."

Ranma shot Kasumi a betrayed look. "You coulda warned me you know."

"You seemed very focused, I didn't want to interupt," she said serenely. Pushing herself to her feet, Kasumi added, "I'm going to go start dinner. I'll leave you to talk with your father."

Ranma nodded and waved her away, Genma nodding as she walked past him. As soon as she was out of the room, the pair leaped backwards to take their normal starting positions for sparring without needing to say a word.

Settling into one of the relaxed stances that were typical of the Saotome school, Ranma waited all of three seconds before surging forward towards his father. "Well, you were the one who wanted to talk, Pops. What did you want?"

"You know perfectly well, boy." A flurry of blows forced Ranma back across the polished wood floor of the dojo until he swept a leg out, forcing Genma to jump back. Neither combatant was really giving it their all, but they were providing their bodies something to do while their mouths worked. "You're falling into bad habits again. I've sacrificed too much towards preventing these destructive patterns of behavior to see you succumb to them now."

Ranma jabbed his father in the stomach. "Sacrificed? What did you sacrifice? A clean floor? You haven't missed nothin' you'd miss but a few meals you could afford. And a good bit less than myself."

"You wound me, Ranma. How often have I put my own stomach on the line to prevent you from suffering the worst effects of your own cooking?" Genma scowled at his son and swiped at the repeated attacks against his mid-section a bit more vigorously than they'd been bothering with so far. Taking the hint, the black haired boy jumped backwards and gave both of them some distance.

"Yeah, bout that, Pops." Ranma cracked his knuckles, his own expression getting a bit more grim. "Turns out Kasumi says I ain't half bad in the kitchen. And given how good her cooking is..."

"Ahh... no doubt a minor improvement now that you've had a good example to follow and the protection and guidance that I offered through your formative years." Genma sweated profusely. "A minor miracle given where you started!"

The sad thing was that Ranma couldn't even say for sure whether that was true or not. He could count on one hand the times he had ended up cooking only for himself and his father was always suspiciously attentive during the process when he was around. Something always seemed to go wrong. He thought it was a safe assumption his dad was up to something sneaky though. No one got that nervous when they had been up to anything good.

He finally decided to let it go. Kind of. "Yeah, you're a saint, Pops. Maybe we should see about having you apply your amazing talents to help Akane get over her little cookin' problems too."

Genma blanched and Ranma grinned evilly. Their experiences with her cooking during the training trip to counter the Breaking Point had been born out a few times since. No need for insider knowledge on weird Shinto rituals to make that threat credible. His father finally stammered out, "No need for that boy- ahh, perhaps we can overlook the cooking thing in the future. No need to get your wife up to par if you're a demon in the kitchen, ey? None of this constant cleaning though! You'll undo all the work we did on those ridiculous compulsions of yours."

"It ain't like that! I'm not doing this 'cause I want to or need to, so that stuff don't apply." Ranma flipped over his father, a quick kick sending the older man skidding across the room. He smirked briefly. The statement wasn't entirely accurate, but it was close enough to how it started. "'Sides, Kasumi says I don't have any oppressive compulsions anyway. And she'd know if anyone would, she's studied with tons of priests and monks and stuff." No point in mentioning the psych doctors, Genma didn't have much respect for them.

Genma charged, his blow bearing Ranma to the ground and initiating a grapple. "Aha! I knew it! The witch is forcing you into this and it's worse than I expected. Say the word, son, and I'll find a way to get you free of her clutches. Akane's the one for you!"

"Seriously, Pops? It's Kasumi! What the hell goes on in that head of yours?" Ranma tested his father's hold, then resorted to placing his feet on the man's chest and using main force to throw him up into the air. "Besides, if you're looking for a witch here, it's Nabiki. She's the reason I started this in the first place."

Genma frowned after he had landed, then moved back in for a few more blows. "What do you mean?"

"It's not like I started this out of the blue. I got a deal with Nabiki. I help Kasumi, she stops bugging me about money for rent and stuff or taking pictures to sell."

Genma paused, looking vaguely impressed. "And she actually bought into that? I didn't think you had it in you, boy. How long do you suppose you'll need to keep up the charade before she just assumes you're helping?"

Ranma didn't bother with a serious attack, he just smacked his father on the top of his head with a closed fist. "As long as we're here. No one really helps Kasumi out, Pops, and it ain't right. I ain't going to leave her high and dry now that I realized that. Not that she can't handle it, but it doesn't hurt nothing to help."

His father scowled, though he obviously wasn't phased by the actual attack. "That's where you're wrong, boy. And I'll prove it to you, just you wait." Genma stepped back towards the wall and pulled a staff down from it, a second later the weapon whipped towards Ranma and he inadvertently spun to watch it fly past. When he turned back, Genma was gone.

"Crazy old man."

...

Flicking one last sheet over the laundry line, Ranma grinned to himself. He was really getting a better handle on the whole iron cloth deal, though he wasn't honestly sure what he would do with it. Wasn't like he really needed a weapon most times and even Ryoga didn't bother with it a lot since that whole thing with Akane's hair. Maybe armor or something?

He shrugged. It was worth knowing and that was about enough for today anyway. Walking inside, he poured himself and Kasumi a glass of lemonade, then walked back outside to get the basket for the eldest Tendo sister. Pausing, the plastic cup he was using flexed as his fist clenched and he looked over the work he had spent the past half hour or so on. Every single sheet that he had worked on rather than Kasumi was scrawled upon with what looked like mud. In a rather crude approximation of his own handwriting. What was "Red Sake" even supposed to mean?

...

Grabbing the dishes after lunch, Ranma quickly tossed them into a tall wavering pile reminiscent of his work at the cat cafe. Leaving only the containers with minute amounts of leftovers. An artifact of the fact that Genma hadn't been at lunch for some reason. Probably because Ranma still wanted to have a little "talk" with him about the sheets this morning.

Quickly divvying up the stack of dishes into neat organized piles that would be easier for Kasumi to wash later, Ranma turned back to grab the food and his lips thinned. In the approximately thirty seconds he had his back turned a set of the same dishes he had just brought in had turned up, covered with a thin veneer of the food that had been left over. Though not enough to cover the fact that there were no longer any leftovers remaining.

Stalking over to the new dishes, he looked down at a partially completed kanji for "No work" in sauce. There was the start of another kanji beside it, but it wasn't far enough along to identify. Still... Ranma cracked his knuckles. He really needed to have that talk with his dad.

...

Ranma's left eye twitched as he stared at the little figurine lying on its side on the a shelf. He carefully righted it, stared at it for perhaps a full minute to ensure it wasn't wobbly, then turned away. He immediately spun around again, only to find the figurine on its side again. Similar to the way the pillows returned to the floor and the chairs pulled themselves away from the desk and the... He paused, took a deep breath and closed his eyes to stop the persistent twitching. He was determined to actually accomplish something he didn't need to turn over to Kasumi today. It just... apparently was not going to be this.

...

Staring at the Dojo, Ranma nodded to himself. Even at the peak of Genma's obsession about his oppressive compulsions he had been allowed to clean the dojos of the various schools they stayed at to learn. It was just one of those things that was expected of any student of the art. It had been a little while since the Tendo dojo had received a thorough cleaning, so no reason he couldn't do that today.

He had Kasumi watching from the other side of the dojo, a bucket of hot soapy water, a wash cloth, and what should be a generally inoffensive activity. Taking no chances, he reached in and wrung out the wash cloth, then tested it on the floor. Spotless. Assuming the standard position he dashed across the floor with his hands firmly spread out to catch the dirt.

Having moved fairly quickly across the length of the room, he was just standing when he heard Kasumi gasp and as he turned around he saw that the entire line that he had just cleaned was smeared with dust and dirt. Worse than when he had started in fact. Hearing a tearing noise, he looked down at his hands and noted that the rag he had been using was now in four pieces.

Perhaps it was time to break. Time for a break rather. His eye twitched.

...

Ranma stalked through the Tendo dojo like a tig- like a wolf on the prowl. The past day had been... let's just call it challenging. His mind flicked through the events that had set him to hunting his father in rapid succession.

While his Pops hadn't actually touched anything but his son's work, this needed to be settled now. If he saw one more teacup replace itself on a table or pile of dirt mysteriously reappear after he'd thrown it in the garbage he was going to pull from his dad's own playbook and lock the old fraud in a cave with a stack of dynamite. He might even show enough filial piety to use a small bundle, rather than the amount the two Masters of Anything Goes should have used on Happosai.

He could be the bigger man. He could, maybe, admit that this was getting to him and the oppressive compulsions Genma harped on about when he was a kid might still be a problem. He could. But he wouldn't. No, he would take pleasure in showing his Pops exactly what he thought about his little demonstrations the old fashioned way.

After all, it wasn't like anyone else who was seeing their own hard work destroyed wouldn't feel exactly the same way. Even if it had taken only a single day for his old man to break him, which probably wasn't normal with something like this. It hadn't exactly been subtle, but he couldn't deny the effects. To himself. His dad was going to get nothing out of this. There was no way he was rewarding him for this kind of behavior. Two could play that game.

It took him another hour, including no less than five checks with Kasumi on whether the old man was really still in the house and where, before he finally cornered him. In the broom closet no less, though with the nonchalant way he simply coughed and stepped out brushing off his gi you would have thought he had been lounging in front of the television.

Ranma pondered whether to bother with accusations or not. If his old man was playing innocent, there was no way he would get him to admit his guilt, so why even bother. For the moment, he just crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the panda in front of him. He would get his anger under control and ignore any provocation. Soul of Ice. And then he would beat his father black and blue.

"Well, boy? What do you say now?" Genma asked, adjusting his glasses conspicuously and apparently taking up their conversation exactly where they had left it earlier.

Screw it, the Soul of Ice was for battles and this was an argument. "Stop being an ass?" he asked sarcastically.

"You wound me, Ranma! Do you not see now why you should avoid all this cleaning and woman's frippery? The curse that hounds your very steps-"

"You mean you?" Ranma glared at Genma.

His father switched abruptly from indignant righteous patriarch to complete innocent. If he wasn't trying to win an argument, Ranma was pretty sure he would be a panda right about now. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's so obviously you. You've even been signing them, you idiot!"

"That wasn't me, I saw those sheets, it was your handwriting, boy." Ranma sighed, exasperated again rather than simply angry. Genma couldn't possibly expect Ranma to believe that had been a magical curse, right?

"I've seen you fake my handwriting before, old man."

"Perhaps you think you have, but what if it was just your own mind playing-" No, he did. Of course, he did. What else should he have expected. The elaborate constructions he had created in his head where his father showed exactly why helping Kasumi would lead into more dangerous activity that could influence his behavior in the future and prevent him from accomplishing his goal of being the best evaporated.

Ranma pointed at him, interrupting some made up story about his childhood and weird memory lapses or something. "You were hiding from me for over an hour! I found you in the broom closet!"

"Not you boy, I wasn't hiding from you. It was the effects of the curse I was avoiding! I couldn't stand to see it take hold in you once more- not knowing who or what you are at any moment, the degenerate behavior, the destruction you would wreak upon your environment!" Genma wept, tears streaming from his eyes as he stared into the distance with a stoic expression upon his face. It might have almost been moving if Ranma hadn't seen it for something as simple as his managing to steal the last pickle.

"That would be the other curse you inflicted on me, old man. A certain c-c-feline fist? Ring a-" He stopped, eyeing his father and going back to his original plan. This wasn't getting him anywhere. "Ok, you know what, it isn't worth it, I've had enough of this. I challenge you."

The tears dried up instantly and Genma rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Do you now? And what are the stakes?"

"You stop or I do, simple as that." Ranma wasn't going to give his father any loopholes to wriggle out of in this. He had learned that a long time ago. Keep it short and simple.

"And the rules?"

Ranma scoffed. "The usual. We meet tomorrow afternoon by the canal so we have some room to really let loose. No walls or dojo to constrain us. Just me, you, and a couple witnesses."

"Assuming I agree that I can put a stop to this devilish curse if you somehow win, you agree that you will abandon all these attempts at cleaning and such in the future when you lose. No going back on your word now?" Genma appeared calculating, no doubt trying to decide whether it was worth it or not. Maybe whether it was worth revealing what in the hell he had been using for his tricks today.

Glowering at his father, the younger martial artist bit out, "I'm not you. My word is good. You better keep yours too."

"Very well. Your challenge is accepted."

...

Ranma sighed as he looked around. Him, the old man, and a couple witnesses. Right. So, of course, half of Nerima got word and showed up in response. His fiancees in the vanguard selling food. Well, most of his fiancees. If Akane had been in the mix Nabiki would have been making a killing on stomach pumps.

He was pretty damn good, one of the best in fact. He had secret techniques, was strong and fast, and had been trained by some of the best of the best. He and his father fought on a regular basis and he won as often as he lost. Maybe more lately. But he was sure the old man had been holding something back. After all, one of the "best of the best" who had trained him _was_ his pops. Genma had been by his side when he learned almost every single one of his techniques and there was no one who knew his style better.

Just based on his actions yesterday, Ranma knew his dad was serious about this. He didn't put that kind of effort into just anything and keeping himself hidden from Ranma and Kasumi throughout all of it, not to mention moving as fast as he must have... he couldn't say when he had seen Genma work harder. There was something about this that made Genma determined to shut down this little deal with Nabiki, even if he wouldn't come out and say it.

Still, he had a plan, possibly a good one. It might not play out like he expected, but if it failed, it just meant they were back to an even fight. If it did... Ranma grinned. It would be beautiful. The perfect revenge for the other day.

He had calmed down a bit since yesterday, particularly since he had composed his plan, but in order for it to be really effective he had to look like he had a good head of steam still. Enough that he would be willing to do almost anything to win the fight. He figured with the training he had for the Soul of Ice, he should be able to fake it well enough.

As Soun stepped forward, calling out the rules of the match, though not the forfeits, Ranma readied himself and watched his father do the same. When the "Begin!" rang out, both he and Genma rushed each other, meeting in mid-air in a flurry of feet, fists, and blows with any other part of the body they could manage.

Regardless of how good his peers became, he suspected they would never really reach this level in the air. It was one of the things he liked best about fighting his dad. The Saotome school was heavily rooted in mid-air combat and only he could provide a challenge that wasn't completely one sided when both combatants met there- one way or the other. The old ghoul and the pervert could manage too obviously, but the balance of power went the other way there.

After Genma and he had spent a few minutes testing each other, Ranma decided it was time to see how well his strategy would work. Ducking low, he plastered a fierce scowl on his lips and flew forward at just above waist level on his father. Reaching back, he called out, "Happo Happy Touch!" and swung his fist forward.

The results were all he could have hoped for and more. His father went absolutely white, his guard dropped almost completely, and he covered his privates with both hands as he started to curl into a fetal position. The cry of "No! Not again!" was beautiful. Though perhaps not as much as when Ranma's punch took his father in the face rather than the low blow his body was instinctively readying itself for in response to the battle cry.

The rest of the fight was all but over at that point.

Admittedly, Genma was a tough bastard and it still took several minutes before he fell unconscious, but he never recovered from that initial scare. The time he had spent today visibly buttering up the old pervert had definitely been worth it to sell the move to his Dad, but it had been the end of Kasumi's story that had really given him the idea.

...

Early that morning, Ranma had been lounging on the floor while Kasumi cleaned, his father off preparing for the battle while he thought through it himself. Training wasn't going to do anything here- he couldn't pull off anything significant in a single day. He needed a distraction, something to let his subconscious work on the problem.

Genma and he had an armistice at the moment, so he couldn't help out Kasumi directly, but he had gotten used to spending an hour or two each day with her.

Sitting up, he turned towards the homemaker, who was humming to herself. "So, Kasumi, you never did give me the end of that story, how'd your training work out?"

"My training?" Kasumi stopped her song and looked confused, then brightened in recollection. "Oh, yes. The Happo Happy Touch."

Ranma asked, "And something from your Pops, right? What'd he give you?"

"To be honest, I don't recall exactly what Father taught me, though I think it was a punch of some kind. He didn't take me quite as seriously as Grandfather." She smiled in recollection. "It was still useful, but I don't think it quite stood out like I had been hoping. I did manage to get both down before I was cornered again perhaps a month or so later though."

* * *

Facing off against the boys who had cornered her when she tried to run for the school building, Kasumi took a deep breath and let it out just like Daddy taught her. The boys snickered as she settled into her stance and she focused upon the feel of the cheek power in herself and then in the underwear that the bullies around her were wearing.

As she heard two of them start moving towards her, Kasumi opened her eyes and fought to keep that instinctive feel for her opponent's silky friends. Though they were apparently a rougher cotton than her own or- eyes widening, the little girl just barely ducked under a punch that she had been too distracted to see coming. Her hand lashed out in the straight punch that Daddy had taught her, guided by the Happo Happy Touch and the boy crumpled, his eyes crossing and his hands dropping between his legs.

The next boy was still gaping when the same thing happened to him and then Kasumi was running towards the other bullies. Outside of a few "No Fairs!" and "That's cheating!" the remainder of the bullies save one went down in a single punch each or ran away. The last one jumped backwards and assumed a martial arts stance of his own instead.

"You're not gonna get me with that! I know martial arts too _and_ I've got a bratty little sister like you who likes to hit me there! I've been defending against that kind of crap for years!" Moving more cautiously towards her, the boy took a swing at Kasumi that she was a little too slow to block and she was forced backwards. Eyes tearing up, she felt at her tender cheek, then firmed her resolve.

She would show them. Jumping at the boy, she attacked with kicks and punches, but each one was blocked cleanly by the black-haired child before he attacked again and pushed her back. He was sneering now and she felt tears of frustration join the ones the punch had elicited earlier.

"I told you. I'm super good at that- you might get through a punch somewhere else if you're lucky, but I'm going to teach you a lesson before you do."

Kasumi took another deep breath, realizing she had lost track of her cheek power when he hit her and closed her eyes again, feeling for it. This boy was a bad person, so his lovelies certainly couldn't be very well treated.

"Giving up? Too bad, you shoulda done that before you started hitting my friends!" Not bothering to open her eyes this time, the little girl just waited for the moment when her opponents cheek power got close enough and then lashed out in that same straight-forward punch she had used on the first boy.

She heard a squeak and opened her eyes. Her opponent fell over and she heard him whimper, "Mommy."

"Yay! I win!" Kasumi jumped up and down happily. Right up until a teacher finally investigated the ruckus and she remembered that regardless of what her Mommy said about protecting herself, she had still been on a warning for the last fight.

* * *

Ranma stared at Kasumi, his legs crossed slightly in an almost subconscious protective gesture. "You know, I take back what I said earlier. You are a _really_ scary chick."

Kasumi blushed. "I am a bit more aware of what it was actually intended for now then I was when I was 6. Plus, I have seen Grandfather use it quite frequently since he returned.

At the time though, I was quite proud of myself. While I kept the name secret, I was able to use it on father to win several times in a row and I had never managed that before."

Ranma blinked. Was Kasumi still not actually aware that punching a guy in the nuts was just something you absolutely did not do in anything short of a real fight? It was one thing on the bullies, but doing that to old man Tendo, that was just mean and she just sounded faintly embarrassed about the perverted stuff it was used for by Happosai.

Pausing, the martial artist said, "So the old goat taught you a secret technique to punch people... there." For some reason, he couldn't quite bring himself to actually name it in front of Kasumi. He wondered off hand if that was the reason she had managed to land it several times on her father. You would think he would have warned her off after the first time at least.

"Wait, I thought it just let you kind of... touch things through clothes?"

Kasumi nodded at that, then explained further. "It lets you avoid, well... obstructions I suppose is the best way of putting it. I mentioned that it was kind of like a magnet? Well, it sort of guides you around any defenses, even if they are active. It's really quite wonderful, though Mother, of course, explained that it wasn't appropriate to use in public."

"Man, I bet my Pops hated that one. The old goat's fire crackers are one thing, but that's just..." Trailing off, Ranma let an evil grin cross his features and popped up from the floor in one smooth motion. Kasumi jumped a bit at the sudden motion and Ranma waved to her. "I got to go get ready for the match, Kasumi. If you could, make sure you make Happosai's favorite for lunch."

He definitely had to sell this to his pops, and lunch was the only time he could be guaranteed to see him today before the match.

* * *

As Genma slipped back into a conscious state, he opened one bleary eye and saw Happosai pop up out of the crowd crowing in victory. "I knew it, I knew it! Bwahahaha." The old man was practically dancing in excitement, his gaze rapidly switching between Ranma and Kasumi as he made some kind of calculation.

"You! You're the one that's been watching me and Kasumi!" Ranma pointed accusingly at the Grandmaster of Anything Goes and the old man leered at the younger practitioner. Kasumi blushed as the entire crowd's attention swiveled to her and just about everyone outside of Ranma, Happosai, and the demure brunette blanched white in disbelief.

Ranma smacked his hand over his eyes as the attention turned to him again and battle auras sprung up around fiancees, suitors, and half the other martial artists and non-martial artists in the crowd. "Damn it. Not again."

Unable to move, Genma watched his son dive under the first barrage of weapons thrown his way and then jump onto the fence and over as the the side of the canal emptied of everyone save himself, Happosai, and Kasumi.

Kasumi smiled hesitantly, seeming at a loss and Genma wondered exactly what the old man had actually seen that sent him into such a tizzy. The man was a voyeur, but he wasn't sure why he would have popped up and outed his son and Soun's daughter just after the fight like that. He supposed if they were that far along, they had best transfer the engagement though. It wouldn't be that bad. Perhaps he could reason with Kasumi, explain to her why Ranma couldn't continue helping her clean.

"The boys wouldn't have mentioned that you know," Happosai said after a minute. He grinned at Kasumi widely and started walking around her, seeming to measure her up.

Still looking confused, Kasumi asked, "Pardon? Wouldn't have mentioned what?"

"The Happo Happy Touch, of course." Happosai spun his pipe absently and added, "Hell, I'd forgotten about that little break through of yours after that little nap they forced on me in the first place." Genma grew more than a bit confused himself. He certainly hadn't mentioned it to the boy. If Happosai had forgotten it, then he couldn't have taught Ranma in time for the fight. Well, pretended to teach Ranma, so if that was-

He felt a shiver run up his spine as he re-parsed the second half of the Master's statement. Happosai couldn't have just said what he thought he'd heard.

"What break through is that, Grandfather?" Damn it, he had heard that right. It couldn't be though. The final straw that broke the camel's back. The Demon's most dreaded technique. An attack so horrible that even he wouldn't use it unless he was so angry and drunk he could barely see straight. (A more common occurrence than one might expect, unfortunately.)

Happosai cackled and said, "Using the Happo Happy Touch as an attack, of course. Never thought of it in better than two centuries and you adapted it in a month." He finished his circuits around Kasumi and stood in front of her. His grin was still positively maddening.

"So... it wasn't? But you were teaching me a special technique to deal with bullies, weren't you?" Kasumi still seemed at a bit of a loss, younger than he had seen her appear before this, though she was rapidly regaining the calm, steady presence Genma had grown to know over the past six months. In light of that time this conversation actually took on an almost surreal tone, but it was accompanied by mounting horror.

Shaking his head, Happosai said, "Not at all. You never mentioned them. Didn't find out till I saw you training with your Dad afterwards, demonstrating your achievement and telling the story. That was just the next step in your training." Genma's eyes widened and he desperately clamped down on the moan that tried to escape. It wasn't just a one off thing.

"And speaking of training, what say you start up again? Had no idea you'd kept up with it. You've got a fine touch, certainly. I thought one of my old rivals was in the neighborhood. You're not quite the rambunctious little brat who took so well to my teachings."

At this, Kasumi gave Happosai a pleasant smile that it took Genma a moment to identify as fond. Fond! Of Happosai! "I would love to study under you again, Grandfather Happosai."

"Bwahhahaha! Finally, an acknowledged and official heir to-"

Kasumi interrupted in a daring act that Genma knew he and Soun would be hard pressed to match. He hadn't thought her as foolish as Ranma under that steady exterior. "Oh, but we can't actually tell anyone you see. I promised."

"What? How are you going to train the next generation if no one knows to seek you out?" Happosai appeared more than a bit put out and Genma felt a moment of hope. If this fell through and nothing came of it he could attempt to drink himself to the point where the entire day was erased from his memory. He would never have to tell Tendo that he had raised the next Happosai as his own daughter.

"My, that is a problem, but I'm afraid I did promise," Kasumi said regretfully. "Mother was very firm."

From his position a bit closer to the Master, Genma heard him mutter, "Interfering biddy. Nice rack on her though." The stocky martial artist thought it was probably just as well it was low enough that Kasumi didn't hear it. Kimiko had been a frightening woman at times. Almost as scary as his own wife. When Happosai next spoke it was louder though, the same boisterous tones that most of this discussion had taken.

"I'll tell you what, Kasumi dear. How about we have a bit of a challenge to decide it then? A test like the old days. Your panty collecting skills versus mine. Mano a man-err womano?" Happosai cajoled, his expression calculating and as sly as anything Genma had ever seen on him.

Kasumi wavered, her expression fretful, but she finally said, "That would be fun, but... I just-"

"And I'll throw in this." Happosai pulled out a box. A fancy box, admittedly. Possibly a puzzle box of some kind based on the etching and something that would have made Genma's hands itch if it wasn't in the Master's possession. That didn't explain Kasumi's reaction though.

"Yes!" Kasumi reached for the box with wide, surprised eyes, then apparently realized what she had said. "Wait! I didn't mean..."

Happosai let loose another cackling laugh, tossing the box to Kasumi, who caught it and hugged it to her chest, her eyes still wide. "Too late, dear. It's a challenge- one week from today, we begin. If you lose, you publically assume your role as a true heir to the Anything Goes School. If you win, I keep quiet about the whole thing."

Genma felt faint as the visions he had of Kasumi domesticating Ranma were replaced with the boy in female form, bound with lingerie and calling her mistress. As everything went black, he heard only two words to cap off the day.

"Oh my."


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Notes:** So, I wanted to ensure I got this in before the end of tonight so I could at least say it only took me a year to finish the first arc of Anything Goes Laundry Service. This is not the end, but I think that this can pretty much be considered a complete story at least. I definitely want to see more of where this goes, but I think this stands on its own fairly well.

==========================================  
Anything Goes Laundry Service  
Chapter 5

Humming happily to himself, Happosai jotted down another note on the sheet that he was slowly filling. After that disaster with the Happo Fire Burst, he was taking the writing a bit more slowly. It was high time that the School actually had a proper heir, everything on the up and up as it were.

The problem with that was that it had been long enough since he had actually tried to do something fully legitimate-like that he couldn't quite recall how it went. So he was brainstorming. It couldn't be that hard after all, there were plenty of people who got by every day without lying, cheating, or stealing.

Admittedly, the only one he knew of was Kasumi, but it still happened. Twirling the pen he was using absently, the wind from the motion causing the panties hanging on lines in the room to flap lightly, he paused, then jotted down another few words.

Pausing to examine the list, he considered the first bullet point:

"Handicap. Skill different. Time?"

That seemed safe enough. Give the girl a bit more time than himself for collecting. He'd still win, of course, but that should make it seem, no, it would make it more fair. He nodded to himself and moved on to the next item:

"No count current collection?"

This was a bit harder to bear, but it would probably not be fair to count the hundred years or so of panties he had gathered since the great fire of 1898. The memory made him pause and he sniffled for a moment, then bowed his head and said a little prayer. Clapping his hands once, he put that tragedy out of his mind and returned to the task at hand.

Besides, if he knew those lousy ingrates he called apprentices and the rest of the family, they'd be trying to sabotage his little contest here. No need to give them more innocents to target.

The third and fourth bullet points were mainly about limiting the battle:

"Nerima only?" and "Collecting only during contest"

This seemed fair, if Happosai was going to give little Kasumi a head start, it wouldn't really do for him to be collecting during that time and getting in her way. Even if they didn't count towards his own totals.

At least, it wouldn't do for him to be collecting in the same area. If he set Nerima as the boundary for their little game, why, then for the week or whatever he ended up giving the girl before hand he would simply have to operate a little outside his normal hunting grounds. He'd even give her a little padding to let the lovelies build up a bit.

That left only the last point:

"No help."

He stared at this for a moment longer than the others. He was pretty sure that line would probably disqualify Kasumi outright, even if she herself didn't countenance it. There was no way her family was going to leave things as it were and besides, he wanted to make this sporting and really test little Kasumi and her skills. No need to let the kids automatically break the rules.

Scrawling two more words next to the original sentence, he re-examined the line:

"No help.- liberating lingerie."

That should work. Someone else touches a silky darling first, then it didn't count. Simple, easy to monitor, and it should mean that little Kasumi was at least involved in gathering up her silky darlings even if Ranma or someone else helped her really get into the spirit of things. It was also a great test of her senses, and, of course, his own were without question. Both of them should be able to identify if someone else had interfered.

He thought she'd appreciate the testing process anyway and it might do the real job by itself. There was nothing quite like going through a collection with each other to really bond a master and apprentice. It would be a beautiful moment, like seeing one's own granddaughter grow up. He wiped a tear away from his eye and sighed happily.

He wasn't quite sure if it would be sufficient to keep Genma out of things though. That boy had picked up some tricks while he was out that could throw things a bit. He'd simply have to have a word with his wayward apprentice to ensure he behaved. Or maybe keep him busy keeping Soun distracted.

Cackling to himself, Happosai drew a box around the five bullets, scribbled "Fair Contest" next to it, then went back to plotting out the rest of what he would need for his plans. He thought he might go call on little Yasuda Michi. The cutie still owed him a few favors for rescuing her from that beast she had been married to and she worked in that Dai Ichi place her father ran. Surely she could write up something suitably impressive looking and indecipherable that would hold up better than a contract scrawled on a paper napkin.

After all, the contest needed to be fair. What came after was for the good of the school and little Kasumi herself.

* * *

Shuddering, Ranma turned back to Kasumi with a worried expression as Happosai continued cackling and giggling to himself in his bedroom. Putting a finger up to his lips, he and the mistress of the Tendo household moved quietly down the hall and into the living room.

Looking back towards Happosai's room, Ranma said, "That can't possibly bode well for the contest."

"Perhaps he is just reading a funny story?" Kasumi asked, though she seemed a little doubtful herself. By the time they had reached the table, she seemed to have banished those doubts though, sinking onto a pillow gracefully and again assuming the quiet stillness that characterized her. Her hands, however, told a different story, as they twisted the small bundle of clothing that she had just ironed fretfully.

"You doing okay, Kasumi?" Ranma settled down on the other side of the living room table, leaning forward intently. He wanted to make sure she knew he was here for her. Though if Akane walked in and saw this after that scene at the canal yesterday she was likely to brain him. Followed up by Ukyou, Shampoo, and Kodachi. He'd deal with that when it happened though. Kasumi hadn't really had to deal with Happosai before, not as an adult anyway.

Nodding, the brunette said, "I am. It is a little sudden. I mean, it has only been a week or two since you found out about... you know." She glanced around the open space, apparently a bit more wary of being overheard after finding out Happosai knew.

Ranma just nodded and watched Kasumi as she talked about what she had done the previous night and wondered what "Grandfather Happosai" had in mind in her usual pleasant tones. He thought the little batch of dresses in her hands were probably going to need some attention again after she was done though. Every once in awhile, her movements would also still and she pulled out a box from under the clothing.

She had been carrying that ever since the fight yesterday. He didn't think he had seen her without it even once and he suddenly thought he recognized it, though he had never seen it.

Interrupting her, Ranma nodded towards the object and said, "Is that it?" He paused and clarified. "The one you were missing I mean." She had mentioned why she accidentally agreed to the match with the King of Lechers, of course, but he hadn't put two and two together for some reason until just now.

Smiling shyly, Kasumi pulled out the box and displayed it to him. "Yes, isn't it wonderful?" She hugged it to her chest and Ranma had to fight to keep a grin off his face. She looked like a kid in a candy store- right after their parents purchased it. "Would you like to see them?"

"I kinda doubt I'll appreciate it as much as you do, but sure."

Placing it eagerly on the table between the two of them, Kasumi leaned over the box. Sliding the top this way and that, she finally grinned up at him with an expression that he suspected she hadn't used much since she was a little girl. When she lifted the lid of the box though, the expression turned into a thoughtful frown because the rest of the box came along with it.

Ranma tried not to laugh, but her expression was priceless. "I'm guessing you haven't actually opened it since you got it back from Happosai? I'm kind of surprised."

"I couldn't quite bring myself to open it, it's been missing so long that..." Giving a small moue of annoyance, she said, "Hold on a moment, I must have..." Her voice trailed off as she returned to the puzzle, but her next two tries also failed and she finally gave up with another small noise of frustration.

Looking like a kicked puppy, she said, "I don't remember how to open it."

"You'll get it eventually, Kasumi." Ranma shrugged. He really was surprised that she had waited this long given how she had talked about it when he first walked in on her. "You managed to do it when you were 4. I kinda doubt it's going to take you all that long."

"But I had clues then, Grandfather's help."

Ranma reached over and grabbed the box, picking it up and examining it himself. It didn't look like nothing special really or at least he didn't quite see the appeal. "Well, yeah, but it ain't like you can't ask him again if you need to."

He eyed the container again. The box was well built, but as he hefted it a couple times he didn't think the wood could be that strong. A good quick blow and it should pop open- or pop apart maybe. Somehow he didn't think Kasumi would go for that solution though.

She perked up at his last statement though. "That's true. Perhaps I'll go do that now." She was up so quickly that Ranma only barely got a chance to stop her, holding up a hand and causing her to slow and look back at him quizzically.

"Maybe after the competition?" Ranma suggested. He had kind of been looking for a chance to bring something up after she had told him what happened when he ran- after he used the Saotome secret technique yesterday and now was as good a time as any. "Not a big deal, but we don't exactly know what's involved. No point giving up anything you don't need ta, even information. Let him think you've got it under control."

"But...?" Kasumi looked at the puzzle box regretfully, then back towards Happosai's room. He suspected that she might also want to talk with a kindred spirit now that her secret was out with him. He needed to head that off at the pass for the moment though.

"You should probably keep trying for a bit on your own anyway, don't ya think? Don't want Happosai to think you weren't willing to give it your all, do you?" Ranma's lips twitched into a self satisfied smirk for a moment. That one had been kind of sneaky.

Kasumi appeared to give this some careful thought, then nodded and placed the box back into the pile of dresses she had been carrying around. He wondered absently when she had snatched that back without him noticing. "That is a good point."

Ranma paused and tried to decide whether to broach his question now, then decided there would never really be a good time. He might as well do it now. "So, I do kind of have to ask something though."

"Yes?" Kasumi appeared ready to tell another story, but this wasn't that kind of question.

"Do you actually want to do this?" Ranma thought it was a good question. He couldn't really imagine throwing a challenge, not a real one anyway. Real being somewhat arbitrarily defined, of course. However, Kasumi wasn't a martial artist, he thought she might-

"Of course!" Kasumi appeared almost hurt that he had questioned her convictions.

-have no doubts at all apparently. He might have called that wounded pride on anyone other than the eldest Tendo sister, but with Kasumi it was more like disappointment in him and questioning herself. It made him feel like a heel, though... it was entirely possible they weren't on the same page in this conversation.

"Not the box, I mean this competition Happosai bribed you into accepting," Ranma clarified.

"Oh." Kasumi dithered for a moment, appearing a bit torn on how to answer the question. After a moment though, she sank back down to the table and set down her bundle before placing her hands into her lap. Her eyes seemed locked upon her clasped fingers and she didn't meet Ranma's eyes.

"I... it's not about want, really," Kasumi said after a minute. Her voice was actually surprisingly steady given the nervousness he had seen up to this point and it had that strange conviction that he had come to associate with her over the last week or two. "I won't lie and say that it wouldn't please me if my sisters and father knew at least.

"I very much dislike having to... to keep secrets from them." Ranma thought that might have started out as lying, but he knew by now that Kasumi didn't like to even think of herself as lying. The girl was looking straight at him now, though her hands were still firmly folded in her lap. "Perhaps you think it's silly, but I need to do everything in my power to keep my promise to Mother. If I lose, it won't be the end of the world, but I need to be able to face her and tell her that I tried."

Ranma smiled slightly. "I told ya I must have lost my Mom real young, since I don't remember her at all. That don't mean I think it's silly to respect your memory of her though.

"No. All I was really trying to see was if you really thought this was something you could do, but it sounds like you want to go ahead with this thing." His smile broadened into a grin as he thought about how sweet it would be to see Happosai beaten at his own game.

"So let's talk tactics."

...

"Hey, Nabiki!" Ranma increased his speed a little to catch up to the girl heading back upstairs, her arms laden with snacks and juice. He grabbed those from her and gave her a suave smile. "Let me help you with those."

His actions got him a raised eyebrow that spoke volumes. He wasn't sure what it actually said, but he was sure it was meant to imply any number of things.

"So you've forgiven me, Ranma?" Nabiki's voice had a light playful tone that said she knew exactly what he intended, but she always sounded like that so he ignored it. He had kind of forgotten he had been giving her the silent treatment after the mess with his father the other day.

He shrugged and said, "Uh, yeah, I guess so." She simply nodded and started walking again, slipping into her bedroom and pointing to the table next to her bed as she twirled around and dropped onto her mattress. He dutifully deposited her snacks on the stand.

Leaning back, Nabiki rested on her palms and crossed her legs, then said, "So what's up? Looking to add the third Tendo sister to your harem?" She gave him a considering look, then shook her head with a sad, regretful sigh he was really hoping was fake. "I'm afraid you're wasting your time. Ask Kasumi, but I never really shared my toys when I was a little girl and I'm not about to start with boys now."

Ranma choked, staring at Nabiki with wide eyes before finally getting control of himself and yelling, "No! Why- I mean- What would even-" His response ended in a sputtering spate of words even he didn't recognize, his thoughts dissolving into a tangled mess, and he only got a hold of himself as Nabiki started laughing at him.

"You are so easy, Ranma." She grinned, not unlike a ca- a certain type of creepy small animal and he scowled at her. "So what do you really want?"

Putting his aggravation aside, he tried to remember why he had voluntarily initiated contact with Nabiki in the first place. Ahh, right. "I wanted to know if you had a printer."

"Just a printer?"

"Ahh, maybe the computer too... and well, I wanted to know if you could make something like this look real." He thrust out the sheet of paper he had been keeping in his pocket, slightly wrinkled and folded up into fourths. Nabiki took the small square and unfolded it to reveal his not exactly stunning artwork and writing skills.

"ROSE KRIS firesale... going out of business... all lingerie, women's clothes, and swimsuits must go," she read out loud, her eyes cutting up to Ranma as she finished. She gave him a thoughtful look and said, "I assume this is for Hap-" The thoughtful look turned into a glare as he covered the distance between the two in a second and clapped his hand over the middle Tendo sister's mouth.

"Shh..." He glanced around and sighed in relief when the little pervert didn't show up, then yelped as sharp teeth bit into his fingers. He snatched his hand away, shaking it and hissing, "Look, I just didn't want him showing up. Just don't say his name while he's in the house. He's got a sixth sense for that kind of thing.

"Anyway, it's important. I need to get rid of him for a little while." This didn't lessen the glower that Nabiki was turning his way and he flailed for something to say that would convince her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn'ta jumped on you like that."

He paused, suddenly aware of how that sounded and glanced fearfully towards Akane's room. When there was no sound of slamming doors or yells of outrage, he turned back. When he glanced at her again, Nabiki's death gaze had softened due to the amused smirk she was wearing. He took it as a positive and continued. "So can ya do it? It's not just for me."

Leaning down, Nabiki picked up the fake flier again, clicking her tongue as she looked it over. "I suppose I could. First though, no way is anyone going to believe that ROSE KRIS is going out of business, let alone that they would advertise with something this tacky."

"But Kasu- I mean, I heard that was the best shop in the area." Ranma was a little frustrated, that had been Kasumi's first choice when he asked her about it. He needed to distract Happosai and they had discussed that, but he wanted her reaction to be authentic, so he had told her he would handle the details. His questions had been a little oblique he supposed, but he thought he had gotten what he needed.

"Exactly," Nabiki said, as if that explained everything. When he gave her a blank look, she sighed as if he was being particularly dense. "It's the most popular store in Nerima for women's clothes. It's chic, sophisticated and in absolutely no danger of going out of business."

He supposed that made sense. "So I should use a different one?"

She nodded. "Either that or a slight change to the advertisement. I suppose it's supposed to get him out of the house?" He nodded in an echo of her own gesture from a moment ago. She continued, "Well, what might work better for him is..." She tapped her lips in thought, then grabbed a pen from her desk and flipped the paper over, scribbling over it for a minute or so before handing it back.

He looked over the revised advertisement and his mouth opened slightly. This was really good. Rather than the mall flier that he had put together, Nabiki had created something that looked like an oversized formal invitation. It invited her and Kasumi to attend a tailored fitting session with other "highly valued customers" in order to clear out the store's autumn lineup in preparation for winter.

"Wow, this is amazing."

His comment got a pleased smile from Nabiki and she leaned down, flicking on the computer sitting under her desk. Pulling the dust cover off of the small monitor that was off to one side, she then spun in her seat to face him as nonsense words scrolled past on the glass. "Thank you. Now... what will you give me to use it? Paper and ink aren't free you know. To say nothing of my own time."

This gave Ranma pause and he said, "Uhh..." Digging in his pockets, he came up with 742 yen and he displayed this to Nabiki. "Is this enough to cover it?"

She considered that for a moment, then said, "I guess, but only if I get to go in with you."

"What?" He tried a confused expression and then sighed in defeat when Nabiki simply smiled at him. "How did you know we were going in his room?" When Nabiki's eyebrow rose, he realized he had said 'we' and confirmed that they were raiding Happosai's room and he cursed to himself.

"It wasn't that hard," she said after a moment though, apparently not questioning it. "I really wouldn't mind a chance to get back a few pairs of underwear that have gone missing though. That will make up the short fall."

Ranma hoped that those items hadn't found their way permanently into Kasumi's collection rather than Happosai's, but finally sighed. "All right. You can come, but only if what happens in there stays completely quiet. No one finds out."

"How mysterious..." Nabiki's smirk was back and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I mean it, if you don't promise, I'll find another way."

"Fine, fine." Holding out her hand under the still extended money in his own, Nabiki gave him an imperious look that made him roll his eyes before dumping the coins into her palm. She slipped those into her pockets and he watched her turn to the keyboard and mouse.

Step one was almost done. He was convinced he had heard Happosai writing in his room, if they could find that or some other weakness to exploit, this battle would nearly be won.

...

Walking into the living room, Nabiki found Kasumi, Happosai, and Ranma himself lounging around watching an episode of something he hadn't really been paying attention to and called out, "Mail for you, Kasumi!"

The Tendo homemaker turned on the couch to look at her sister curiously. "Mail? For me?"

Nabiki gave her a small smile and fanned out the envelopes in her hand. "Well, you and me, we both got some." She plucked out one envelope and handed it to Kasumi, who took it hesitantly and tilted her head to examine it before neatly opening it with one nail.

Her gasp of delight was all that Ranma might have hoped and he made sure to keep his face turned away from Happosai. He and Nabiki had gone over the plan in her room for at least an hour as she put on the touches she had said were necessary. When they had gone over their reactions, his brilliant acting had so stunned her that she had said he shouldn't expose Happosai to it lest he distract him from the mail.

Keeping an eye on the wrinkled old Master out of the corner of his eye though, he saw him perk up at Kasumi's reaction and a few seconds later, he had Nabiki's envelope pulled out of the stack still in her hands.

"Hey, old man! Give that back!" Ranma personally thought that Nabiki's outrage could have used a bit of extra emotion, maybe some hand gestures, but Happosai just ducked out of the way of her attempts at grabbing the mail back.

Tearing it open, he said, "Hotcha! ROSE KRIS? I knew you had good taste, my girl!" He then slapped Nabiki on the butt and Ranma didn't think the gasp of outrage that time was feigned. He just hoped she still had the underwear she was wearing- there was a 50/50 chance that they were missing now.

Kasumi in the meantime, had gotten to the end of the letter and she looked up in alarm that she was visibly attempting to keep subdued. "Nabiki, this event ends today."

The more mercenary of the two sister's gave Happosai one last glare, then bent down and picked up the discarded envelope that Happosai had left behind. "Oh my, you're right, Kasumi. The mail was delayed." She peered over her sister's shoulder. "We only have a few hours and it's all the way on the other side of town."

Kasumi stood abruptly, for her anyway, and said, "Shall we leave now?"

Nabiki in turn eyed the modest, worn dress that Kasumi had been cleaning in and said, "I think perhaps you should change at least. This is ROSE KRIS after all, sale or no. There are going to be dozens of women there judging by the invitation. You wouldn't want to give a bad impression, would you?

"Even if we won't be in our clothes for long."

Happosai's eyes visibly widened at the first comment and at the second, he literally vanished into thin air. Ranma wasn't even able to track the movement he was gone so quickly.

Kasumi wasn't looking much better and she said hurriedly, "Oh, yes. Of course, I'll go do that and be back in a minute." Attempting to run from the room, she gave Ranma a betrayed look as he grabbed her arm and prevented her from leaving. Giving it another minute to be sure the Grand Master of Anything Goes was well and gone, Ranma said, "Don't worry about it, Kasumi. You can't go to that ROSE KRIS thing."

If anything, this caused the look of betrayal to increase in intensity and he hastened to add, "You can't go because it isn't happening."

At her look of confusion, Nabiki gave her a brief grin and said, "Ranma came to me for a little help with his project."

"Project?"

"Project Throw Panties Far Far Away Without Actually Having Panties." Nabiki gave Ranma an amused smirk and he gave her a sour look in return. "His name, not mine. Now shall we go before the little pervert comes back? He owes me another pair of panties on top of the ones I was planning to take back today." This came with her own grimace and Ranma fought hard not to smirk himself at the tables turning.

Kasumi turned a questioning gaze on Ranma and he nodded to her and then Happosai's room before he got up to follow Nabiki. As he passed her, he leaned in close and whispered, "Phase one complete. Nabiki doesn't know the details."

Kasumi trailed along behind them as they left the room and Ranma couldn't help but laugh at the mixed expression on her face. Crushing disappointment at the deception on top of pleasure that they were starting on the plans they had come up with- it ended up leaving her looking very confused.

The visit to Happosai's room was almost anticlimactic after that. Ranma had to discretely hold Kasumi back when she saw the enormous pile of underwear. Bras, panties, and more racy negligee were heaped on the floor in one corner and there were shelves and dressers that had neatly folded stacks that were more uniformly one or the other elsewhere.

Some that were clearly matching sets were actually kept on the walls like artwork and Nabiki rushed up to one of those and immediately pulled it down. The glare she turned on Ranma afterwards was almost savage and he wondered exactly what use she had for underwear like that. He could almost feel Kasumi's hunger behind him and he said, "Right, so I want to look for martial arts scrolls. You two can get your, uh, unmentionables, back."

Walking up to one of the book cases that was not filled with ladies undergarments, Ranma happened to glance down at the desk and almost stared as he saw the sheet of paper labeled "Fair Contest" and "Kasumi". The writing was just barely legible enough for him to read and he hastily pulled a random scroll off the shelf next to the desk and spread it out, pretending to scan it while he looked over the paper.

While it took him nearly five minutes, he was able to decipher maybe the first half of the contest notes, such as they were. And at that, he ran into a wall. He could make out a word here and there, particularly at the top of the page near the contest rules, but the hand writing just got progressively worse as it went.

Scowling, he rolled up the scroll with a snap and slammed it back into the book case. They would just need to make do with what he found.

"Problems, Ranma, baby?" The sardonic voice caught him by surprise, as he had almost forgotten about Nabiki's presence.

Turning, he took a deep breath to calm down and get over his frustration. "I just can't read the stupid things. Happosai's hand writing is as bad on all of these as it was on his stupid Happosai Fire Blast scroll." Glancing up at a clock, he added. "We should be going, no idea how long the old letch is going to be distracted. You two have everything you need?"

He tried to be surreptitious as he looked over at Kasumi. Her typical pleasant smile was perhaps a bit more satisfied and pleased than usual, but otherwise she looked to have gotten control of herself. Time to get out before that changed.

Nabiki had acted with her usual decisiveness at his earlier comment though and stood, looking around for evidence of their presence. He hadn't spotted anything in particular himself, other than the panties that would be missing, which he was almost certain Happosai would notice, but you never knew. Maybe they'd get off scot free.

...

"Give 'em back, give 'em back, give 'em back!" Ranma groaned, taking another half hearted swipe at Happosai as each repetition of the words was punctuated by a smack to his head with the repulsive little gnome's pipe. He would swear the midget was 3 sometimes, instead of 300.

How Happosai had identified him as an intruder without fingering Kasumi and Nabiki was beyond him, but the results were only slightly less unpleasant than he had been expecting. His head ached abominably and he was so tired from his initial attempts to avoid or finish the fight that Happosai barely had to move to avoid his swipes.

He had not been in a particularly good mood upon returning from the other side of Nerima and had known in about three seconds that some of his "silky darlings" were missing. The attack that had followed had pushed Ranma to his limits and then moved beyond them rapidly.

It had then degenerated into this.

"Give 'em back, give 'em back, give 'em back!" Ranma just slumped this time and gave Kasumi a pleading look, which made her nod to him pleasantly, then turn back to Happosai.

"Grandfather, I think Ranma is done playing with you. Perhaps you would like some dinner?"

The steady rhythm broke off with the pipe resting against Ranma's head and he sighed in relief-briefly because moments later the heat registered along with a distinct odor of burning hair.

"Ahhh!" Jumping up, Ranma slapped at the top of his head and only succeeded in burning his hands as well. Panicking, he went with the first instinct he had for water after all this time and jumped out of the room and into the fish pond. As the burning subsided, she burst out of the water with the standard changes in place, glowering at the little troll as he spun the pipe once and then made it disappear.

Nabiki simply watched the events with an upraised eyebrow.

"Perhaps you're right, my dear," Happosai said, his eyes crinkling as he beamed at Kasumi and completely ignored Ranma's muttering. "I'll go get cleaned up."

Turning around, the little old man spun around and bounded out of the room leaving Ranma, Kasumi, and Nabiki. Stepping out of the pond, the now red-haired girl scowled at her nominal master as he left the room and started the familiar process of wringing out her clothes and hair.

Stalking inside, she accepted a towel from Kasumi with a muttered thanks and sat down at the table again, rubbing at her hair vigorously with the rough towel. Feeling at the crown of her head gingerly with one hand, she glanced over at Nabiki and said, "I don't suppose you..."

Nabiki leaned down and rummaged in her purse for a minute, then came out with a compact that she flipped open and displayed to Ranma. The martial artist in turn peered into it, then waved her thanks at the middle Tendo sister.

"Not too bad, can't really make out the damage if you're not looking for it."

This caused Nabiki to burst into a peal of laughter. "You're such a girl, Saotome."

Kasumi tsked in response to this and said, "That wasn't very nice, Nabiki."

"Me? I wasn't the one who dumped hot coals on Ranma's head," Nabiki protested, her laughter cutting off.

The elder Tendo sister nodded thoughtfully. "That is true, Grandfather Happosai did go a bit far this time."

A bit? Ranma mouthed the words and exchanged glances with Nabiki, shaking his head. "Why do you even call him Grandfather, Kasumi?" he asked a moment later instead of voicing the disbelief. "I mean Nabiki and Akane sure don't. Well, not in the same tone at the very least."

Nabiki gave him a look he couldn't quite interpret, then said dryly, "Do you think the pervert is grandfatherly? I always just figured Kasumi was more polite than I am and had way more self-control."

"Well, yes," Kasumi agreed placidly, causing Nabiki to shoot her a hard look. Ranma suspected she had been fishing for a denial instead of confirmation. "But I think there was a reason as well..."

Putting a finger to her lips, Kasumi's eyes unfocused and she said, "I think it was when I was very young, shortly after Nabiki was born..."

.oOo.

"Are you ready, Kasumi?" Daddy's voice was barely interested, his attention on the little baby her mother was holding like it had been since she came home a whole month ago.

Sadly, Kasumi put one last stuffed animal into the little backpack she had gotten for her birthday. She had Rose and Sakura and Kuma and her blanket and two whole packs of cookies left on the counter and her sippy cup filled with juice.

"Yes, Daddy." Kasumi looked up and saw her father just wave her away, towards the back gate of the Tendo property. Struggling to get her backpack on, she trudged towards the gate with heavy footsteps that crunched super loudly on the gravel. Periodically, she looked over her shoulder, but her parents were still absorbed with baby Nabiki and she headed through the already opened portal to the outside world with a heavy heart.

Daddy and Mommy had been clear that she was supposed to leave now that they had a new baby, so she would have to go to someone else who wanted her. This was where she would find them she guessed. Maybe she would need to wander the world like Daddy.

Turning after she had squeezed out of the gate almost getting her new backpack caught, Kasumi caught sight of someone down the street who was almost her size and decided that must be who she was supposed to meet.

Plodding down the street, she thought it was awfully good that her and Mommy went for walks so often. It must have been to prepare her for all the wandering and stuff, just like Daddy had been preparing her to fight the bad guys when he was home. As she approached the little man she had spotted, that thought made her pause for a moment. What if this was a bad man, too?

She thought she was too close now to go the other way, so she decided she should check. "Are you a bad guy?"

This caused the person to spin and she saw that he had wrinkles and white hair, just like her grandma, so he was probably an old person. Though she had never met one that was as small as her. Her question apparently amused him and he tucked something into a large bag he was sorting through before saying, "Not at all. I am a martial arts master. A guardian of the innocent and pure things of this world, regardless of the people who want to abandon them to the elements or leave them trapped and lonely."

Kasumi blinked at this, trying to understand the answer, then asked, "So you're a good guy?"

"I am." He nodded solemnly. He stroked one little mustache, then looked around a bit and asked, "Where is your Mommy?"

Sighing forlornly, the little girl said, "Mommy doesn't want me."

Frowning, the man rubbed his chin and said, "That seems hard to believe for such a cute kid. How about your Daddy? Is he around?"

She shook her head and said, "Daddy sent me away. I was bad."

"Doesn't sound like the best home environment." This was kind of muttered under his breath, but she still heard it, even if she didn't quite understand what it meant. "How about you stick around with me for awhile?"

Kasumi considered this for a moment. She wasn't supposed to go anywhere with strangers, but Daddy had sent her here. She put her hands through the straps on her backpack and rocked on her heels while thinking through the problem, then abruptly said, "My name is Kasumi."

The non-sequitor didn't seem to phase the little old man and he said, "And my name is Happosai."

.oOo.

"Hold on a minute," Nabiki interrupted. "You're trying to tell me that Mom and Dad kicked you out of the house at the tender age of two and a half years old and gave you to Happosai to raise?"

Kasumi paused and said, "Now that you mention it, that does seem out of character." She tapped her lips briefly in thought and said, "Perhaps my memory of that time is a bit sketchy. It does put routing that gang of bandits and the attack by a yeti later on into doubt as well."

"You think?"

Ranma suspected the sarcasm on those two words was probably heavy enough to register even to Kasumi.

"I know you have an insanely good memory, Kasumi. I'm continuously surprised by it. But I'm thinking this didn't happen at all," Nabiki said. Ranma thought she actually looked a little smug about this and he wondered how many times the middle sister had been caught out by her older sister over something she thought better forgotten.

"Ahh, but she did disappear around that time." Ranma and Nabiki both spun at the sound of Genma's voice, though Kasumi only smiled and moved a magazine off of one of the pillows so that the elder Saotome could take a seat.

"I remember it well," Genma continued after having moved in to take his place at the table. "I received a call from Tendo at approximately 2:30 in the afternoon. He was in a panic, seemed he had misplaced his oldest daughter somehow. 'She's not in her room, not in the dojo... I can't find her anywhere!' he exclaimed." Ranma suspected that Soun might find the high falsetto that Genma used to emulate his friend's voice a bit offensive.

"It was clear the man was in desperate straights, particularly with the Master due back from China, ready to tear us from our families yet again and prevent him from searching.

"I spoke with him for only a few minutes by phone and assured him I would be over as soon as humanly possible to assist him with the search..."

.oOo.

The sun beat down overhead, the air a clear, cloudless blue that left waves of heat shimmering in the air over the steaming asphalt. The sidewalks beside the high walls of the Tendo dojo were marginally cooler than the black surfaces over which the occasional car passed, but the heat that radiated from them through the thin soles of Kasumi's shoes was still punishing.

Indeed, the little girl frequently rocked back and forth between one foot and the other. Periodically, she glanced over at Happosai and favored him with a brave smile and the little man eventually pulled out a bottle of something that smelled sour and potent, taking a swig before offering it to the little girl.

.oOo.

Genma's head slammed into the table and bounced off, leaving his eyes spinning and unfocused as he crashed backwards and sprawled over the stone steps. Ranma wasn't too upset, his pops had spent nearly three minutes just describing how hot that day had been.

"If you're gonna tell a story, tell it right!" Happosai yelled, growling at his student. He crossed his arms over his chest and said indignantly, "I would never offer a child sake. I won't stand for my honor to be besmirched like that."

Genma groaned and Ranma decided to add, "Just get on with what actually happened. We don't need all the details, just the important ones."

His father sat up moments later with a slightly sheepish expression on his face and said, "Ahh, technically I don't really know the details. Your mother dragged me off to see her parents before I could go help Tendo with the search. Thought it was another excuse to avoid it.

"Soun didn't speak to me for nearly a month when we resumed our training trip, so I never found out what happened beyond a curt, 'Kasumi's safe'."

Ranma nearly groaned. He should have known. His Pop was a blowhard, but it was always at its worse when he was trying to cover up a lack of knowledge. He should have realized he didn't know anything after the second minute of variations on 'harsh yellow sun' and 'day to make a camel desperate for a drink'.

Happosai settled down and said, "well, if this idiot doesn't know the true story, I might as well tell it myself.

"As I recall, little Kasumi here was being chased by some ne'er-do-well or other. All dressed in uniforms and intent on kidnapping her, shouting horrible things about how they'd capture her and calling her a 'little troll' and 'oompa loompa'. Definitely shady characters, though I can't recall many details other than that.

"I, of course, immediately recognized the danger that she was in and set out to help her evade the nefarious group."

.oOo.

"Well, we're safe now," Happosai said, grinning at Kasumi and appearing well satisfied.

"Do it again, Granpa!" yelled Kasumi, laughing and jumping around herself between the trees in the park they had stopped at. Her earlier concerns about the old man had dissipated after he had carried her bouncing between buildings while they ran from the bad men. That was even more fun than when she played airplane with Daddy.

The old man laughed, a cackling happy sound that made her grin at him, even though he waved off her request and said, "Maybe later, Kasumi dear."

"Pwease?" Kasumi tried a small pout and was rewarded with another grin, but her upraised arms were ignored.

"Tell you what, why don't I teach you how to do it yourself instead?" Happosai looked around and gestured for Kasumi to follow him as they wended their way out of the deeper woods where his tent was set up and pointed to the path they had encountered.

The next couple hours were spent running about the park, playing on jungle gyms, and more, all while jumping as long and high as she could from anything and everything. Any time Kasumi got tired, her new granpa would come over and pat her on the back and she would be ready to go again.

It was the most fun she had had in months, but eventually it started getting dark and Granpa Happosai said it was time for bed. When they got back to camp, she pulled her blanket from her backpack and immediately crawled into the tent and fell asleep.

"All I gotta do is jump on 'em and hug them?" Kasumi asked, her eyes doubtful. Granpa Happosai hadn't told her a lie yet, but she was pretty sure Daddy had said you had to punch or kick the bad guys to make them go away. She was sure her new clothes would be perfect for that too.

Happosai nodded solemnly. "These poor women have merely been led astray into a life of villainy. A warm embrace from an adorable child such as yourself will help them to see the error of their ways.

"Can you do it, Kasumi?"

Kasumi jumped up and nodded enthusiastically. "I can!"

"Good girl, let's go!"

Following Happosai, she and he stopped when they were near the bushes and Happosai pointed out the first of the bandits. Dressed just as he had said, in a tank top, head band, shorts, and sneakers, the woman was running through the park chasing a man dressed similarly. Turning, she asked, "Is the boy a bad guy too?"

"Uhh... no, no, I'm afraid she's... no doubt captured him and he's trying to escape right now. Probably stole one of their uniforms to sneak out."

Kasumi gasped. "That's 'orrible!"

Happosai nodded solemnly. "That's right. Better hurry. Remember what I said to say. It will remind these women of their maternal instincts to more quickly cure them of their evil ways."

Nodding back as seriously as she could, Kasumi burst out of the bushes and jumped as the woman was passing, wrapping her arms around the woman's chest and yelling, "Got you, Mommy!"

Drawing to a halt as the little girl started sliding down, the woman quickly caught Kasumi and pulled her up asking, "And who are you, honey? Because I'm pretty certain I would know if a little girl as cute as you were my daughter."

"I'm Kasumi!"

Looking around, apparently looking for an adult or perhaps responding to Happosai attaching himself to her back and prompting giggles from Kasumi, the woman said, "And where's your Mommy?"

"Umm..." Kasumi tried to remember her line for this, but it wouldn't come to her so instead she said, "She's with Biki." Mommy had always told her the truth was best, so that would work.

"Should we take you to her?" Another brief frown crossed the woman's face and she looked behind herself, but she quickly turned back to the little girl in her arms.

"No need, no need." Happosai stepped out of the bushes, smiling genially. "I'm watching her at the moment."

The woman smiled and said, "How cute, you have matching clothes."

Kasumi grinned, looking down at the little crimson jumpsuit that Happosai had let her use and leaned in to whisper to the woman, "I'm a ninja."

"Oh, I see." The woman smiled again and set Kasumi down and she ran over to Happosai. "I guess that's why you're ambushing your Mom when she gets here, huh? Good luck then."

Waving, she took off jogging again as Kasumi and Happosai retreated to the bushes again.

"Is she fixed now?"

When Kasumi asked if they had cured her, Happosai simply pointed to where the woman had stopped perhaps a hundred feet down the path and had turned around searching her surroundings, her cheeks red and her arms crossed over her chest.

"That's a perfect sign that she's on her way to being cured, Kasumi dear!"

"Stay back now, Kasumi!"

Kasumi gasped as the big, hairy man attacked Happosai again, this time with a bomb that blew up into a white cloud before he threw several spatulas into it. She cheered as her new grandpa jumped out none the worse for the wear though.

Thoughtfully taking a bite of the okonomiyaki that the old man had provided to her, Kasumi chewed carefully. This was even better than Mommy's cooking. She didn't even mind the vegetables on it and she usually hated those.

The big man had been knocked back into the building that Happosai had come out of with the big stack of okonomiyaki again and he appeared to be growling like a bear. Swiping at the little man with the big spatula again, he seemed to be having little luck hitting his elusive target even as it finished off its own okonomiyaki.

"I got a say, these are pretty good." Happosai licked his fingers a few times and looked about for some more. While he was distracted, the big man suddenly threw out a weird looking rope which wrapped around him several times.

Swinging his opponent up into the air, he roared, "Then pay for it, you thief!"

Happosai landed painfully on his head and the bearded man he was fighting roared in triumph, turning to wave his big spatula at a frail looking woman on the sidelines who had been cheering him on. When her eyes widened in surprise though, he spun just in time to see the little man slurp up the last of the super tough rope, let out a belch, and then pull out a positively massive looking firework to throw at him.

Responding in time, he brought his spatula back up and almost gently caught the bomb and spun it around to lob right back at Happosai. The old man nodded appreciatively, then vanished, appeared next to Kasumi and picked her up and started bounding back through the streets.

As she yelled, "Whee!" another shout echoed out from behind them.

"No! I haven't paid the insurance yet this month!"

She couldn't see the building or man anymore, but the fireworks that were visible over the nearest building were awfully pretty.

.oOo.

Ranma blinked, listening to the story and glanced over at first Kasumi, who was nodding as if this was jogging memories for her and then Nabiki.

Nabiki met his gaze for a moment, then turned to Happosai, walking through the story and ticking points off on her fingers as she went. "So, in other words, you were being chased by the police in all likelihood, snatched up Kasumi and in fact kidnapped her yourself, used her to mug innocent joggers in the park, and then presumably stole dinner and blew up some poor schmuck's okonomiyaki restaurant when he came after you for..."

Nabiki paused and exchanged looks with Ranma. He frowned. Those attacks had sounded awfully familiar. Actually, for that matter, so did the description of the guy fighting. Big, bearded, cooks okonomiyaki and uses ingredients as weapons...

"Uhh... that restaurant, it didn't happen to say Kuonji on the sign, did it?"

Happosai frowned for a minute, then shrugged. "No idea. Though..." He nodded slightly and said, "Might have been. I think the name did start with a 'K'. How'd you know that? Have I told this one before?"

"Not that I recall," Nabiki said, eyeing him speculatively then looking off into the distance.

Ranma could almost see the yen signs spinning in her eyes and he poked her to get her attention. Leaning forward he whispered urgently, "Ukyo can never know. Never! Kasumi is going to get pulled into this somehow. She was there, you know it's going to happen."

Scowling, she appeared to resist the conclusion for a moment, then reluctantly nodded to him. Apparently discarding her earlier thoughts, she stood and said, "Ok. Since we have yet to find a reliable witness, we apparently need to go talk to Daddy about this."

"About what?"

Jumping, Nabiki scowled and said, "Why does everyone in this house move around like a mouse today!" Spinning, she pointed at Soun and asked bluntly, "What happened the first time Kasumi met Happosai?"

"The first time? When she ran away you mean?" Kasumi blushed at this and Soun stroked his mustache for a moment before replying further. "As I recall, she was a bit jealous of your arrival. It boiled over that day and she pinched you when you started crying, which had us sending her to her room. She then scared us half to death by vanishing, though we didn't realize it until later that day when we were supposed to pick her up from the pre-school next door. Kimiko thought I had dropped her off and I thought she had.

"We ran about the house looking for her hiding spot for awhile before one of us noticed the back gate had been left ajar. That expanded our search radius, but we didn't end up finding her until the following day. We eventually tracked her down with the assistance of the police to a park where she had been sighted. Much farther than we thought it possible for her to go, but it turned out she was with the Master.

"I think it was the only time I was ever grateful for him being around." Nabiki winced at this and stepped to the side, revealing Happosai behind her.

After Soun had recovered from the blow to the back of his head and groveled a bit, he continued with a cough. "As I was saying, the eternal gratitude I have for the Master has never been stronger than that moment. I've heard a few variations on what happened during the day or two that Kasumi was missing, but ultimately the Master prevented her from coming to harm.

"That is what really matters."

Nabiki frowned, then nodded reluctantly and Kasumi beamed at Happosai, eliciting smiles all around from everyone but Ranma. He instead frowned and protested, "We've been talking about this for like half an hour or more and I still don't know why Kasumi actually calls Happosai Grandfather though!"

The aforementioned Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts cackled. "Easy enough- I told her to call me that. Have you ever heard a two year old try to pronounce 'Sensei'? Granpa's much easier."

"And the running away with Kasumi when she was a block from the dojo?" Ranma asked dryly.

Happosai waved it away. "The boys never really talked about their home life while I was around till then. Didn't even know his kids' names."

Ranma sighed in defeat and said, "Fine, whatever. I admit you have a few redeeming qualities."

"Hotcha! I knew you'd come around, my boy. Let's celebrate with a nice hug!"

"Alright, let's get things started!" Ranma woke with a start at the cackling voice and immediately found himself swinging slightly. Looking around, he realized that he was in the dojo and apparently dangling upside down from the ceiling wrapped in rope.

He struggled for a moment, which did nothing more than set him spinning, and then he saw Kasumi kneeling with a small lap desk in front of her and a woman in a business suit beside her. At Happosai's comment, she looked up and sighed in exasperation.

"Master Happosai, is the rope really necessary?"

"Yeah, what's the deal!" Ranma yelled, or tried anyway. It came out more like, "Yfhh, hffs shh ehhl" and at a considerably lower volume than he was attempting because he was apparently gagged as well as tied up. It had been nearly a week since they had broken into the old pervert's room, but he hadn't really been expecting the announcement of the contest to be done in quite this manner. The old geezer must still be pissed about the underwear Nabiki took back.

Happosai nodded seriously. "The boy's tricky, Michi, my girl. I'm sure Kasumi here has already told him about our little deal, since they're thick as thieves anymore, so he'll need to be in on it. Either that or I keep him out of the way for awhile."

Kasumi blushed at the implication she hadn't and nodded, which prompted the old man to walk over and pat her on the back. "No worries, dear. I never said you needed to keep it quiet. Would be kind of defeating the point in fact. The more the merrier!

"Though, that said, I've decided this is going to be on the up and up. And since Ranma here was trained by Genma, I assume he'll cheat like the dickens on your behalf." Ranma could not, in fact argue with this assessment, though he liked to think of it more as... strategic maneuvering.

"That's where Michi here comes in." Happosai grinned at the woman who looked to be perhaps ten years older than Kasumi, with pure black hair that appeared to have blonde roots for some reason. Possibly hair dye then? Ranma had never really run across someone who died their hair black. While pretty, she wasn't stunning like Shampoo or as vivacious as Akane. It was kind of understated, a little bit like Kasumi now that he thought about it.

"Yasuda Michi," the woman said as she bowed slightly from her position next to Kasumi, her smile measured and with something in it that reminded him of Nabiki. "I work as legal counsel for the Dai Ichi Kangyo Group."

Kasumi raised her hand to her mouth as it opened in surprise and she said, "Oh my. I've heard of them. Whatever are you doing here?"

Michi smiled at Kasumi and said, "I owe Master Happosai a favor and he has called it in to judge this little competition of yours. He helped me out of a... precarious position that I had gotten myself into when I was younger and couldn't quite see the way out of."

At the concern showing on Kasumi's face, the older woman reached over and placed a hand over her own. "I assure you, my discretion is completely assured. In addition to owing Happosai more than I could ever repay, he has also paid me a nominal sum to ensure I am representing him legally. I couldn't disclose the secrets in this room without being disbarred." Ranma grinned slightly around the gag- he suspected that the expression the home maker had been showing was for the lawyer, not the possibility of her secret being leaked.

"Thank you." Kasumi nodded graciously. "I trust Grandfather and I am sure you will be a fair judge, though if truth be told, I am not sure what the contest will consist of just yet." Which was true, Ranma thought. They had assumptions, the scribbled notes Happosai had made on his rules, and an iron clad guarantee that whatever it was would involve under garments. This was Happosai after all.

Nodding slightly in response to that, Michi stood and said, "Well, why don't I let Happosai explain that and I can answer any questions on the contract that come out of it."

Contract? Ranma didn't like the sound of that and as he looked at the inch thick pile of paper sitting in front of Kasumi he could almost hear ominous music playing in the background. The last time he had seen a legal document even a tenth of that size was when debt collectors had caught up with his father threatening to take his house. Which was just dumb, since he and Genma were obviously itinerant martial artists and pretty much by definition didn't own their own house.

He shook his head to throw off the memory and paid closer attention to what was going on- Happosai was going through the rules still. He'd need to check with Kasumi to see what he had missed, but he was currently talking through the fact that they couldn't use their existing collections in the contest. Ranma wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not- he was pretty sure Happosai was probably underestimating Kasumi since she didn't keep most of her collection in the house, per se, but they were also talking about Happosai. If he had enough money to hire an actual lawyer for this, he might well have warehouses of lingerie sitting around.

Though if they could pretend that Kasumi only had what was in the house, they were almost sure to wi-

"I don't know if I can show my collection off right now. It is rather late for a stroll around the neighborhood I think," Kasumi interjected into the discussion. "Perhaps tomorrow morning?"

-or they could just give that up. He was pretty sure that he had told Kasumi they should not, in fact, let Happosai know effectively she had built up her collection. Then again, it was a direct question. He hadn't really expected her to hold out against that.

The next bit talked through was not being allowed to add to their collections until their part of the contest started, which seemed odd. Maybe that had something to do with the part he had missed. Related to the time handicap that Happosai had mentioned in his notes perhaps?

He noticed that as they went through each "rule", Ms. Yasuda was having Kasumi and Happosai both initial and periodically sign in weird locations through the document. She seemed to be flipping back and forth so quickly he would have thought it was some odd speed training for martial arts lawyers.

Increasing his struggles in an attempt to get Kasumi's attention, he sighed as the only thing that happened was the lawyer looking up and nodding towards him genially. "Yes, this next part may involve you as well I believe."

Happosai grinned evilly at Ranma. "It's almost entirely aimed at you, my boy. With Genma's training, I assume you're going to try and cheat one way or another. Don't worry though, I don't want to end up winning by default, so I've left this rule pretty lenient. The only thing you can't do for her is liberate the panties yourself." Ranma blinked. That was it? He made an interrogative sound, raising one eyebrow (lowering? He was upside down. He didn't suppose it really mattered though.)

At the confirmation by Happosai and Ms. Yasuda, he nodded slowly to himself. He wasn't really expecting that. He hadn't quite been able to make out this rule when they ransacked the old pervert's room, but it might mean that their plans for this contest changed. Plan A was still off the table, but their backup might not be needed with some modification. Plan B was less risky, but just having him take Kasumi to grab the panties and bras himself might actually be quicker. She definitely didn't have the skills to go on her own, but if he could openly help her out...

"Are you willing to sign then, Mr. Saotome?" He eyed the lawyer, but as he might have expected her expression didn't really tell him anything. Her voice still had that droning sense of inevitability it had while she was directing Kasumi to 'sign here' or 'initial there'. "You will also be agreeing to the general terms and conditions of the wager.

"That will include not interfering with the results or otherwise attempting to invalidate them other than the assistance that you extend to Miss Tendo."

Tossing his head, he glared at Happosai pointedly and Ms. Yasuda looked towards the old man and said, "Perhaps we could remove that gag at least?"

[[possibly extend this, but this isn't a terrible break point]]

By the time Ranma and Kasumi had escorted the lawyer to the gate, he wasn't sure if either of them knew exactly what they had signed. He was pretty sure he understood the contest though and it seemed simple enough. And it had either been sign or leave Kasumi in the lurch if he couldn't escape in time.

It boiled down to Kasumi and Happosai both collecting as many panties and bras as they could. Kasumi had a week and Happosai a night and it could only take place in Nerima. He was allowed to help the eldest Tendo daughter in almost any way, so long as he didn't actually touch the undergarments himself.

During the contest, Happosai had promised not to "rescue" his pretties. In fact, he had actively been refraining from collecting in Nerima for over a week now so that the area was primed for their contest. By which Ranma assumed he meant that all his previous victims would have replaced the lingerie he stole from them.

Looking back towards the house after the car that Ms. Yasuda had drove away in was out of sight, Ranma thought he saw Nabiki's curtains twitch and he wondered if he'd be getting another blackmail request soon. Their original deal still stood though, so hopefully not.

Happosai was gone by the time they made it back to the dojo, so he and Kasumi had it to themselves. Sitting across from each other, Ranma waited for Kasumi to take the lead. This was her decision, so she would choose how they approached the contest. They had identified enough from their earlier fact finding expedition that he thought they had discussed most of it.

Kasumi took a deep breath and let it out, her body stilling before she spoke. "Would you teach me to..." She trailed off as Ranma waved a brief acknowledgement.

"Not a problem, Kasumi." Looking around the dojo, he leaned forwards conspiratorially. "Look. We can't start till tomorrow night, but no reason we can't go practice now. Your Dad's asleep, right?"

"Father?" She looked thoughtful, then nodded. "Yes, he and Akane usually go to sleep fairly early. Nabiki stays up later I believe." Standing, she smoothed her skirts calmly, but her eyes twinkled and her lips twitched at the corners, betraying her excitement. "I'll be right back! I just need to get ready!"

Rushing out of the dojo, Ranma wondered what she was getting, but he didn't have to wait too long. No more than five minutes later, Kasumi re-entered the dojo and he had to stop himself from snickering and ruining her moment.

Kasumi was dressed head to toe in what had to be custom made clothing. Her usual dress had been replaced with baggy pants and an over-shirt that were wrapped tight around the ankles and wrists with cloth or at least looked that way. Both had a certain body to the material and cut that gave them a feminine appearance, though the tight turtleneck that she was wearing beneath the shirt probably did more to indicate her gender. That and the fact that the entire outfit was in shades of lilac and pink. The bows scattered across the outfit, including one at her back, didn't hurt either.

Ranma coughed politely to get a hold of himself and said, "Ahh, very nice, Kasumi."

Beaming, she twirled and said, "I've been working on it while you were at school. I didn't think I would have it done in time." Pulling a scarf out of the bag she had brought with her, she wrapped it around her neck loosely once or twice, then pulled her pony tail out of the loop of fabric.

"Ok, all set!"

Lips still twitching, Ranma said, "Alright. Just a minute and we'll get going." Eyeing the not precisely subtle outfit, Ranma thought they probably were not going to be able to walk the streets without grabbing a fair amount of unnecessary attention- he slid the door open and the house and street outside seemed quiet though.

As he stepped out into the yard, Kasumi followed and he decided that if they were going to make it in anything approaching stealth or speed, they were going to have to go via the roofs. Pointing to the roof, he got the older girl's attention and asked, "You okay with going that way?"

"Umm... I suppose," she said, then started to say, "How do I-" before he scooped her up and then took a leap that had her sucking in a startled breath and her arms snaked around his neck in an almost painfully tight grip. As he ran easily across the roof of the building next door though, she quickly grew used to it though and her arms rested more comfortably.

Within a few minutes, he had landed on the rooftop he was aiming for and then dropped into the backyard soundlessly. Hopefully this would turn out better than the times he had tried to break into Akane's room.

As he set Kasumi down, she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself then took a step away, peering around curiously. "Mrs. Yamaguchi's house?" she asked, her head tilting slightly to the side as she looked towards what he assumed was the bedroom.

"Yeah, she's one of your customer's right?" She nodded in response and he said, "So I assume her, uh, panties and stuff count as part of your collection. If we take them, it isn't breaking the rules."

"How clever!" Kasumi clapped lightly and Ranma placed a hand behind his head, scratching lightly in embarrassment before he turned to the back door of the house. Testing it briefly, he found it was unlocked and he shook his head slightly. This would probably be a good lesson for these people, it was almost like doing a good deed. He would have gotten in regardless, but you didn't leave your doors unlocked at night. That was just dangerous.

Indicating that they should be quiet, Ranma snuck into the house and tried to guide his erstwhile apprentice in as well. Ready to grab her and run if she made too much noise, he was surprised at how quiet she was. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.

Following the direction Kasumi had accidentally indicated from outside, they quickly found the bedroom. Ranma placed a finger to his lips to indicate the need for complete quiet and gestured Kasumi inside after cracking the door. As he had expected, the woman they were burgling was sleeping in the bed, so he stayed out and kept an eye on her through the door to minimize the noise inside the bedroom.

While it took longer than he expected, Kasumi eventually came out of the room and they made their way out of the house none the wiser. Demonstrating her haul by opening the bag, she asked, "Should we go to Ms. Tanageuchi's house next?"

Nodding, Ranma quickly picked up Kasumi and they repeated the process, then did so once more. Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka were out entirely apparently, so Ranma just came into the bedroom with Kasumi, not really concerned about being seen.

Watching Kasumi, he saw her keep the same stealthy pace that they had been using through the houses as she crept up on the dresser. He was a little confused when she began pulling the underwear out of the drawer one at a time though and particularly confused when she placed it on the ground rather than in her bag. He didn't want to interrupt in the house, since there was still a kid somewhere around his age sleeping in the room next door.

When Kasumi had finished completely sorting the underwear, she finally placed it into the bag one at a time and he breathed a sigh of relief. When she then pulled out a pad of paper and started writing a note though, he couldn't help himself. "Kasumi!" he hissed.

"Yes?" She turned, apparently a little flustered by the sudden sound based on her widened eyes.

He lowered his voice further and stepped closer. "What are you doing?" He glanced down at the paper and almost groaned as he saw Kasumi's elegant calligraphy being used to write out a thank you note for letting them 'borrow' the undergarments and apologizing for intruding. Complete with a promise to return the stolen garments the next time they picked up a batch of their laundry.

"Writing a-" He held up a hand and just shook his head.

"Never mind, let's get going."

She frowned slightly, a look of concern more than displeasure, and said, "But I haven't finished-"

"I know, I know. Don't worry, I'll finish up." He cast around for an excuse and said, "Ahh, you need your sleep to be ready for tomorrow, right? Don't worry, I'll take care of the rest."

Bustling her out of the room as quietly as he could, he quickly rushed her back to the Tendo dojo. Dropping her off inside, he smiled, grabbed the bag she was holding and quickly pushed her back in over her protests. "I'll take care of this, you get some sleep," he said, a strained smile on his face.

Facing back out into the night after the door was closed, he slumped slightly and pulled the letter he had palmed out of his pocket. This was going to be a long night. He couldn't leave those letters in place though and he probably needed to put back the underwear too. He would need to explain to Kasumi tomorrow, but it was quite apparent she was not cut out for a life of larceny.

He had wondered about that story with Mrs. Yamaguchi and it had inspired his first choice for the house. Knowing Kasumi, she had probably had tea with the woman as she was taking them though and somehow convinced her that she was just stopping over to correct how she hung the laundry or something.

Meeting with Kasumi in the kitchen the following morning, since it was earlier than most got up, Ranma found himself put to work fetching various items according to the cook's directions. With only a few hours sleep though, he soon found himself sympathizing with Akane after the eldest Tendo was forced to correct his choices. Picking up salt instead of sugar or teriyaki sauce instead of miso was surprisingly easy when you were muzzy and sleep deprived.

Eventually, he gave up and sat down at the table while Kasumi worked to just talk. He was not looking forward to his morning spar with Pops. After explaining to her that he had put back her 'silky friends' the previous day since it was just training, Ranma said, "So back to our original plan?"

Tilting her head, Kasumi said, "I thought we weren't allowed to do that?"

Ranma shrugged. "Ok, the second original plan. We pretty much assumed the first one would be a no go from the start, right?"

She nodded slightly and tested the soup, her hand cupping the ladle as she brought it up to her lips and sipped delicately, then moved on to fish. "Yesterday was very exciting though." Her eyes twinkled slightly and her voice displayed just a hint of dismay that they wouldn't be continuing.

"Well, yes, but it wasn't very fast. Happosai probably goes through a dozen houses in the same time it took us to do one."

"That is true..." She tapped her lips thoughtfully. "Perhaps if I wrote the notes out ahead of time?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow at Kasumi, not really wanting to move much. "You could not write one at all."

Kasumi's brow wrinkled and she shook her head. "That seems horribly rude, don't you think?" The rice cooker dinged and she moved over to it smoothly and began serving out individual portions.

"Well, yeah. That's kind of hard to avoid when you're takin' someone's stuff from their house, though, isn't it?"

Pausing in dishing out breakfast, the eldest Tendo hummed thoughtfully to herself before answering. "Mother used to say there was always time for manners."

"I don't know if that's right, but it's your call."

Resuming her meal preparations, Kasumi said, more to herself he thought, "I suppose it may go against my promise to Mother?"

He grinned to himself. "A bit."

"Well, I suppose we did talk this through earlier, but I've never gotten more than a few new clients in a week and we never figured that out." Dishing out the miso soup, she eyed the final result on the tray with satisfaction. Ranma was tempted to try and steal his now and dodge out before his old man woke up. He was sure Kasumi wouldn't mind too much.

Pushing himself up, Ranma pulled the flier they had created for ROSE KRIS out of his bag and held it up to Kasumi. "What if we did this?"

Kasumi's eyes widened and she clasped her hands in front of herself. "Ooh, is that one real?" He could almost see her salivating at the prospect- well, not really, this was Kasumi and he couldn't actually see her drooling, but he imagined it was happening anyway.

He shook his head though. "Ahh, no. I meant ran a sale. You know, for your laundry service."

"Oh." The disappointment was there again, but she soldiered through. "Yes, that might work. I certainly jumped at that, though I suppose not everyone would."

"Why don't you think about it while I'm at school? Figure out how to sell it." And he would get some well-deserved sleep. He decided he was going to skip out on his Pops this morning, no reason not to head to school early and get an hour or two before Akane got there.

"I can do that." Kasumi nodded, her tone decisive and determined.

Heading out of the bathroom, Ranma yawned and stretched as he started back towards the classroom. Outside of dealing with Akane, who had apparently been late after waiting for him before school, his brief nap had more or less let him recover from the sleepless night. A small bump on the head where his uncute fiancee had decided to throw her math textbook at him while he was sleeping and before she was sent into the hall was a small price to pay.

He had apologized when she got in and she had reluctantly done the same, saying something about how she shouldn't discourage good behavior anyway. So he wasn't really expecting to be ambushed on his way back to class.

When he found himself pushed into a janitor's closet though, he had to rub his eyes briefly when he saw Nabiki almost on top of him. Maybe he was still dreaming?

"I want in, Saotome."

Nabiki poked him in the chest and he frowned at her. "In on what?" He rubbed the back of his neck and wished he woke up more quickly- there was a reason his dad tended to throw him in a pond to get him up in the morning though.

"Whatever you're doing with Kasumi. I saw you last night."

Ranma groaned. "15 years and you notice now? I guess she has been sloppy with this whole contest thing going on." Wait. That probably wasn't...

"What? I'm talking about whatever you were doing with Yasuda Michi."

"Huh? Happosai's friend?" This was not going anywhere near where he had thought it was. So she wasn't talking about the weird ninja outfit Kasumi was wearing last night or the bag of panties?

Nabiki's eyes widened and she actually gaped at him. "Happosai's what!?" Damnit.

Ranma shook his head and took a step back, then remembered he was in a closet when his back hit the wall. "Umm... why don't you tell me what we're talking about?"

"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy." Nabiki narrowed her eyes at him and then raised a hand, ticking off her points on her fingers. "In order of importance you're going to tell me about my introduction to Yasuda Michi, how in the world Happosai of all people knows her, my introduction to Yasuda Michi, what you meant by 15 years, my introduction to Yasuda Michi, and then 'this contest thing'."

Ranma gave Nabiki a sickly smile. He knew she hadn't missed that. Damnit. "I think you may have repeated yourself a few times there."

"It bears repeating. Do you have any idea what a contact like Mrs. Yasuda could do for my career?"

Ranma blinked, thinking back to the unprepossessing woman he had met last night. She hadn't really stood out that much to him, kind of pretty, but most of his fiancees were better looking. She had been kind of smart he supposed. "Uhh, no, not really. Kasumi said she recognized the place she worked for-umm, Dai Icha Icha or something. I take it it's a big deal?"

"She isn't working for a publisher of ninja smut in a fictional world, Ranma. It's Dai Ichi." She paused, then shook her head in disgust as Ranma continued to stare at her blankly. "As in the biggest conglomerate in Japan?"

Acknowledging her statement with a shrug, he said, "Ahh, right. Not sure I can tell you about something that hasn't happened though."

She smiled at him and a shiver ran up his back. It wasn't that different from the pleasant smile that Kasumi put on so frequently, how did she make it look so evil? "Which is why you're going to tell me about how you're going to make it happen instead."

"Right. I was afraid it was going to be something like that." He sighed. He suspected that no agreement was going to keep Nabiki off his back on this one. He had never seen her quite so... focused. And that was saying something.

Her smile morphed slightly as she presumably saw his statement as capitulating to her request. "So are you meeting her again? If so, when?"

He thought about it, then shrugged and told the truth. "Now?" Pushing the door open and leaning past her, he glanced at the hall clock and nodded. "Yeah, technically now."

While he and Kasumi had ideas for how to beat Happosai, Nabiki had already proven she knew more about how businesses worked and people's heads. He already more or less spilled the beans, so maybe they could actually pull her into this now.

"What?"

He grinned at her disconcerted expression and wondered if she thought he could really be in two places at once. She had referenced a certain manga not too long ago after all. He paused briefly and wondered if he could pull that off, then shook his head, dismissing it as unimportant and clarified. "Well, not me obviously, but Kasumi's meeting with her. Or should be."

Nabiki immediately jumped at him and he just barely caught the middle Tendo sister, holding her awkwardly and looking at her with disbelief.

"What?" His tone was flat and he stared down at Nabiki wondering if she had been replaced by a pod person. Or maybe Kodachi, though then she probably wouldn't be going on about corporate lawyers like they were celebrities.

Nabiki reached over and pushed the door open again, then glanced up at him and made a shooing gesture. "Well? Get going!"

"Now? We can't just skip school!"

She shook her head and tsked at him. "Of course we can, you do it all the time for your stupid fights."

Ranma glowered at her and considered just dropping her on her butt, despite what she might do to him in retaliation. "What makes you think I'm going to carry you there anyway?" If he could even find Kasumi. He knew a few of the houses she would presumably be taking Happosai and Michi past, but for all he knew they could already be done with it.

"What's the big deal, you do it for Akane all the time." She batted her eyelashes at him ridiculously and draped her arms around him like her sister usually did. Both of them, now that he thought about it.

"That's different!" he protested, completely uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was heading.

"Oh?" Nabiki's eyes gleamed and he looked at her apprehensively. What had he said? "What interesting news. Shall I adjust my betting pool on when you two are hooking up?"

"No! Why would, it's not-" Ranma spluttered. He should have known this wasn't going to end well. His conversations with Nabiki never did. "Fine, screw it, it doesn't matter. This is between us though. And you owe me."

"More secrets? How mysterious." She batted her eyes at him again, cooing in appreciation.

Ranma glared.

Laughing, she unlaced her arms from around his neck, satisfying herself with a slight hold on his shirt, and stopped making absurd faces at him. "Fine, fine. Whatever it takes, let's just go before we miss her."

"Whatever." Ranma adjusted the middle Tendo sister briefly so she was a bit less of a dead weight then leaned out of the closet, looking both ways before he stepped out. No one there thankfully. He just knew this was going to get out though. There was no way his luck held out for something that looked as incriminating as this.

Finding an open window, Ranma jumped out and started running when he hit the ground.

"Oh, Ranma? I haven't forgotten about the other information you owe me either."

Ranma groaned.

"Ranma?" Kasumi appeared confused as he walked out of a nearby alley. When her sister did the same though, her eyes widened and the confusion in her voice took on a slight edge that was probably only audible to those who knew her well. "Nabiki!?"

"Uhh, I can explain, Kasumi." He just wasn't particularly looking forward to it. In fact, he wasn't even sure where to begin. He and Nabiki had seen the trio they were confronting now in the distance and she had asked him to set her down out of sight. "You see, Nabiki saw us with Ms. Yasuda last night and wanted to-"

The girl he had just mentioned stepped forward smoothly and took over. "Introduce herself. A pleasure Ms. Yasuda. My name is Nabiki Tendo, I'm Kasumi's younger sister."

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Tendo." Michi seemed slightly bemused.

Nabiki smiled genially and bowed. "The pleasure is all mine. I felt I needed to introduce myself when I noticed you yesterday.

"I hope it isn't presumptuous, but I have actually followed your career for some time. You are something of a role model to me- while it is becoming more common, there aren't many women who have been as successful in business as you have."

Waving off the compliment, though she seemed pleased, Michi said, "At least partially an accident of birth I'm afraid. I am always glad to hear of young women who are aiming to get into business though and don't intend to let the challenges stand in their way.

"Are you out of school today for some reason?"

Nabiki nodded briefly and said, "I am and I decided I should be here. It's important after all." A true statement more or less, Ranma admitted to himself, even if the 'reason' was that she was skipping school solely for this meeting. He wondered absently how the lawyer was taking the statement given the reason for this little tour of the neighborhood.

Looking towards Happosai, Ms. Yasuda raised an eyebrow. When he just shrugged she turned back to Nabiki and nodded slightly. "I see. Such an interesting family."

Looking at Nabiki's pleased expression as she and the old pervert's lawyer friend exchanged small talk, Ranma couldn't really let this go on as it was- they were going to get to something more substantial eventually and start talking about why they were here. Nabiki had annoyed him and taken advantage a lot, but it wasn't really malicious enough that he wanted to sabotage her chances after college or whatever she was aiming to do. Plus, the longer he let this go on the more likely someone was to just come out right and say what was going on with Kasumi in front of her.

He wasn't really sure how to get across to Michi that she didn't know without telling her that Nabiki was lying through her teeth though. He hadn't really thought this through very well when he brought her- he had hoped to have time to talk with Kasumi before her sister came out.

Actually, that wasn't a bad idea. She was a fair bit away from the pair. Sidling up beside the eldest Tendo sister, he leaned over and whispered, "Nabiki doesn't actually know, but I'm not sure how long that that's going to last."

"Oh my, so she is..." Kasumi glanced over at the pair.

He nodded.

A snap from just behind the two caused Ranma and Kasumi to look behind themselves and they saw Happosai pouting. "So you didn't pass on your skills, Kasumi? I had such high hopes when I saw little Nabiki here."

"Too bad, you've only corr-" The younger martial artist coughed slightly and looked over at Happosai's 'true disciple'. The usual 'banter' between himself and Happosai was a lot more difficult when he had to worry about hurting Kasumi's feelings. "-passed on your, ahh, past times to one Tendo."

The old letch grinned at Ranma's obvious difficulty in word choice. "You're coming along, my boy. You'll appreciate the benefits of a fine brassiere in no time at all." He slapped him on the back and Ranma bared his teeth at him in something that might be interpreted as a smile by Kasumi. And probably only Kasumi. "So you don't want Nabiki finding out? Well, we can take care of that."

Vanishing abruptly, Happosai appeared on the middle Tendo sister's shoulder abruptly, causing her to stiffen and slap a hand to just below her breasts- Ranma assumed checking on the bra she was wearing. While she was letting out a sigh of relief, the old man said or rather whined, "Let's get going! We have a deadline you know."

Blinking, Michi looked at him and Ranma saw her mouth open to ask about it, only to close as Happosai began to gesture wildly behind Nabiki's head. Pointing to Kasumi, then Nabiki, shaking his head- all while apparently not moving enough to even make Nabiki suspect his actions. It wasn't exactly subtle, but it apparently got the job done because the lawyer said, "Thank you for the reminder. I do need to get back to the office soon.

"Shall we continue the client inventory?"

Ranma and Kasumi blinked, then exchanged looks and turned back to Michi with wide eyes. When the lawyer saw their reaction, she just smiled secretively and turned to Nabiki with an explanation. "I'm not certain if Ranma and Kasumi provided all of the details, but we're actually considering investing in the Anything Goes Laundry Service as part of a small business outreach program for Dai Ichi."

Nabiki simply nodded. "I hadn't received many of the details yet, it's true. Please go on." He had to admire her poker face really, he couldn't even detect a hint of surprise. Then again Ms. Yasuda had to know that she was bluffing at this point, even if she didn't know and the lawyer wasn't showing a hint of that either. Hopefully being lied to well was offsetting the fact that she was lying in the first place.

They began walking as Michi started spinning what had to be a completely fabricated story about a trial period over the next week where her corporation would be monitoring the business to see how well it was run. Nabiki actually chimed in with surprisingly knowledgeable questions about weird things like sales targets and profit margins that sounded like she was actually familiar with the business. Ranma was really starting to wonder himself if that was what this entire thing had been about by the time the walk through the neighborhood ended. A glance over at Kasumi who seemed as bewildered as he was made that unlikely though.

When Ms. Yasuda had left in her car again, Nabiki spun around and pointed an accusatory finger at Kasumi. "I'm disappointed in you, big sister."

Kasumi blinked, eyes peering at the finger that was almost in her face and her sister continued uninterrupted. "You promised to let me know when something important happened with your business. Now we have almost no time at all to plan for this. This is an amazing opportunity!"

"Sorry?" The older Tendo sister tilted her head slightly and said mildly, "Though I can say that I was just as surprised as you really. We just met Ms. Yasuda yesterday when Happosai introduced her and I found out about this trial today." Capturing the hand that Nabiki had pointing at her in her own, she smiled at her sister. "Truly, I would like your help though. I don't know what I would do without your assistance on the bills and such."

Deflating and then returning her sister's smile, Nabiki said, "Well, I suppose it worked out alright." Her smile then broadened and that predatory gleam reappeared as she asked, "Did you hear what Ms. Yasuda said about our tax filings? I didn't even need to bring it up!" Kasumi nodded encouragingly and Ranma tuned out the resulting conversation, which seemed to primarily revolve around Nabiki getting excited about some aspect of business trivia that he suspected her sister didn't particularly understand and said sister responding with gentle approval and appreciation.

Happosai vanished somewhere on the way back to the Tendo dojo and when they reached the house, Nabiki rushed off for the stairs immediately, saying something about checking on the balance sheets or something like that. He assumed she was responsible for the linens sometimes- they couldn't be messed up that badly, even if he'd never seen her helping out in the past.

He and Kasumi on the other hand headed for the family room after checking to see if Genma and Soun were around. When it turned out they weren't, he collapsed onto the floor and the home maker knelt on one of the pillows.

Looking over at her, he asked, "So, uh... did you find it ominous that Happosai and Ms. Yasuda apparently know all about your business?" It had been a little creepy honestly- he hadn't paid a lot of attention to the conversation, but it had sounded like the lawyer knew more about it then he did after one day. Admittedly, that wasn't saying much given that he pretty much just knew it existed.

Tapping her lips thoughtfully, she nodded. "I suppose I don't really hide it. I was not expecting that though."

"Do you think it will be an issue?"

"I don't know," she admitted as she leaned back. "Grandfather is very good at this obviously. I don't think he will interfere though. So maybe it won't be a problem?" She sounded optimistic, but then again, Kasumi almost always did. He didn't really see what Happosai could do with the knowledge though.

Shrugging, he turned to the bigger problem. "So did you figure out what kind of sale you could run to encourage people to show up this week?"

"I was thinking maybe offering my services for free." She paused and glanced upwards, where Nabiki would presumably be in her room. "I am not certain that Nabiki would agree with that though."

He nodded slightly. They had been talking about making money during the week he thought in the cover that the lawyer had created for Kasumi. He supposed giving things away didn't really do that.

"I did have one other thought," Kasumi said hesitantly. "It just seems a little... unfair?" The question seemed to be more for herself than him. "And possibly a little deceitful."

"What is it?" Ranma didn't say that both of those things sounded like just what they needed, but he sat up so he could show his support.

"I think that just as I wouldn't take Grandfather's collection, he wouldn't take mine." Kasumi played with the hair tie she used, twisting it around her hair after pulling it over her shoulder. "So it seems... well, if someone gives their s- their panties, bras, and lingerie to me, well then they won't need to worry about Grandfather taking them."

She glanced at Ranma and he nodded approvingly a grin starting to form as he saw where she was going with this. Reassured, she continued, "And since I am willing to let them borrow them perhaps they would prefer if they were in my collection? It does seem a little dishonest though, since they are still donating their collection to me instead of Grandfather."

"Happosai proofing!" Ranma winced at how loud he was there and lowered his voice, though he continued to grin wildly. This would drive the gnome nuts. It would be amazing. "That's brilliant Kasumi. I bet-"

Nabiki suddenly slid around the corner, almost falling, and ran in to drop to her knees next to Kasumi. Grabbing her sister's hands, she held them up between her and peered deep into her eyes. "Is it true?" The older girl blinked and looked between Ranma and her sister.

"Is what true?"

"Can you actually stop Happosai from stealing panties?" Nabiki's tone was urgent, her voice higher than usual and her breathing wild. "I heard 'Happosai proofing'. If there is a way to do that we'll make a fortune. We'll be a lock for that investment!"

"I... think so," Kasumi replied. "He doesn't take all of yours, does he?"

Nabiki's expression soured, but she grew thoughtful a moment later. "No, he doesn't actually. Just my new ones, the first time I've worn them and those he has already stolen before." Her expression twisted again and she said, "And maybe a couple times while I'm wearing them where they've turned up in the laundry later. I just assumed you took those back from him then though."

Her eyes positively shining with an unholy mixture of greed and wonder, she asked, "How do you do it? Can we just sell it on its own? Is it like the girl away?"

Kasumi's eyes widened ever so slightly and she looked to Ranma in the closet thing she had to panic. He grimaced and shrugged, at a loss himself, but then had a thought. "I've seen her do it- it's kind of involved and I don't think you could actually sell it to someone, Nabiki."

Glancing back at him, Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "How would you- oh, wait, you've been hanging around her while she does the chores."

"Hey! I help!"

She waved away his protest. "Yes, yes, so you say." Expression turning calculating, the mercenary girl appeared to be lost in thought for a few minutes and shushed him any time he started to say something. Kasumi seemed happy enough to wait and her patience was finally rewarded.

"So here's what I think we do..."

Kasumi and Ranma had another expedition that night at her insistence and were able to 'solicit donations' from two houses on the far side of Nerima with none the wiser, expecting that they would get more people closer to the Tendo Dojo with their Anything Goes Laundry gambit.

He had at least gotten Kasumi to stop signing the notes that she left, but she was a little shaken by it and he wasn't sure whether the excitement or the guilt would determine whether they went again tomorrow night.

Ranma was entertained while they traveled by a description of the conversation that Kasumi and Happosai had while escorting Michi around the neighborhood that morning. Apparently they had been debating the merits of "Trophy" panty hunting versus "Catch and Release". Although it wasn't so much a debate as Kasumi explaining her philosophy to Happosai and then the pair enthusiastically talking about the merits of both based on what the pig-tailed martial artist understood from her description.

While they were out, they also put out the fliers that Nabiki had spent the afternoon feverishly working on describing the "revolutionary new process" that protected panties, bras, gym shorts, lingerie, and many other delicates from perverts far and wide.

The following day, he and Nabiki went to school as normal and then rushed home together afterwards, prompting shouted questions from Akane that he figured he would need to answer eventually. When they reached the dojo though, the line of women dropping off laundry that they had been hoping to see wasn't present.

"So we did get some at least," Nabiki prompted her sister.

Kasumi nodded excitedly and said, "More stopped by with their collections than usual and they seemed quite excited about being proactive." She took them to the laundry room where there was a moderate pile of laundry, the vast majority of which was women's undergarments. Kasumi's eyes positively shone as she took in the variety of delicate, sheer, and lacy fabrics.

Nabiki gave Kasumi an odd look at the wording, but she ultimately started frowning, since all told it was only a couple batches of laundry. Ranma wasn't terribly impressed either. It was probably less than Happosai typically fit in his bag on one of his regular runs.

"I don't understand why we got such a poor showing," the middle Tendo sister mused as they left the room. "It's only the first day, but I saw the fliers. We should have had more people than this." She began pacing when they reached the family room and Ranma and Kasumi moved to one side to watch her and occasionally try to contribute thoughts- when she rushed out muttering about "marketing research" though, he through up his arms in frustration.

Turning to Kasumi, he asked, "Is this really the time to go look at groceries?" He supposed he should give Nabiki the benefit of the doubt, but they were kind of on a timeline here.

"Perhaps there's a stall with lingerie?" Kasumi brightened and said, "I'll need to ask her about it when she returns. In the meantime, I really should take care of my collection."

While she did that, Ranma decided that he really needed to get some training in or his old man was going to get on his back. Running around Nerima carrying women that were taller than he was wasn't bad for that, but it was really just endurance training when it came down to it.

Both of them had finished up after a few hours and just managed to finish dinner in time. Nabiki was still absent, but came in during the middle of the meal and sat down. Akane gave her an odd look, since she was breathing rather hard and had a definite glow about her that indicated exercise. She didn't say anything though when Nabiki just lifted a sardonic eyebrow inviting questions.

Soun was his usual self during the meal, but Ranma thought his dad was acting kind of strange. More shifty than usual and he kept looking between him and Kasumi. Ranma was able to steal a good third of his dinner before he noticed and the old man never quite caught up.

When dinner finally ended Nabiki gave both him and Kasumi significant looks and then went upstairs. Assuming she wanted them to follow, he and Kasumi handed off clearing the dishes to Akane and trailed after her. After they had ended up in Nabiki's room, she stood up and then spun to face them.

"We have a problem."

"Ok..." Ranma waited and Nabiki continued a moment later.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "It took a little while to find out why our fliers hadn't attracted more attention, but I was finally able to confirm it this afternoon by taking some of my friends to ask around with me.

"Our problem is that Happosai has stopped stealing panties."

Ranma burst out laughing. "Come on, Nabiki. You can't be serious. The twisted little gnome can't go three minutes without latching on to some girl."

"I'm serious." Nabiki pulled out a little black book and flipped it open. "We didn't cover the whole of Nerima, but the only rumor of a panty thief that has shown up in the past two weeks or so was a couple of women living alone on the other side of the district. They were apparently robbed in the middle of the night.

"It's not really Happosai's MO though- he wasn't seen and there was apparently a strangely polite note apologizing for the crime too and encouraging the women to take better care of their undergarments going forward. The language was admittedly pretty similar to what Happosai uses, but he gets off on the chase."

Ranma frowned at that and Kasumi was looking distinctly guilty, which he hoped that Nabiki didn't notice. He spoke up to ensure the short-haired brunette focused on him. "I'm sure I've seen him come in with the standard bag of panties though."

Nabiki shrugged. "It's not from Nerima in that case." Taking a deep breath, she closed the notebook and plopped down on the bed. "Here's the thing that brought it home for me. Or maybe made me suspect in the first place. Happosai didn't steal my bra yesterday."

Blinking, the pig-tailed martial artist said, "So? That's the idea, right?"

"It was new- and it was this one." Nabiki reached down and pulled a couple pieces of shiny fabric off the ground, causing Kasumi to tsk in disapproval. That turned into a coo of delight when Nabiki showed off the matching lingerie. Ranma's cheeks pinked and he turned his gaze aside as the two exchanged brief compliments and comments on the undergarments.

"Ahh, yeah. That would do it."

Turning back after Kasumi had confiscated the bra and panty, he looked at Nabiki and asked, "So just because Happosai hasn't been around for a week or two people assume he's stopped for good?"

"Sort of," Nabiki said. "It's more like 'out of sight, out of mind'. People have short memories as a rule."

"What do we do then?" Kasumi asked. "Do we try something else?"

Nabiki shook her head and a small smile graced her lips, her eyes half-lidded and lazy. Ranma felt a shiver run up his spine as she turned her gaze on him and said, "No, I think I have a plan."

"This is a terrible idea." Ranma had said this many times so far, but it merited another attempt. She was currently dressed in Kasumi's ninja outfit, quickly hemmed and altered to fit her form in something approaching the way it had lay on the eldest Tendo daughter. Kasumi and Nabiki were currently discussing something in low tones on the other side of Kasumi's room that likely didn't bode well for her.

Turning at his statement, Nabiki asked, "Well, you could always go out as yourself."

"No!" Panicking at the thought of what Akane would do to her if she found out she was about do do what they had planned, Ranma shivered and hugged herself.

"Perhaps you have another idea you haven't shared then?"

"No." Ranma's tone was glum now and she sighed, but resolved to just keep quiet for now. Looking on the bright side, if Happosai was anything to judge by this should be an absolutely amazing training experience.

"I didn't think so." Nabiki walked over and patted him on the head consolingly and Kasumi came over and put her arms around him, giving him a hug that did a lot to express her gratitude and regret.

"So, you know the plan then. This is the last piece that we came up with to try and hide your identity." She held up a black wig with hair slightly longer than his own and tied in two braids.

He glared at her. "That's from my room!"

"Indeed it is, interesting that you own a woman's wig, isn't it?" She grinned at him and he contented himself with grumbling as the two pulled his own pig tail up and bound it into a bun at the nape of his neck then settled the wig in place and styled it into a high pony tail. Hopefully she hadn't found the other two he had hidden in his room or a few other incriminating pieces of clothing he used for disguises.

When the pair had finished, Ranma found that the wig was much more secure than it usually was when he put it on and they quickly finished the disguise by wrapping the mask around his face, hiding everything except for his eyes.

"Wouldn't this work better if I disguised myself as an old man like Happosai?"

Nabiki shrugged slightly. "Maybe, but we didn't have a men's ninja outfit and there's more chance of you being recognized. A perverted girl isn't quite as disgusting as an old man, but I'm sure you can sell it."

Sighing, Ranma stood and let Kasumi fuss over the way the outfit fit, then took a deep, bracing breath. "Ok, I'm off."

Taking as much care as she could, Ranma crept out of the Tendo dojo. Every decent lesson on stealth that Genma had ever passed down and a few she had learned herself from avoiding him was put to the test, particularly given that it was still light out.

Once she was a couple blocks from the Tendo dojo though, she stopped on a rooftop and pulled out a list that Kasumi had provided. Every one of her clients was listed along with their address and a quick description- of the collection, of course, not the individual.

Placing herself, she plotted a rough route through the neighborhood in her head and took off, deliberately letting herself be seen at this point and occasionally letting out an embarrassed "Hotcha" or "Heehee, panties!" like the old goat to get in character.

The first home that she entered actually had someone out putting their laundry on the line, which was about as good a setup as she could hope. Stopping briefly on the roof, she took a deep breath then dropped down right behind the woman. "Panties!" The gleeful yell nearly made the house wife jump out of her skin and she fell backwards as she turned to see Ranma pulling a single pair of panties off the line and pulling them up to her face mask as if sniffing them.

She felt vaguely ill, but she only took off when the women screamed, "Thief! Pervert!" and came after her with a laundry pole.

Dodging for a couple moments, she then leaped over the fence to the next house, this one a two story with no laundry in the yard. Searching around for a moment, she found the bedroom and popped open the bedroom. A number of rattling attempts at finding the underwear drawer for the woman finally summoned the woman who lived here and Ranma duplicated her performance at the previous house with a bra this time.

This set up a pattern for the next 30 minutes or so, letting her visit perhaps fifteen houses and begin to accumulate quite the coterie of angry wives, mothers, and daughters. A visit to Furinkan managed to pick up the women's volleyball team and the swim team and things started to blur after that.

It wasn't until she was perhaps an hour into little crime spree and it was starting to get dark that she noticed she had company. Taking a breather on a local convenience store roof, she was sprawled out on the concrete panting when a voice from behind her startled her so much she had to grab her chest where it had started beating wildly again.

"You've got potential, girl."

Spinning, she saw Happosai sitting on the roof behind her, smoking his pipe and eyeing her with a leer. Tittering and trying to ensure she disguised her voice, she tried to pretend confusion. "Ahh... potential?"

"Of course, cutie." Popping up to his feet, Happosai began walking around her and Ranma gulped. "I'm a martial arts expert and I know talent when I see it."

Ranma laughed nervously and spun to keep an eye on the old goat. "I, ah, have a little training... I'm kind of in the middle of something though." She heard a thunk behind herself and spun, eyes widening as she saw a ladder against the far wall.

"I saw! I saw!" Happosai grinned at her. "Mind some company? I could give you a few pointers you know."

Ranma blanched. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this act up around the old martial arts master. Though... if Happosai joined this little crusade it should only be that much more effective and he hopefully wouldn't need to repeat it. Dodging a can that the woman who had just crested the roof threw at her, the currently disguised boy made a snap decision and yelled, "Only if you can keep up, sir!"

Then she jumped over the few women on the roof, crouched briefly on the precipice, and finally leaped over the sea of women below. She heard additional cries of disgust behind her peppered with exclamations of delight from Happosai as she started running again and grinned to herself.

If this didn't work to bring in more people for Kasumi, nothing would.

Trying not to move much, Ranma ignored the fact that she was currently lying on Kasumi's bed and concentrated on trying to avoid aggravating the numerous bruises that covered her body. Kasumi's humming in the background helped with this, bringing back hazy memories of what she thought might be her Mom as she floated in an almost meditative state.

She couldn't remember too many other women in her life besides maybe the old lady after the c-c- feline training thing. She didn't really remember her singing or even humming though, so she thought this was maybe her mother. Shivering, she resolutely turned away from the thoughts the... incident always triggered and tried to chase the earlier feeling, but it seemed to have been lost.

Oh well. She would have shrugged if she didn't want to avoid using any of her muscles at the moment so she settled for slowly letting out a deep breath. How untrained girls could hit that hard was beyond her. Though she suspected the various blunt instruments of doom they carried helped.

She had gotten back to the house after finally managing to ditch the women chasing her and Happosai close to midnight. The old man had simply given her a congratulatory pat on the back (or a bit lower anyway) and bounded away. Her ill-gotten gains were secreted below Kasumi's bed, even if she couldn't use them in the contest and she had reported a resounding success to Nabiki- only to be told she needed to do it again tomorrow anyway.

Nabiki had finally told her to get some rest and had left for the night, leaving Kasumi and her alone. She had stripped out of the ninja suit and been about to stagger out of the door when the older girl asked her to stay for a moment while she fixed the suit and helped to fit it a little better so it hopefully wouldn't tear and rip as easily the following day.

When Kasumi offered to allow her to lie down on the bed while she waited she had been only too glad to get off her feet. She barely noticed the tape measure being used.

The occasional thrum of the sewing machine as the young homemaker fixed the numerous tears and other damage in her suit was a kind of counterpoint to the song and Ranma soon found her eyes drifting shut as it lulled her to sleep.

"Oh, my."

Ranma almost walked into Kasumi, who had stopped just inside the door, then abruptly stopped as he made it into the dojo himself. "Oh, my." There wasn't really anything else that summed it up quite like that.

"Oh, my..." Nabiki stared at Kasumi in disbelief after she bumped into Ranma and caught a glimpse inside herself. "...how did we even...?" Her voice trailed off and she abruptly pulled out a calculator, punching buttons furiously.

Ranma looked around the veritable mountains of panties, bras, and other women's undergarments that filled the dojo. Some of those, significantly less than half he thought, had been here the previous day. Happosai was sitting on the largest of the piles and cackling to himself while a small table had been set up in the exact center of the dojo with Michi Yasuda sitting at it with what appeared to be ledgers or notebooks in front of her.

The last few days had been... hectic, to say the least. On the fourth night, Kasumi had him take her out again despite an extremely full day of processing emergency laundry runs by desperate women. He had done a shorter run as the masked ninja panty thief, then disappeared and he had taken Kasumi to a completely different part of town to minimize the chance of her being spotted.

Needless to say, this had not been completely effective and he had been forced to protect Kasumi from someone who had been visiting a friend earlier in the day in the area where he had made his fake panty run. While not quite up to one of the runs, trying to keep a non-combatant out of harms way without revealing himself had stretched his skills to the limit.

Kasumi, of course, had simply been a little flushed and quite keen to try it again the following night, but he had put his foot down. And given that the stream of customers coming to the dojo had been even greater than the previous day, he thought she would be exhausted enough just taking in the "laundry". He had certainly been tired by the end of the day.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten that she learned from Happosai. There had been a vague hope in the back of his head that the glut of panties would burn her out, for lack of a better word, but by the end of the day Kasumi was so energized that she could barely sleep. Nabiki was almost as energetic early on and had apparently worked out something about cross selling dojo lessons too, which meant that Soun was kept busy and distracted from what was going on.

By the time the end of the sixth day rolled around though, Ranma and Nabiki could only stare at Kasumi in disbelief as she continued to greet the women who came by with cheerful enthusiasm. And the seventh day, when Happosai was actually operating... Well, that was pretty much a blur at this point.

Luckily, they had about a twelve hour break before the judging, so rest had been possible.

Shaking himself and coming back to the present, Ranma heard Happosai say, "I have to say Kasumi dear, when I saw how well you did. Well, I don't mind saying it brought a tear to my eye."

Eyes widening, Ranma quickly pulled Nabiki back. He could see where this was going and he really needed to get her out of here.

"Nabiki. Hssst. Nabiki!" Pulling herself away from the calculator, the middle Tendo sister looked up at him with a dazed expression.

"So much yen..."

Grabbing her by the shoulders, he leaned forward and hissed, "It's not all ours!"

Blinking, Nabiki glanced to each side at the piles of undergarments. One side was neatly stacked and organized, the other a haphazard pile. She glanced back at Happosai again and her eyes widened. "What the- are all these his!"

"I don't know, maybe, maybe not. Maybe he got jealous or something," Ranma said levelly, "but you can't let Soun and Akane in here. You have to go distract them."

"Why?" Nabiki glanced at Kasumi. She had been asking more questions lately and Ranma suspected she might have some suspicions, or worse, about what was actually going on. They had been able to avoid the discussion so far, but... well, they could deal with that later.

"Why do you think? Akane will be so angry she'll probably level the dojo and your Dad..." He dug around for a moment, flailing for a reason and finally stealing one from the Tendo's mother. "He'll probably have a heart attack if he sees this."

Scowling, Nabiki said, "Fine. I will be back though!" She pointed a finger at him. "And I expect some straight answers after this."

Slipping out the door, Ranma sighed in relief. Behind himself, he heard Happosai still talking about the contest with less than perfect restraint. "And to think. You actually got them to bring their silky darlings to you!"

Shaking his head slightly as he saw Kasumi blushing, he was about to move towards the group when he was abruptly jerked backwards and out the door. It took him only a few moments to break the hold, but by that time he was already by the side of the dojo and he took in his father looking furtive. Well, more furtive.

"What's up, Pop?" Ranma took in the backpack strapped to Genma's back and frowned. They had missed their annual get away, but this was a crappy time to bring it up. "I can't leave right now."

"Shh..." Genma glanced towards the interior of the dojo, then said, "Boy, I've never tried to deny I'm weak. I make mistakes like any other man. I've always been honest about that."

Ranma snorted. "Yeah, you have. What do you want, Pop? It's a bad sign if you're not trying to blame someone else, just spit it out."

"I... may have made a mistake. With the Master." Glancing around nervously again, he hefted the backpack once. "Look, the... the details aren't important, but..."

He leaned in, gesturing Ranma close and said, "Make sure you make the Master and that woman count properly. Just know I did what I could- it wasn't much, but... just make sure they check them."

Ranma gaped at the implication that his Dad of all people knew about Kasumi and the contest. He barely even moved when the old man gasped and pointed at something over his shoulder, but he was so out of it that his dad was able to physically spin him around instead to get his eyes off of him.

By the time he turned back, Genma was gone. Ranma frowned and looked around for a minute, but finally decided it wasn't important at this point. He'd track him down later, for now he wanted to get back into the dojo.

As he entered, it appeared that Genma's warning wasn't going to be necessary, because Kasumi was already answering in the negative about just conceding based on the relative sizes of the piles. He sat back a little ways, cross-legged, and watched the event. For the most part, it appeared that Ms. Yasuda was just going to be a glorified secretary, because all the actual judging was done by Happosai and Kasumi in tandem and the lawyer was essentially just writing it down.

The two were currently going through Kasumi's results. Due to her organization, largely a result of the fact that she needed to actually return these to the correct owners and it would be easier if Ranma and Nabiki could actually identify who they belonged to, it went pretty rapidly.

In the entire collection, not a single bra or panty was disqualified. Which wasn't to say that they hadn't had items that were disqualified over the course of the week. Nabiki had had several friends deliver their undergarments to her before Kasumi somehow convinced her that it was more appropriate if she took care of that. Kasumi, however, was meticulous and they were sorted out long before they reached the dojo when the it turned out the laundry room wasn't large enough.

They hadn't even tried to include the ones he had picked up in the little runs through Nerima that he was trying to forget.

As Ms. Yasuda worked on tabulating the results after they finished, Ranma turned his attention to Happosai's pile and sighed. He had no idea how the old goat had managed to put together as many as he had, but it was pretty clear that he had far more panties and bras present than Kasumi.

Frowning slightly as he remembered what his Dad had said, he wondered for a moment what he had meant as they started in on the other half of the dojo. Only for a moment though, because the third pair of panties that Kasumi had picked up to examine triggered a surprised expression from the girl.

Looking over at Happosai, she said, "I believe these were handled by Uncle Genma before you, Grandfather."

At his frown, she handed them over and he blinked as a moment later and said, "Well, that's true, I guess." Setting them aside, he patted them briefly and then pulled another pair himself only to frown again, this time with a bit more suspicion. He set those aside as well, this time without saying anything and the pair of Anything Goes experts got through perhaps another three dozen without doing more than idle chatting.

However, every third panty or bra appeared to be disqualified and Ranma was finding it hard to fight down a grin as Happosai's expression became more strained. Then Kasumi blinked and said, "Oh, my. These were handled by Father." At that point, Ranma realized exactly what had happened and jumped up to point an accusatory finger at the Grand Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts.

"You didn't collect all these on your own, you forced my and Kasumi's pops to help you!"

Jumping to his feet, Happosai scowled and yelled, "So what if I did, it's in the rules!" He then grinned slyly at Ranma. "Not like you weren't helping Kasumi here."

"She isn't even a martial artist!" Ranma yelled, "You knew she was going to need help. This contest was rigged." Then he remembered something and pointed at Happosai again. "Ha- and you did cheat, they didn't sign the contract you made me sign!"

"Oh?" Happosai cackled and held out an imperious hand to Michi. She rolled her eyes, but leaned down to her briefcase and pulled out the thick bundle of papers to hand over. Happosai quickly started flipping through it, squinting at the pages and mumbling and giggling to himself. "When did we add that... wait, really? That was a great idea, I impress even myself. Where was it though... Aha!"

Holding out the page, he displayed a signature that Ranma recognized with a groan. "Damnit, Pops!"

"That wouldn't be binding under duress." Jumping, the pig-tailed martial artist whirled and saw Nabiki leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and a small knowing smile on her lips.

Ms. Yasuda smiled in response and nodded to the girl. "We meet again, Miss Tendo. You are correct, in fact. But I'm afraid this was a case of quid pro quo."

Nabiki frowned and said, "Happosai paid them?"

This prompted a shake of the head by Ms. Yasuda. "I believe the offer was officially being exempt from being designated as Master Happosai's heir."

"Wait a minute..." Ranma thought back to his Dad and his eyes widened. "They sold me out!"

Nabiki looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "And this surprises you for some reason? They tried it within five minutes of the old goat showing up again."

Michi coughed and looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm afraid that isn't precisely right."

"What?" Nabiki looked from Happosai, who was grinning expectantly at Ranma and was literally holding his mouth shut, to Ranma himself who had started growling at the old master. When his eyes flicked to Kasumi to check on her reaction, he heard her breath catch and he cursed to himself for not having better control. "Kasumi!? Happosai's heir is Kas-"

Ranma moved as soon Nabiki started yelling and he hoped that whatever she had done to Soun and Akane was keeping them far from the dojo, because he was pretty sure that could have easily been heard from the house. "Quiet," he hissed.

When she stopped yelling into his hand, she turned around and kicked him in the shin, but then she took a deep breath and said, "Thank you. Dad and Akane are out, but... well, we probably don't really want the neighbors..." She stopped and then looked at Kasumi, who returned her gaze with a somewhat nervous smile.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Nabiki massaged her temples with her fingers and Ranma heard her muttering under her breath. "10 yen, 20 yen, 30 yen, 40 yen..." He shrugged. Whatever it took, they could deal with Nabiki later.

"Let's finish- it's not over yet," he growled. They still might pull off a win by Kasumi if his Dad's sabotage made a difference. A good third of what they had gone through so far had been put aside. If that held true through the whole pile they had a shot.

The pace after that seemed agonizingly slow to Ranma, particularly after Nabiki snapped out of it and started grilling him on why he of all people knew about this. She didn't take the terms of the wager particularly well, though he suspected it was less Kasumi's reputation and more her own she was thinking about. Just as they were getting into an argument about that, they heard Kasumi say, "That's everything."

With those words, the dojo fell silent, everyone but Happosai appearing tense. After a few minutes, Ms. Yasuda finished tallying her numbers. Eyebrow raising, she stared at it, then went back to calculating again and finally shrugged. "It's a tie."

Ranma blinked. "What? What happens then?"

Happosai cackled. "Tiebreaker! Same time next week!"

"No!" Ranma and Nabiki shouted together. The exhaustion, trials, and tribulations he had faced this week flashed through his mind and he stared sightlessly into the distance. Beside him, he heard Nabiki whisper in a tone of utter horror, "There probably wasn't even a Dai Ichi small business program, it was all for nothing..."

"Perhaps something else then, Grandfather?" Kasumi asked, tilting her head slightly at Ranma and Nabiki as they slumped against each other.

Plopping down into a cross-legged sitting position, Happosai stroked his mustache and appeared to be thinking. "Well, this was a test of sorts. Tell me, Kasumi dear, did you ever get the Treasure Box of the Three Priestesses open again?"

"No, I'm afraid not." Kasumi's expression might have been slightly cross, if you squinted and tilted your head the right way.

"There you go then." Happosai's pipe was abruptly in his hand and he spun it, then pointed at Kasumi. "You have one hour to open it. If you succeed, I'll let you add it to your total. If you fail, it gets added to mine."

Kasumi's eyes widened and Ranma sat up, breathing for the first time in what seemed like ten minutes. He nudged Nabiki and she looked at him blankly for a minute then caught up on the conversation.

"We're saved!" Nabiki almost cheered, then she turned to him and asked, "What's the treasure box of the three priestesses? It's no problem, right?"

"Uh, well, Kasumi opened it when she was 4, so it should be possible?" Ranma winced as Nabiki's eyes narrowed at him. It was possible he shouldn't have ended that with an interrogative. "It did take her like 6 weeks last time though. With clues."

"Great." Slumping back down, Nabiki watched the clock on the wall slowly tick away the time and Ranma did the same for lack of anything better. Happosai had vanished somewhere when he wasn't looking, which struck the martial artist as odd, but he figured now was as good a time as any to check on Kasumi.

Leaving Nabiki behind, Ranma walked over to the eldest Tendo sister and asked, as casually as he could, "How's it going, Kasumi."

"Hmm...? Ranma?" Looking up from the puzzle, Kasumi smiled at him and patted the ground next to her, so he sat down. Looking over the puzzle, he didn't see how this was going to work. There was... well, nothing at all that he could see to provide any indication of how to get into it.

"I'm afraid I still don't have any recollection of how to open it," Kasumi said after a minute. "I've been trying for two weeks and it just won't come to me. I've tried meditation like Sensei Ito suggested, reviewed my journals, I even tried looking in the fire like Master Hino used to do. All I saw was panties though."

She giggled at that and then leaned over to whisper to him. "Master Hino used to see those too and he would usually ask who they were on when I told him."

Ranma grinned, wondering how Kasumi's Mom had found all these characters. Looking up at the clock though, he noticed it was over 30 minutes into the hour they had for opening the box and it wiped away his smile.

Thinking, he finally said, "What if you don't try to remember? Have you tried just starting over?"

"Not really," Kasumi said after a moment, her tone hesitant. "I didn't think there was much chance of it working. I'm not really very good at puzzles."

"Here's the thing though," Ranma said after a minute. "I don't think Happosai is either. And he got this open the first time, right?

"So how'd he do it?"

Kasumi blinked. "That is a good question."

Leaning forward, Ranma pressed his point. "When you were a kid, you didn't have any skills really, so you had to muddle through it. But look at this-" Ranma gestured to the piles of undergarments on either side of them, the perfectly equal mountains of lace, silk, and satin with a smaller hill between. "Your skills are pretty darn close to his now. So try usin' 'em."

He rolled up to his knees and put a hand on each of Kasumi's shoulders, catching her eyes with his own. "You have the greatest pair of panties ever made in the history of the world in that box and they're from _your_ collection. If you can sense the precise location of a bra through three walls and across a street you can do this."

Ducking her head slightly, Kasumi gave him a shy smile, then turned back to the box. If he focused, he thought he could almost feel the delicate wisps of chi that she was using as they turned upon the box and sought out hidden crevices and secret channels in the engraving.

Happosai strolled in five minutes before the hour was up, somehow dragging a panda that was at least ten times his size. Ranma couldn't muster up much sympathy for his dad, even if was instrumental in foiling the pervert's plans.

What he got a real kick out of though was seeing Happosai's jaw drop when he saw Kasumi kneeling in the center of the dojo with the open box sitting in her lap.

Her smile was several orders of magnitude more brilliant than usually though and the old goat finally burst into a cackling laugh. "And here I thought I was going to have to give you a last minute clue just to really ratchet up the tension and give it a proper ending.

"Ahh well, you win some, you lose some." He tossed himself back to lie on the pile of panties he had collected. "She's still my heir, I'll turn her around on the publicity thing later."

"What! You can't do that, she won, old man!" Ranma jumped to his feet, incensed by the backstabbing little troll. He clenched his fists.

Happosai cackled again and pulled out the contract he had gotten from Ms. Yasuda earlier. "It's right here in the contract. If you wanted to be my heir though, you shoulda said so, my boy."

||Don't do it, boy! It's a trap!|| The beaten panda had jumped up and pulled a sign out. After he was sure he had caught Ranma's eye, he flipped it around. ||Take your freedom and run! Let the girl go, better her than us!||

"Shut up, you!" Ranma realized that he and Happosai had both pounded Genma moment's after the panda collapsed again, growling and clutching its head.

"Fine!" The pig-tailed martial artist pointed at Happosai. "I challenge you- if I win, you take me as your heir!"

Happosai's eyes gleamed and Ranma gulped slightly, recalling the overwhelming aura from the first serious fight they had. With the mountains of panties around, it wasn't likely that his go to move for beating the old pervert would work either and he couldn't expect the girl's volleyball team to come marching past this time.

"Michi?" Ranma blinked for a moment at the non-sequitor, then turned and watched as Ms. Yasuda pulled out a fresh piece of paper. With commendable speed for a non-martial artist, she sped through filling it with line after line of writing before pulling out a straight edge and swiftly adding several lines.

Pulling out a stamp, she carefully inked a seal of some kind at the bottom, then turned and presented it to Kasumi. "Would you mind witnessing, Miss Tendo?"

"Umm, I suppose?" Kasumi carefully signed where indicated and then the lawyer made the rounds of everyone else in the room. Genma had to be helped up to sign and scarcely seemed to know what he was doing and the paper ended with Nabiki, presumably as another witness.

"Are we done yet?" At Happosai's nod, Ranma jumped backwards and entered a cautious martial arts stance. He didn't have much chance at this, but he had to do something for Kasumi. As Happosai's aura built up again, he felt that same overwhelming paralysis start to seize hold of him again.

There was no way that he was letting that old goat win though. With a roar, Ranma staggered forward, fighting through the miasma of power and lust and threw a wobbly punch right at his opponent. Who was just standing there for some reason.

Ranma felt his fist contact the pervert's wrinkly head, nudging it slightly, and then the little geezer just collapsed, clutching his face and yelling, "Ack, I am done in!" The miasma of power disappeared and the younger martial artist just stared, not quite understanding what had just happened.

"The horror! The pain!" Happosai twitched and writhed for maybe a minute, then appeared to fall unconscious. Looking around the room, Ranma saw Michi looking at the wall clock while Nabiki was apparently still reading the damned contract and Kasumi had started clapping slowly for him.

"What just happened?"

The clock ticked over to a minute past and Ms. Yasuda said, "Apparently you have won the match. Congratulations, you're one of the heirs to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts."

Kasumi clapped again and said, "Congratulations, Ranma!"

"What?" Ranma was pretty sure he was missing something. Particularly, as... "Wait, one of the heirs?"

"Hmm?" Michi looked up from where she had started packing up her belongings. "Oh, yes. I'm sure your sister-in-law to be can tell you about it. She looks like she's just about done."

Ranma glanced at Kasumi, then Michi waved her hand and pointed to Nabiki. She was indeed just finishing up with the contract and handed it over when Michi asked for it. Still feeling like he was missing something, Ranma said, "Well? What did she mean?"

"Ranma." Nabiki started, then stopped. Apparently trying to figure out how to put this. "Did you even read the damn thing before you signed?"

Ranma blinked. "You saw me, didn't you?" She continued to stare at him levelly. "Fine." He rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't really read it. Why would I need to do that? I knew what it was about."

"Because the contract was about being 'an' heir to the School." She paused expectantly.

"Right."

"No, not 'right'." Nabiki's voice rose and she walked forward, poking him in the chest. "'An' heir, not 'the' heir."

Ranma's eyes widened. "What?"

"There was also yet another marriage contract." She rolled her eyes. "Though given how many of those you have pop up around you, I suppose I should have expected that."

"What."

Kasumi also chimed in this time. "Marriage contract?"

Nabiki looked torn between impressed and frustrated, possibly at Ranma himself, because he was pretty sure his brain was just not engaging. "Well, more a confirmation of a previously executed agreement based on the language."

"Who?" Kasumi started to ask, then stopped as she saw Nabiki raise an eyebrow at her.

A low, evil giggling sounded behind Ranma and he turned slowly to see Happosai climbing back to his feet and dusting off his hands. "And it's done! Mwahahaha! The perfect coupling of martial and panty power! The Anything Goes School is secure for another generation!"

Genma leaped up and Ranma wondered absently where he had gotten hot water. "But Master, what about the agreement between Tendo and I? Akane is the boy's fiancee there!"

"What do I care about that?" Happosai snorted. "Switch it to Kasumi, leave it be and let the boy have a harem, or scrap it all together. The important thing is that my two heirs are getting hitched and their kids will be perfect!"

His laughter filled the dojo as he cavorted around, literally kicking his heels together, and Ranma turned to face Kasumi with wide eyes that appeared to be matched on her side.

.oOo.

* * *

Giggling to himself, Happosai watched from a closet as Ranma and Kasumi glanced at each other while cleaning, then hurriedly looked away again. He'd give them a little time before he really started in on the training. Let them get lovey-dovey first, maybe face some challenges together like he and Cologne had. Give Kasumi a little time to work on Ranma.

He had been almost as impressed by the boy as he was Kasumi. Well, not really. It was hard to beat convincing people to just hand their silky darlings over to you of their own free will. She was a once in a lifetime lingerie lover such as he had seldom seen.

Still, he almost hadn't recognized Ranma. If it weren't for the fact that she still wore boxer shorts rather than proper panties he might have missed it entirely.

Genma's kid certainly knew his stuff though and he'd shown a commendable skill at panty snatching for a novice. He'd train his children up right on that bit. Kasumi he was afraid probably wouldn't be able to get into the spirit of things for a good rumble any longer. He'd met buddist monks who had meditated on the meaning of peace for forty years that were less centered than that girl. Still, she got the important bits.

Noting that the pair had moved on from the room, Happosai considered following them but decided that he could give them a little privacy. Ranma had been muttering to himself about his damned promises and rewards, which was intriguing, but he had a certain apprentice to teach a lesson. He grinned lecherously and decided he'd let his imagination fill in the details later.

Popping out of the closet, he stretched briefly and started a leisurely stroll around the dojo. Genma would be around somewhere. Thinking back to yesterday's excursion, he scowled to himself. It had been the perfect plan, he just hadn't accounted for his apprentices actually growing spines.

He should have known something was up after Genma pulled him aside after Soun had enthusiastically signed the contract abandoning his parental rights. He could almost hear it again.

Genma had pulled him away to talk privately. "You're really going to have him help put his own daughter under your control, Master? That is beyond cruel."

"Oh?" he had said, "And who hasn't told his best friend about Kasumi yet, eh? Don't think you fooled me into believing you were unconscious and just put it together now, you old fraud."

The widened eyes and ridiculous exclamations of innocence should have let him realize it then and there. The fact that Genma even brought it up, revealing he knew what was going on should have told him to leave his rotten apprentice behind. Just as well he was starting from scratch.

As he walked out onto the clothes line, peering about for a lazy panda, he spotted the kid who turned into a pig walking in the door and grinned. Looked like that reward session was going to be cut short if he was any judge. Bouncing down, he followed along behind Ryoga then abruptly stopped as a bolt of inspiration struck.

Laughing, suddenly and loud enough that the Hibiki kid actually jumped into the pond in startlement, he turned and bounced out of the Tendo house. He knew exactly what he needed to do now.

The boy had a proper amount of rivals and love interests to keep him growing properly. Kasumi though. Kasumi was certainly missing anything of the sort. That needed to be fixed post-haste. Cackling again, he bounded across Nerima. He thought he'd start outside Nerima... Tomobiki maybe? Juuban? He was sure he had a few acquaintances around that could do the job. If not, well, he'd figure something out. He had plenty of time after all.


End file.
